altar of agnostic heresy

Jesus in Penukonda
Originally uploaded by alxindia

at seven years old the world
was still its own mystery;
fresh & shiny like a new penny
yet to be in circulation
& largely undiscovered
in its mad grimy detail.

living in the woods, then,
just like living in the woods now
except: closer to the ground
& trees waving taller
in the breezes.

mundane to you
was magic to me –
sunlight exploding from the tops of trees,
the rustling possibility of a rabbit in dry leaves,
infinite shades & qualities of dirt.

silent in Nature
there & only there
could I hear myself.

summer days, I sneaked away into the woods
earnest as a lover rushing, blushing, to a tryst
& found sublime nothing, after hours
& hours of not looking.

humming some fragmented
off-key tune, sprawling in the cool duff
at the base of an old & trusted comrade, oak by name,

playing at private ritual
as though by rote, invoking a dangerous freedom:

miniature golden Mary on the left,
surrounded by glitter & sequins,
or were they sunbeams? & noble Jesus,
no bigger than my fingertip,
robes flowing in brass tones, to the right.

hour after hour, until the sunlight ceased to play
through the sparse leafy roof

& twilight rendered
all things grey regardless
of their proper daytime tints,

the messiah & his mother came to life in my hands,
speaking volumes half-inaudible,

celebrated, initiated, praised, vowed, blessed,
blended into the roots of the complicit oak,

housed in fallen leaves arching cathedral-style
over their little metallic bodies flashing light…

& together with the sky
Jesus & Mary & I built
a tiny temple
in the dirt.

holidaze & spiritual technology

happy-christmas-face
Originally uploaded by alxindia

one of my Christmas items to be hugely grateful about this year is the website that keeps providing these hilarious kitty pictures to the world, every day. *snickering*

well, it's holiday time here in the Santa Cruz mountains. I really do love it -- all the homes along the otherwise depressingly darkened roads around here are lit up with lights and Christmas trees. it's mystical to come around a dark, rainy curve in the road and then see the happy, sparkling Christmas lights outlining a whole home, or its front porch, or front door, or whatever.

as we drive by, I keep hearing the phrase "there is a light in the darkness" in my mind, and it's incredibly uplifting -- keeps connecting me back to the Big Boss Jesus and why he came into this crazy planet.

we were talking with someone a few days ago about all of this ancient spiritual information that's coming, once again, to the planet after a 2000-year (or more) hiatus, through Sri Kaleshwar and what he's bringing. and what we're teaching.

I mentioned one system that's 7000-years-old, The Holy Womb Chakra, and that it's an ancient spiritual technology.

to me, it's no news that yoga is a science, and that the terms we use to describe spiritual information do sound mechanistic or technological -- we talk about the 'mechanisms' of creation, the 'soul science', and spiritual technology.

but I forget, sometimes, how unusual that sounds to folks who don't have a background in the Vedic knowledge, or in the spiritual lexicon, particularly, that I'm accustomed to.

so it was really cute when my listener giggled, and laughed at the idea of 'spiritual technology' -- in an appreciative way, as if the intelligence was dawning on her that there ARE spiritual mechanisms that can be learned, studied, parsed, and applied. just like, uh, material technology.

it was a great moment of seeing a perception shift in an interesting, and comical, and lively way. I really enjoyed it -- it's moments like that that sustain my inspiration and remind me how sacred and uplifting, how extraordinary and supernatural these tools and teachings really are. I'm delighted that it is my path in this life to represent them, and to share them.



**************
last piece of spiritual advice for today -- DON'T eat the f^%-ing tinsel, or you'll wind up looking like this Christmas kitteh!

spirit of christmas

spirit of christmas
Originally uploaded by alxindia

*grinning*

no words for this photo. just, uh, there are cream-puff days and then there are Maha Kali days.

one of my colleagues here refers to some kinds of troublesome, super-intense days as "Penukonda Days." as in, "geez, this was really a Penukonda day!" *chuckle*

that must be the ultimate in-joke of the cosmos, or at least on this planet. everyone thinks spirituality is this nice-nice, love-n-light process of getting sweeter and sweeter and more and more blissful -- and I've actually had folks tell me, with stars in their eyes, "you're so LUCKY to be living in such a calm, spiritual, peaceful ashram...!"

what to say? swallow mah tongue, nod, and smile, and don't roll the eyes visibly.

for anyone who's actually lived in Penukonda, or spent serious time there, every day is a century passing, as if whole lifetimes have been ground out and heaps of karmas have been reduced to a pulp, during the whole day when nothing, really, seemed to be happening.

one day in Penukonda can be an ultimately blissful, beautiful experience -- and at the same time it can seem like a total torture chamber, as we come face-to-face with people who are also in the same karmic pressure-cooker, and they become instruments of our own unfortunate karmas coming back to us as tests, taunts, challenges, arbitrary snarls, and outright insults.

some days, I literally felt as though I'd been battered and bludgeoned by people until I was black and blue.... and I'd crawl back to my room, exhausted by my apparent efforts at surviving the slings and arrows of what seemed like truly outrageous fortune...

and I'd look back on the morning's events (which now seemed like an eon ago), and think that something that occurred in the morning had been several weeks before. (yes, the time factor gets highly stretched and distorted in Penukonda... a curious attribute of the life there.)

I'd say to Jonathan, 'oh, you know, that thing we did last week," and he would grin at me and reply, "Alx!? that was THIS MORNING!"

omigawd!

some days here in America are really just like that -- "Penukonda days."

and this has to do with Christmas, how, exactly?

*grinning*

RAWRRRRRRRRRRRR!

it's the most wonderful time of the year....

Christmas Kitty 3
Originally uploaded by alxindia

well, between the 2-hour conference-call satsangs every Saturday morning, the 2-hour satsang (in person as well as on the phone) every Thursday night, the bhajans/kirtan performances, intensive teaching schedule (a workshop every weekend!), helping organize the travels of about 26 people to South India in early March -- including myself and Jonathan -- (!), doing personal healing sessions and online kibbitzing, uh, that was 'online satsang....' wasn't it?

*grinning*

and taking care of my own personal ninja twins, the ever-growing, ever-expanding black fluffy zen monks, Masters Pi and Li.......

yeah, I'm a little bit overdue for the Christmas vacation part!

(do we EVER get an actual break?

I used to joke, "I'll sleep when I'm dead".... but now, what with reincarnation and all looming on the horizon of reality, I realize even THAT sleep may turn out to be a myth.....)

anyway, tomorrow's my birthday -- am getting a Christmas tree!!!!!!!!!

wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

and will be spending a good deal of time trying to keep the Flying Ninja Brothers OUT of it, no doubt.....

since they, too, will think that they are superb and deserving ormanents....

Satsang Kitty

Satsang Kitty
Originally uploaded by alxindia

but...

what kitteh doesn't know...

ONLY EXIT IN.....!

can't... get.... serious......

Christmas Kitty 2
Originally uploaded by alxindia

I don't know what it is lately, but everything is so completely nutty (myself included) -- big huge dramas, up this way, down that way, wild energy running everywhere I look, relationships shattering or rearranging or imploding or exploding, our society going over a cliff of greed and blindness about totalitarian structures in place (but we have computer games, frozen pizza, netflix and hummers, so what is there to complain about?!?!) -- that I just can't take any of it seriously today.

ESPECIALLY all the Christmas hub-bub. and I'm a HYUGE fan of the Christmas season.

mostly I'm wanting to curl up in a ball in Frost Cottage, my little home in the redwoods, on the floor in front of the woodstove (fresh pot of chai brewing on the stove, all winter long), play with the Zen Masters Pi & Li, and do no other digital work AT ALL except occasionally surfing the internet at www.icanhascheezburger.com

in lieu of all that, of course, Jonathan and I are teaching and healing up to Christmas Eve. (thinking to attend Father Bob's midnight mass, at our local Catholic Church, if he's having one this year....... that's a fun thing to do, haven't been to a Catholic mass since Paris in 2001.)

and in raw defiance of human misery, heartbreak, suffering, depression, violence, abuse, pain of all kinds, war, and torture -- I'll be posting ridiculous photos of kitty Christmas shenanigans to inspire the Christmas spirit wherever they are viewed this season.

wait'll you see the one I've selected to send out as a major Christmas greeting card....................!

*evil cackle*