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Friday, April 29, 2005

time is a crock, life is a dream...

someone in an online forum asked these questions the other day, and I so loved the questions that I thought I'd put them here, with the answers I offered up, off the top of my head.

Are there times when the time dissolves?
Have you ever witnessed another of your lives?
Ever had the experience of not knowing what, when, where and who you are?
What is your experience of when the veils come down and what does it look like to you???"


WOW, what a great line of inquiry. (where do folks come up with these great questions??????)

when I was young, ie, from childhood until, oh, yesterday (grinning) I was convinced that time is a crock.

I've said that since I was about 10 years old, emphatically.

time is a crock.

I used to drive people crazy because I keep all the clocks in my home and on my wrist running at slightly different times (all fast, just degrees of 'how fast' they are is the question) -- I always know what time it is, but I hate the assumed exactness of this contract we've all made with one another, a social consent, about 'time' when for me, fully, I don't ever remembering believing that it exists, at all, in the first place.

totally, I think there are times (grinning again) when time itself dissolves.

when I meditate, for example -- forget it. maybe I was 'out there' (in here) for five minutes, maybe several hours. I really don't know and can't gauge it. so that's pretty much a daily experience for me.

same with when I used to paint and compose music, and poetry. did it take five minutes? seemed like it! what do you MEAN three hours have gone by.....!????!!!!!

I've also noticed, when I was in India, that the days were far longer than days here in America -- I mean, each day stretched into a kind of eternity. things that had happened in the morning literally seemed like they'd transpired a month before, not the same day. most of the time, none of us knew what day of the week it was, let alone the date. days blurred into days and suddenly it would come to my attention that another entire month had gone by.

same with the miracle energy -- it's almost impossible to gauge time when a miracle is happening in front of your eyes, like a manifestation of some object out of nothing. did it take 30 seconds? 2 minutes? there is NO way to know.

time, in those moments, stretches so infinitely that it appears to join the silence of the absolute god energy...........

have I witnessed another of my lives? -- yes.

as to not knowing 'what, when, where and who you are?'

oh, man, I'm takin' the Fifth on this. (it happens all the time.)

my experiences of the veil coming down have been radically different at different times and with different appearances. I think -- from my experience -- there are different layers of 'veil' and when one dissolves for a moment, it's an extraordinary moment.

some experiences -- seeing the light in other people burning so strongly that I no longer perceive their individual faces or human forms. seeing a miracle so intense that the entire room is filled with particles of light. seeing divine forms standing in front of me and recognizing that I, too, am That.

I've seen the veil break away and what's behind it can be terrifying, intoxicating, thrilling, pure love... so many different qualities, in different experiences, at different times.

once I asked Kaleshwar, my teacher, what would happen if I got enlightened, how would I view the life I had already been leading, ie, my past, and all that had transpired, up to that moment.

his answer: "just dreams. it's just dreams. it will all seem like dreams."

(and don't forget: time is a crock. you heard it here, first...!)


  • At 12:16 AM, Blogger Faddah Steve Yuetsu Wolf said…

    "life is but a dream/if i could take you up to paradise up above/if i could tell you you're the only one i love/life could be a dream sweetheart/hello hello again/sh-boom! i hope we meet again.../"

    {big silly wolfish grin}

    so i read your post, now that you've returned stateside little soldier, and was quite delighted by this one. for a number of reasons.

    first of all, my zen teacher, kyogen, has often quoted a story in a number of talks he has done about the fact that standardized time across the u.s. and, indeed, across the continents of the earth, is something we only really started doing in the latter half of the 20th century, the rise of machines, atomic clocks, computers, what not. before that, say in the 19th century, say the was a small town with a big clock tower in a church, say, in the middle of a valley. they set their clock, say in summer, to be high noon at the time when the sun is at the highest point over their valley sometime in mid-summer. then next town over, say in another valley (not even another state or what we now refer to as time zones), has a totally different way to set the clock. so the whole concept of time was pretty fluid and given more to local convenience than necessity. it was only with the industrial revolution, trains, telegraph, and the need to have agreed upon schedules so that trains would not collide into each other (tho' they still did) that standardized time became a concept.

    and we all have seemed to have been chained to that concept ever since.

    and i think all that fits in very well with your "time is a crock" supposition. ;o)

    also, i think i told you at one point that when the last harry potter book came out, i waited in line with parents and children for its release at midnight at our local powell's bookstore here in portland. it was quite an event. people dressed up as witches and wizards. an old dumbledore-like character was reading from the book in the book store window, amplified with a microphone, for those waiting outside, etc. you'd think it was the opening of a new disney ride, and not a book being released. well, outside there was a pretty young blonde woman dressed as a witch, and her tiny young daughter ("cerdiwyn," i recall her saying the girl's name was), and she had spread out a silk to offer $10 tarot readings, which i thought was very appropriate to the event. i made arrangements with her to have her read my cards right after i got in to buy the book. i came back out and after another customer, she read my cards. well she was, to say the least, amazing. maybe the night was particularly magical with the release of the book and all and everyone dressed up and feeling so festive, but it was quite a reading. she had the juice, i can tell you. i won't go into detail but it was one of the few times someone reading my cards either wasn't doing gross and random generalities that could have applied to anyone, or knew me too well and was trying to jury-rig whatever card came up to mean things they'd prefer i change in my life. no. none of that. this woman, without knowing a thing about me, literally, psychically read my mail. she predicted very dead on not only all the stuff that i'd been experiencing at the zen center, but then identified and predicted all the things that were about to happen with my father (his impending death, at that time i had no idea would be diagnosed with lung cancer), etc. she also predicted at the end of the reading, that the outcome would be that i would have (get this, drum roll please... ), and i quote, "... a breakthrough in my concept of time and space," and this would change everything in my life. i would be happier than i could have ever imagined. and i would have a love that people would only dream of.

    of course, those last three things, i would have to say, have not materialized ...yet. ;o) in fact, some recent events with inter-personal woes have had me questioning about such things. but she was dead on about the rest of my life and my dad. so i just wait to see how the rest might manifest.

    one thing she suggested was looking at the way some people are studying the mayan calendar. a big fad/sub-culture community thing up here in portland. but first, i thought, well, to *really* grok the mayan calendar, i'd have to study *all* of mayan culture (much of which has been lost to us) to begin to understand how *they* were using their own calendar. and that just seemed like too much work. plus, to be truthful, from what i've seen and heard, the mayan calendar fanatics up here are just usurping yet another ancient culture's mysticism and putting their dominant anglo culture's spin on it. plus, it seems the reason most of them get together is to yadda-yadda-yadda about the mayan calendar, but what they really want as subtext is polyamory and group sex with each other. well, to be honest, bi- leaning towards lipstick lesbian sex. but the guys, of course, want to be in on that. and i don't know about you, but those lower chakra centers just ain't where i draw my spiritual center from nowadays.

    so i decided to explore time-space and my possible breakthrough in it in something much easier and with much less of a flavor of "white man's dominance usurping ancient people's culture." and that would be -- reading einstein and about relativity, quantum physics and string theory.

    i can't say i totally grok any or part of it. but it keeps fascinating me. and i think my key in is somewhere in there. i've been listening to the unabridged version of brian greene's "the fabric of the cosmos" now, where he gives a very good layman's overview of all physics from newton to einstein to quantum theory and now with string and m theories, which many look to as being the hope for grand unification theory, as a book on tape for over a year now, and i'm *still* only half way through it (keep re-winding and playing over sections going, "what? they saw electrons be two places at once in what situation???," etc.). but i really enjoy it.

    that, and yes, the timelessness of meditation. ah.

    good to have you back, little sister, and to paw and toss back and forth these ethereal balls of yarn, like two quantum cats, with each other.


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