An eclectic spiritual & inspirational place to heal, learn, feel & expand. Heart & soul first. Miraculous experiences from India as well as the life & times of a spiritual healer/teacher in the U.S. Miracles, saints, sages, gurus, healing, life & death... and more...!

Friday, April 29, 2005

time is a crock, life is a dream...

someone in an online forum asked these questions the other day, and I so loved the questions that I thought I'd put them here, with the answers I offered up, off the top of my head.

Are there times when the time dissolves?
Have you ever witnessed another of your lives?
Ever had the experience of not knowing what, when, where and who you are?
What is your experience of when the veils come down and what does it look like to you???"


WOW, what a great line of inquiry. (where do folks come up with these great questions??????)

when I was young, ie, from childhood until, oh, yesterday (grinning) I was convinced that time is a crock.

I've said that since I was about 10 years old, emphatically.

time is a crock.

I used to drive people crazy because I keep all the clocks in my home and on my wrist running at slightly different times (all fast, just degrees of 'how fast' they are is the question) -- I always know what time it is, but I hate the assumed exactness of this contract we've all made with one another, a social consent, about 'time' when for me, fully, I don't ever remembering believing that it exists, at all, in the first place.

totally, I think there are times (grinning again) when time itself dissolves.

when I meditate, for example -- forget it. maybe I was 'out there' (in here) for five minutes, maybe several hours. I really don't know and can't gauge it. so that's pretty much a daily experience for me.

same with when I used to paint and compose music, and poetry. did it take five minutes? seemed like it! what do you MEAN three hours have gone by.....!????!!!!!

I've also noticed, when I was in India, that the days were far longer than days here in America -- I mean, each day stretched into a kind of eternity. things that had happened in the morning literally seemed like they'd transpired a month before, not the same day. most of the time, none of us knew what day of the week it was, let alone the date. days blurred into days and suddenly it would come to my attention that another entire month had gone by.

same with the miracle energy -- it's almost impossible to gauge time when a miracle is happening in front of your eyes, like a manifestation of some object out of nothing. did it take 30 seconds? 2 minutes? there is NO way to know.

time, in those moments, stretches so infinitely that it appears to join the silence of the absolute god energy...........

have I witnessed another of my lives? -- yes.

as to not knowing 'what, when, where and who you are?'

oh, man, I'm takin' the Fifth on this. (it happens all the time.)

my experiences of the veil coming down have been radically different at different times and with different appearances. I think -- from my experience -- there are different layers of 'veil' and when one dissolves for a moment, it's an extraordinary moment.

some experiences -- seeing the light in other people burning so strongly that I no longer perceive their individual faces or human forms. seeing a miracle so intense that the entire room is filled with particles of light. seeing divine forms standing in front of me and recognizing that I, too, am That.

I've seen the veil break away and what's behind it can be terrifying, intoxicating, thrilling, pure love... so many different qualities, in different experiences, at different times.

once I asked Kaleshwar, my teacher, what would happen if I got enlightened, how would I view the life I had already been leading, ie, my past, and all that had transpired, up to that moment.

his answer: "just dreams. it's just dreams. it will all seem like dreams."

(and don't forget: time is a crock. you heard it here, first...!)

Tuesday, April 05, 2005

... there's no place like home!!!

there's no place like home!!!

there's no place like home!!!

okay, so imagine you've been living in a place like Oz, or Mars, or Middle Earth for years and years and years... experiencing miraculous energies and events, living in a heightened energetic environment and relying almost entirely on your own inner experiences (in meditation, contemplation, and silence) rather than on much external stimuli for inspiration and information...

and then one find day, you catapult yourself into America, in 2005. more specifically, into California, land of freeways and silicon in all kinds of interesting and nature-defying applications...

and that's, in nutshell, what's been happening with me over the last few months.

after five straight years living in an ashram in south India, working intensely on the spiritual path to the more or less exclusion of everything else, my mate Jonathan and I were pretty much given the thumbs up by our teacher, the extraordinary saint, Kaleshwara ( for those of you who've just tuned in!) and sent back to our native land to teach and heal.

only trouble is, we look like Americans, talk like Americans, walk like Americans... but inside, internally, I feel completely like a stranger in a very strange land.

at the same time, WOW, do they ever give you a lot of food in restaurants here in America!

I also realize that I haven't actually driven a car since 2002. that's got to be unconstitutional, by now...! (and my god, is it fun to be terrorizing unsuspecting commuters by my completely insane driving style again!)

and -- the redwoods around Frost Cottage, the haven I've called home since 1998. the house/temple is maybe one-tenth the height of the trees that shoot up next to it, stretching to the heavens and standing strong, silent Shiva types that they are.

just smelling the fresh, clean, clear, crisp, almost-springtime air around my cottage is enough to bring tears to my eyes.

my heart is shouting, "I'm home, I'm home, I'm HOME!" and the trees and the flowers and the sky and the cottage and the gravel, everything around seems to be echoing and resonating back that same refrain.





Originally uploaded by alxindia.