alxindia

resurrection

2011-09-13T12:01:00.000-07:00

so, it's been more than a year since I've posted anything to this blog -- a year of seismic shifts in my life, coupled with hard work, amazing healings & transformations, & divine experiences.

the UCBK temple in the Santa Cruz mountains is flourishing, with many healers being trained beautifully through the Sai knowledge coming out of India, expanding our reach into the local community -- not only through the successful Free Lunch Friday program we've been running through a local Catholic church for the last two years, but also through providing free healings for veterans, working in conjunction with the Unity Templeof Santa Cruz to perform music and share high healing blessings with the community there. it's truly an honor to serve and help out, however we can, from UCBK.

of course our regular schedule of teaching classes and workshops, offering healing sessions, kirtan concerts, and fire homas every full moon and new moon also continues.

all of these works were given a huge boost by a Sri Kaleshwar whirlwind visit to UCBK in April -- he stayed to give a beautiful talk to two student groups here, do an unbelievably powerful fire homa, and interact with the living Shirdi Sai Baba murthi.... and then, poof, he was gone to Northern CA to give a huge program to hundreds of students.

jai guru Datta!

... and so, I'm back, feeling revived, like posting more regularly to my little blog here on the net, and wanting to create more items that uplift, inspire, entertain and make people think more deeply, more spiritually, more lovingly, in this world.

belief systems great and small

2010-09-28T23:05:00.001-07:00

IMG_0099-m2
Originally uploaded by yatesdownes

I've been thinking a lot about belief systems, lately, and how they apply in the context of spirituality. and science. and the world we live in. and the experience of living.

can a person live free from belief systems, completely? there are those spiritual traditions who say, yes, one can.

often saints, avataras, Boddhisatvas, however we call the advanced enlightened souls who grace this planet from time to time, are pointed out as characters who may not have much of a belief system, since their consciousnesses are rooted in the Truth behind the illusion of this world, rather than in the everyday illusion of it.

that esoteric reality and way of expressing a beyond belief system state of functioning may sound as relevant to daily life as astrophysics, and so not warrant much inquiry or research.

but to an everyday person, trying to live a decent life with some peace of mind at the end of the day -- it's a highly relevant subject. belief systems are entwined into every experience we have, and our beliefs about things determine, to a great extent, the quality of those experiences.

"there is nothing either good nor bad, but thinking makes it so," Shakespeare tells us, through Hamlet, and there's an eternal truth in the phrase.

if I think that eating chocolate is a terrible thing (because all that's in my mind while eating it is the weight I'll be gaining later!) -- then it's a terrible thing. if I'm of the opinion that chocolate is a fantastic substance and something I very much enjoy -- then it's a good thing, to me.

the substance, the chocolate, is the same no matter what. it's my 'thinking that makes it so' -- one way or another.

Albert Einstein is quoted as having said, ""The most important decision we make is whether we believe we live in a friendly or hostile universe."

I imagine that's the primary belief system each human being has, at some point, to reconcile themselves with. once we have a working belief -- either way -- the rest follows from there.

the most difficult thing I notice about belief systems (except, possibly, for the result when good friends with strongly opposing belief systems argue) is that they are immensely limiting to the human mind, heart, and soul -- and most of the time, we don't even notice how rigid and boxed in we are with our beliefs.... because we're too busy believing them!

in terms of spirituality, especially, my experience and my strong opinion and feeling is that human beings are prone to sell themselves and this creation way too short. oftentimes, we constrict in the face of stuff we don't understand, or feel challenged by, or uncomfortable with, and find a million reasons to justify our constriction and rejection of something that frankly freaks us out, for whatever reason.

belief systems that start out as an honest and innocent assessment or experience of the world around us, and the worlds of ideas and possibilities we all inhabit can turn into rationalizations we use to cover up our feelings of heartbreak, cynicism, disappointment (with life or god or love or whatever), fear, insecurity, arrogance and egoism, or what have you.

"no, that's impossible!" how many times have you heard that uttered in a bitter voice, either by yourself or someone close to you? and how many times has that judgment turned out to be inaccurate?

human history is full of examples of rigid belief systems run amok, from the flat-earthers (faced with the shattering reality that the earth is, in fact, round!) to the Catholic Church persecuting Galileo for his upstart contention that it's the earth, not the sun, that revolves... to the idea that someone who demonstrates turning water to wine must be a trickster, a charlatan, or worse.

we don't even realize the depth of, and the attachment we have to, our cherished belief systems until they are challenged, either through conversation or experience, or a revelation of new information.

if you think back to a belief system you had that got shattered (maybe when you least expected it!), you may find that your reaction in the moment was less than might've been hoped for. (for sure, my aha! moments have often come at an uncomfortable price -- ie, my own comfort level being thrown out the window! -- and I'm usually kicking and screaming the whole way, flailing in my confusion or stubborn desire to hold on to my old way of thinking/believing about something or someone....) most of us are considerably less than graceful when the chips are down and our belief system just got lost to the house.

some people naturally enjoy having their minds truly blown -- and they're fortunate! others can develop a taste for having their belief systems crashed on a regular basis -- having lived through the growing pains of discarding old ideas in favor of newer, better ones... and seen how inspiring that transition can be, how uplifting, enlivening, and... even... enlightening.

I think one of the biggest challenges to the belief system in the world today is that people can, in fact, become enlightened souls -- individuals who cross the conventional barriers of time and space, through consciousness, and live to tell about it, who know what constitutes life, death, the soul, and beyond those states of being, and function from a state of unconditional love because nothing else, really, is left.

it's natural to think that we have certain limitations, but it's also ridiculous to assume that just because we think something isn't possible... it really isn't.

time and time again, I hear students and colleagues express enormous doubts about the possibility of stepping beyond the illusion to see what's behind it -- as though only 'special' people could have that experience, like Buddha or Jesus, or Ramana Maharshi -- but that they themselves aren't worthy or deserving or capable of such experiences.

why are we selling ourselves so short when it comes to the possibility of enlightenment? of spiritual experiences that do shatter the belief systems, ie, the miracles.

every human being has the same apparatus -- the same kind of physical body, the same kind of subtle energy body, the same chakras, the same inner vehicle for creativity and sublime clarity... in that sense, then, really, we are all created equal. what we do with our creation-ness after the point we enter the world, well, a good deal of that is in our hands. but we have the same chance, each one of us.

so why are we holding ourselves back? and dancing around with our limited belief systems? are we really so afraid, as Marianne Williamson famously shared, of our own power? of the unlimited capacity for light and beauty and truth and purpose that we each have, if we'd only let our own (Shrödinger's) cat out of our own bag of limits?

and if we really are so afraid of our own inner capacities.... to the point at which we'd rather do almost any other activity, including engaging in warfare and strife, in arguments and betrayals, rivalries and judgment, in order to avoid our real inner make-up... at what point are we willing to stop, sit down, take an honest assessment of ourselves to this point, and then realize that in all likelihood, we can't make it to a full discovery of who we are, and what we're really able to do and experience, without the help of someone who does know a lot more than we do?

never mind our ideas about religions, spiritual paths, gurus, this ritual or that ritual....

at what point are we willing to suspend our own disbelief -- about ourselves?!

South India in July

2010-07-19T00:36:00.000-07:00

I'm always amazed, every time I return to India, how much things have changed in a remarkably short time.

since February, the light-rail system in Bangalore (now called Bengaluru, its older name) has made leaps and bounds; track is visibly laid, a trial car was on the line near M.G. Road, much to the delight and astonishment of weekend family visitors to the Brigade Road area. I can't imagine how much work and diligence it takes to create infrastructure so rapidly.

bread and Italian coffee, too, seem to be enjoying an upswing in Bengaluru -- bread shops and bakeries seem to be popping up all over the place. and although my favorite cafe, Barrista, which formerly had about four different outlets around the M.G. and Brigade Road area, seems to have closed all but its main cafe (sad, because they had really great coffee drinks with Italian espresso), we found a new one a few days ago with yummy Italian roast. (Cafe Pascucci, with walls covered in photos of other Pascuccis worldwide: in Milan, in Moscow, etc.)

as the Westernization and infrastructure-building occurs in India, I'm noticing a reverse parallelism (lol!) in America: increasing numbers of Americans interested in Eastern spirituality, in knowledge from ancient India, for whom yoga or meditation has become a daily routine.

with all this exchange between East and West, industry and technology for spiritual depth, meditation and peace of mind, it seems that a real balance is being restored in the world (despite how markedly out of balance and bizarre things seem on the surface).

I think it was the great saint Paramahansa Yogananda who commented that East and West would indeed start to create this balance, as many souls who'd previously been living in India or other Eastern societies began to reincarnate in the US, and vice versa.

it's somehow reassuring to see, over the 11 years that I've been 'commuting' back and forth from California to South India, the pointed changes in both societies as a results of increased acceptance and input from the other.

Om Sai Sri Sai Jai Jai Sai

2010-06-07T19:43:00.001-07:00

Om Sai Sri Sai Jai Jai Sai
Originally uploaded by UCBK

it's been too long since I've written anything here...! things have been hectic, what with whirlwind visits to India, a full teaching schedule at the UCBK temple, kirtans, the weekly homeless/needy free lunch program -- and now Baba has come into the temple!

YES, the living murthi of the Big Boss, Shirdi Sai Baba, has finally come home to stay. he's about 3 and 1/2 feet tall, carved from basalt in India, weighing in at 350 pounds... and he's sitting in a beautiful lotus flower base (created from a combination of granite and cement by a local Santa Cruz sculptor).

this photo is from his celebration day... huge rose malas, fire homa at his feet, a formal abishek (bath) and a sweet day spent telling Baba stories, of the miracles he performed, the yogas he demonstrated, his temperament, his nature, his shakti and his greatness as a beggar-saint in the streets of Shirdi, in India.

it's a huge honor and a responsibility to have him here, finally installed in his proper place, watching over all of us and the whole area from his granite pedestal.

Jai Guru Datta!

soul hospital, soul doctor

2010-01-05T23:06:00.000-08:00

the concept of what a soul hospital really means has been in my mind for a while now, not allowing itself to slip out into words but forming and re-forming itself over time.

it's obvious, no, that a 'soul hospital' is the ward for wounded or suffering or injured souls? and that the relief in a soul hospital would be provided by 'soul doctors' or nurses, ie, those characters who are expert in analysing what ails a soul, and applying the proper medicine. or, if needed, surgery.

for a long time -- in fact, as I look back on it, for most of my life -- I was yearning to be a soul doctor but I didn't have a term for it, or a concretized concept. I wanted to help people, had an innate and intuitive feel for psychology and the depth in the hearts of others... but I really didn't understand, or even think about, the soul per se. it wasn't in my lexicon.

I wasn't even sure I believed there IS such a thing as a soul, exactly. (where is it? what does it look like? how come no one's ever seen it? how come I've never seen it?)

but still, the impetus was there to help others out of suffering.

since living in India, and so many years being in the presence of real soul doctors (spiritual masters who can diagnose the problem within seconds, see the entire soul graph of a human being's past and present and future lives, and fix what's needed to fix in order for that soul to regain its conscious spark, and to walk again with joy in the world) -- the concept of 'soul doctor' was fairly well evolved in my thinking.

I thought I had a clear handle on the concept.

but then Master Li, one of the black Ninja lion cats here at the temple I live in, had an unfortunate meeting with a car on the road, and was injured. (it turned out that despite all the shock and blood, he had merely suffered a broken jaw and a bad concussion.)

hanging around the vet clinic, which I did during visiting hours for several days, really opened my eyes to a whole new dimension of what a soul hospital might look like, or how it might -- pardon the pun -- operate.

the vet clinic where Li was treated is an emergency hospital, where injured and sick animals are brought in at all hours, every day and night, as well as a regular veterinary hospital by day.

while I was there, I observed numbers of dogs and cats brought in, in varying states of illness or injury or distress, and the staff scrambling to help them. I realized, in a half-dazed way, that there was something sublime about the place -- that no matter whether or not an animal was likable, or fierce, snarling or whimpering, the kind of dog or cat one prefers.... EVERY animal that came in there got a fair shake, the best treatment imaginable, by a team of folks who were completely committed to helping that creature regain its health and balance.

and I recognized the greatness of the Hippocratic Oath in that moment (do veterinarians take an animal version of it? a Puppycratic, or a Kittycratic, Oath?) -- either in human hospital settings or in the veterinary hospital I was becoming so accustomed to hanging out in...

that anyone who walks in the door is eligible for fantastic, professional, loving treatment simply because they walked in the door, in need, and they are still alive, and for no other reason.

there is no better or worse, no likable or unlikeable, there is no personal preference in an emergency room. there is simply no time and it goes against the professional ethic. there is simply treatment, the best it can be, for anyone who's come there for help.

and the folks working in the hospital, be it on an animal case or a human one, don't get to choose who they work on. they just do it.

"you exist, therefore I will help you."

this simple principle -- when I recognized its ramifications, spiritually, staggered me.

I realized how many preferences, ideas, judgments, thoughts and biases I have about the people who walk in my door for help. maybe I don't like this one's way of expressing himself, or I find the color scheme a woman wears a little laughable, or someone's laughter pattern is grating, or another's pettiness makes me disinclined to smile at them.....

and I realized that, as a soul doctor, working in a soul hospital (this temple of divine healing we call home here in the Santa Cruz mountains), I don't get to choose. I don't really get to have the luxury of my own preferences, likes and dislikes, penchants or momentary grudges about other people.

whoever walks in the door, I need to help them. it is that simple.

to be a soul doctor, one's heart has to be 'professional'... filled with unconditional love, enormous patience, a willingness to help no matter what, the capacity to ignore the strain or negativity coming out of someone who is hurt, desperate, lonely, or furious at life... and the right knowledge of the different medicines for each specific condition that a soul is suffering.

that kind of accepting, loving openness to all creatures, all beings, and all individuals, no matter what their state or situation may be -- I saw it in the veterinary clinic, so I know it's possible! -- this is really what I, as a budding doctor of souls, aspire to.

at least I can see, now, the road clearly mapped out in front of me, and what that destination looks like.

before I visited the veterinary clinic daily to see Li, I really didn't grasp this angle, this overwhelmingly beautiful and challenging angle, of the spiritual profession.

now I think about it all the time, daily, and strive to live up to the simple, innocent beauty of helping, really helping, whoever comes in front of me.

"you exist, therefore I will help you."

vegetarianism, or why the avoidance of eating flesh is a good thing

2009-11-30T13:13:00.001-08:00

llama
Originally uploaded by alxindia

a few people have asked me to write something about why I advocate a vegetarian diet, what its benefits are, how helpful it can be to the human system, especially for spiritual seekers, healers, or people on some kind of self-discovery path.

there are many reasons why I became a vegetarian (and I should qualify that I'm not a vegan, ie, I do eat animal products, especially dairy), ranging from practical health concerns to spiritual energy principles. I'll try to lay a few of them out, here, with the understanding that people are often highly charged about their diet, and the opinions of others regarding same.

I'm not trying to upset anyone, or challenge their habits, but I am definitely advocating a particular point of view, based in my own experience and what I've learned over many years of spiritual research and practice. I'm happy to inspire others to question the status quo of meat-eating, and to really examine their own inner feelings or beliefs about the necessity of consuming the flesh of animals and birds.

HEALTH RISKS associated with red meat
the first benefits that accompany a vegetarian diet are health benefits. many studies in the past (a quick google search will show these results) have shown that eating red meat can increase the risk of heart disease, and cancer -- in particular, colon cancer.

in Japan, for example, where the diet was largely fish and rice, there were few incidences of cancer of the colon -- but when the Japanese started adopting a heavy red meat diet, like Western industrialized nations, the numbers of colon cancer soared until Japan's stats match any Western nation, today.

recently, however, studies have expanded their scope and the results are even more dramatic: eating red meat can shorten your life. according to comprehensive study, conducted over ten years, people who ate the most red meat were 30 percent more likely to die from heart disease or any type of cancer.

links here

and NPR's story about the recent study here

it's clear that in our world, eating meat -- especially red meat -- carries serious health risks with it. people stop smoking because of the risks associated with that behavior, over time, and cut down on their alcohol consumption for similar reasons -- why not cut down on the levels of meat we consume, as well?

the London Telegraph story's headline (link above) reads, "Millions unaware of red meat cancer risk" -- it's not hard to make a leap between the lack of public information in circulation about the dangers of eating red meat, and the entrenched interests of the factory/industrial farming, meat-packing industries and fast food producers.

these industries are making billions of dollars from the consumption and demand for red meat -- in other words, they are making billions of dollars off of the ignorance of millions of people who simply don't know about the link between red meat and cancer (plus heart disease).

cigarettes at least come packaged with a warning label about the health risks associated with smoking. shouldn't red meat, as well?

which brings us nicely to the second reason to avoid eating meat: the environmental impact, especially on greenhouse gasses and global warming.

HARMING THE ENVIRONMENT by eating meat
A recent United Nations report title "Livestock's Long Shadow" concluded that the meat industry causes almost 40% more greenhouse gas emission than ALL the world's transportation systems -- that's all the cars, trucks, SUVs, planes and ships, in the world, combined. The report also concluded that factory farming is one of the biggest contributors to the most serious environmental problems at every level - local and global.

The majority of commercial destruction in the Amazon Basin -- destroying millions of acres of rainforest -- from the 1960s to the '90s has been performed by cattle ranchers and land speculators, burning enormous swathes of rainforest land in order to plant those areas with grass, for grazing animals like cows.

links here
and here, for more information about the environmental damage caused by meat consumption.

researchers have concluded that if an American changes his or her diet from meat-eating to vegetarian, it reduces more CO2 emissions than trading in a standard car for a hybrid! (are we willing to trade in our cars but not our burgers?)

ANIMAL TORTURE = meat on your table
one of the least-discussed aspects of vegetarianism involves the moral issues, and the ethics, around torturing and killing animals to eat them.

most animals that are consumed as food are not raised in nice little Charlotte's Web-like family farms, where they're allowed to run freely in beautiful pens, and fed nourishing food, and then quietly taken out back and put to death, with dignity, for a family feast.

the meat industry in America is just that -- an industry. in order to minimize costs, and maximize profits, animals killed for food are neglected, and tortured. many will never see the light of day; they are kept in dark little cages, unable to stand up, until they are slaughtered. the animals are kept in filthy conditions, inhumane in the extreme -- no one in their right mind would keep a pet, for example, in any conditions even approaching the feces and blood that are found on the floors of animal cages in the industrial world.

when it's time to kill them for meat, the animals are often slaughtered in painful ways, such as having their throats cut while fully conscious, or put into grinders while they are still alive.

the conditions under which these animals, millions of animals, from cows to lambs, turkeys to chickens, are kept and killed is barbaric in the extreme.

if you've never seen how your food is treated before it reaches your table, I highly recommend viewing the films available at this site...

when human beings are herded, tortured, murdered at large, we recognize it for what it is -- mass torture, and genocide. we are revolted by accounts of the killing fields in Asia, against concentration camps kept by Nazis in World War II Europe -- any human being of conscience would be, and should be, appalled by these kinds of atrocities. what's happening in the factory farms in our country, millions of animals being totured and destroyed daily, is a hair's-breadth of difference from those outrageous acts of violence and destruction we call genocide -- only now, perhaps, we can call it faunacide.

have we become so desensitized, as a culture, that we are happy to consume the tortured, brutally killed bodies of these animals without so much as a second thought?

which brings us to the spiritual issues about killing and eating animals as food, or why it's important to have more than just a second thought.

SUBTLE VIBRATIONS -- eating the fear
most of us in this world have absorbed the spiritual messages present in all traditions about the necessity of being kind to others, of loving other people as ourselves, of trying to help others wherever possible. whether we call ourselves Christian, Buddhist, New Age, or other spiritual paths, we have an underlying philosophy of some kind that suggests kindness to others.

yet, many spiritually earnest people have a lack of balance between their philosophy of kindness to others, while eating animals that have been killed as food. if we are all beings of the divine, including the animals (who do have souls, just as people do), how can we justify to ourselves - in our own hearts, in our consciences -- that it's okay to harm another being, simply for food?

when an animal is killed in a slaughterhouse, or is about to be killed, it is in total fear. they know what's coming, they smell it, and hear it in the line just before them. (depending on the slaughterhouse conditions, they may even see it just before it happens to them.)

the amount of adrenaline in the system of the animal right before it's killed is enormously increased. this adrenaline -- the by-product of pure fear -- creates toxins in the flesh of the animal, who is then killed... and those toxins are part of what we consume when we eat the animal.

is it really possible we can ingest those toxins, day in and day out, and not be affected by them?

I've heard spiritual masters say that the problem with eating meat is that we're eating the animal's attachment to its body, in the moment before it dies. in other words, we are consuming fear. we are eating fear. we are ingesting fear. and metabolizing it.

if we look at the levels of fear in our society, from national fears of terrorist attacks, to community fears ("is my town running out of water resources?"), to fears within families or relationships... to the ultimate fear we all face, the fear of death.

no matter how positively we try to think, often anxiety and fear wins the day in the human system. it can be exhausting, or overwhelming, leading to emotional problems like depression, addiction, sleep disturbance, and health problems.

at a certain point, I think we have to explore the possibility that the underlying fear levels in ourselves are linked to the vibrations inherent in what we've eaten. we're consuming frightened animals -- a lot of them. is it really possible that we can escape the tension and impact, in our own lives, from such an action? I don't think so.

what I've learned, in years of spiritual research and study (using my own experiences and those I've observed in others along the way), is that eating meat, because of the vibrations of fear and attachment in the animals, creates emotional instability, turbulence, and mood swings in human beings. we go on a roller-coaster ride of highs and lows when we eat meat -- the vibrational residue of that increased adrenaline, suffering, pain and fear of the animal causes a reaction in our own systems.

if we're constantly eating meat, we're not as sensitive to these ups and downs, or how emotionally intense they are -- maybe we consider arguing with family members or mates just a normal part of life, for instance, or depression is a daily struggle we deal with, anyway.

but when we create a little distance from our normal routine, enough to stand back and research it -- in this case, say, by avoiding meat for a few weeks and then eating it again, to see what happens! -- then we start to observe, if we're honest with ourselves, cycles and patterns of behavior that aren't peaceful, positive, easy, or smooth, especially in our interactions with others.

I had one vegetarian friend who kept a journal, for 3 months, of her partner's mood swings and the spats they got into, based on her meat-eating partner's cycles of eating meat. there was a one-to-one correlation between events of eating meat, and emotional outbursts or irritable behavior. when confronted with this journal, prepared with enormous love and detachment, the non-veg partner became convinced to try not eating the meat. an increased level of peace has prevailed in their relationship, since.

KARMA: the spiritual law of action-to-reaction
Eastern spiritual systems (and Christian, too, although it's more veiled in the Bible) embrace the concept of karma, action to reaction. "as you sow, so shall you reap." any time one creates a violence against other creatures, it does cause an equal and opposite reaction, in the fabric of this creation, the violence we support or enjoy (like by eating animals who've been tortured and killed), does impact on us and does come back to us in different ways.

animals are pure open-hearted creatures who only bless the human beings, even as we're destroying their lives. it's been said by many holy people that an animal shot by a hunter uses its dying breath to bless the hunter. it's like trampling flowers in a garden, destroying the peaceful fragrance and beauty of the flowers. who among us would do that and enjoy it? especially if it's not our own garden in the first place?

by eating the flesh of animals who've been tortured and killed for food, we're not only ingesting the violence and fear the animal itself was subjected to, but we're then carrying something of that same upset and negative vibrations in our own systems. by people continually participating in that cycle of mass torture and death to gentle creatures, continent-wide, we're actually creating more suffering and more violence, increased negative vibrations and more pain in this world.

if these are our actions, collectively, what kind of reactions can we expect to receive back?

if we want to be treated lovingly, and peacefully -- is it really possible we can elicit that reaction from our environment and nature, and the people around us, if we're not ourselves behaving in a loving, peaceful, harmonious fashion with our environment, and the creatures in nature?

FALLACIOUS OBJECTIONS to eating a vegetarian diet
-- one objection that folks who don't embrace vegetarianism like to bring up is the killing of plants and vegetables, as if it were on par with killing animals to eat. while it is perfectly true and demonstrable that plants and vegetables have feelings and responses to stimuli, it's not true that they're imbued with the soul's level of consciousness that a mammal or bird is. plants and vegetables, not having a third eye (nor do fish), are a different layer of creature in the spectrum of this creation. they represent a different phyllum, and it's considerably less of a violation of nature to pull a vegetable from the ground, or a fruit from a tree, to eat, than it is to torture and kill an animal.

-- another objection heard frequently is that there isn't enough protein to be found in a vegetarian diet to sustain a healthy life. this is a myth. there are many resources on the net providing ample information about protein, such as this one -- one can easily obtain enough protein to live beautifully, without once ever consuming meat. especially now that varieties of protein supplements are readily available, fake meat substitutes can be found in any health food store, and staples like beans and rice (which together form a complete protein) are plentiful in our society.

VEGETARIANISM in world religious texts

From The Christian Bible (Romans 14.21): “It is neither good to eat flesh, nor to drink wine.”

It is also established in the Bible (Isaiah 66.3), “He that killeth an ox is as if he slew a man.”

In Hinduism, the Vedic text of the Manu-samhita (5.45-8): “He who injures innoxious beings from a wish to give himself pleasure never finds happiness, neither living nor dead. Meat can never be obtained without injury to living creatures, and injury to sentient beings is detrimental to the attainment of heavenly bliss; let him therefore shun the use of meat.”

The Buddhist scripture (Sutta-Nipata 393) advises: “Let him not destroy or cause to be destroyed any life at all, or sanction the acts of those who do so. Let him refrain from even hurting any creature, both those those that are strong and those that tremble in the world.”
It is also said in the Buddhist scripture, the Mahaparinirvana Sutra, “The eating of meat extinguishes the seed of great compassion.”

For Jews, the Talmud (Avodah Zorah 18) forbids the association with hunters, not to mention engaging in hunting.

Orthodox leader St. Basil (320-379 A.D.) taught, “The steam of meat darkens the light of the spirit. One can hardly have virtue if one enjoys meat meals and feasts.”

John Wesley, (Founder of Methodism and Wesleyanism.)
"Thanks be to God!" he wrote to the bishop of London in 1747. "Since the time I gave up the use of flesh-meats and wine, I have been delivered from all physical ills." Partly inspired by Isaiah's vision of the Kingdom of Peace, where "on the new earth, no creature will kill, or hurt, or give pain to any other" (Is. 11:6-9), Wesley further taught that animals "shall receive ample amends for all their present sufferings."

FINALLY, in America alone...
If everyone went vegetarian just for one day, the U.S. would save:

* 100 billion gallons of water, enough to supply all the homes in New England for almost 4 months

* 1.5 billion pounds of crops otherwise fed to livestock, enough to feed the state of New Mexico for more than a year

* 70 million gallons of gas -- enough to fuel all the cars of Canada and Mexico combined with plenty to spare

* 3 million acres of land, an area more than twice the size of Delaware

* 33 tons of antibiotics.

the quest: to love or to be loved

2009-11-02T11:57:00.001-08:00

angelsfade2
Originally uploaded by alxindia

I'm ruminating today on what a spiritual journey (over a few decades, now) has been like, in my life. in the early years, I was suffering from extreme heartbreak, depression, real trauma from family circumstances and abuses.

my primary motivation in life was to be loved; there seemed to be such a lack of love, cumulatively, in my own experience, everywhere I turned. toward that end (wanting so desperately to be loved), it was easy for me to extend friendship and love to people -- but underneath the very real and warm feelings of affection and caring, there was often an undercurrent, an edge, of selfishness, of manipulation, of being loving and accommodating and understanding and kind out of a desire to be treated reciprocally.

it's a painful moment, to recognize that the majority of one's actions, seemingly loving on the surface, are motivated from internal pain and a nagging sense of a lack of love.

that was a huge wake-up call for me, in my mid-twenties, that left me reeling. having identified that overwhelming tendency in myself, it was almost too painful to examine, to look at clearly, to admit -- and yet, having seen it, I couldn't then un-know it.

I think many people -- not all -- come to spirituality and seek a spiritual path out of that desire to love and be loved. something is missing in their lives, in their experience of living and interacting with others -- something just under the surface facade of daily life is disappointed or yearning for love.

looking back, I'm convinced this was a primary motivation for me to (reluctantly) seek a spiritual life. I had survived my youth and upbringing, and my turbulent, dramatic twenties -- and I was more interested in finding out what thriving, rather than just surviving, might feel like.

fast forward to now, in my early forties, having spent so many years on an intense spiritual path, living a good portion of the last decade in South India (at an ashram), and I realize that the constancy of that yearning for love and understanding has pretty much dissolved. it is no longer an urgent longing, a theme in my daily life and interactions, like is was before: "oh, but you're not UNDERSTANDING me!" "but I just want to be LOVED!!! why is that so difficult?"

and my insight today (certainly not a new idea, the Sufi poets have talked more eloquently than I on the subject) is this: it's like a fish in the water.

the desire for love in our lives, although natural, means that we're not perceiving how much we are loved by the divine (in, through, and around us).

the fish in the water doesn't identify how wet the water is, he's simply in it. (the Sufi saying is "the fish in the ocean's not thirsty.")

similarly, we're surrounded constantly by divine love but don't feel it, mostly, as such -- we feel the illusion of separation from it. and then yearn for that love, and spend our lives pursuing it -- but it's already with us! has always been with us! can never NOT be with us, except in our perception of it not being there.

a few years ago, when I was in and out of this awareness, sometimes swinging into those moments of forgetting, and thinking, "oh, but I just wanna be LOVED!" inevitably St. Francis of Assisi's famous prayer would come into my mind as if written in neon lights:

"O Divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled as to console;  to be understood as to understand;  to be loved as to love."

Francis' statement is so bold, so courageous -- grant that I can love more than I am, myself, loved.

to take those words seriously and try to live to them is creating a kind of revolution, on a fundamental level, in terms of how we perceive ourselves, truly, and perceive our interactions/relationships with others -- and how, finally, we perceive our connection with god.

if we truly see/feel/perceive/recognize how deeply the divine is with us, in every moment, in every circumstance, in every breath, in every molecule in our make-up, in every waking or sleeping state -- then we are experiencing the depth of god's love constantly.

and god's love isn't selfish, god isn't sitting there mourning a lack of love -- god IS love. as children of god, ourselves, we are endowed with the identical capacity of love: boundless, flowing, unconditional, pure love in all directions, at all times.

the trick is, how to ask, like St. Francis, not so much to be loved, but to love. Francis is essentially asking to become like god is: purely loving.

it sounds so easy but the leap of faith required, the leap of surety in god's love -- it can take a lifetime to make that jump. it seems like having to leap over a whole life's worth of suffering, of selfishness, of a chasm of belief systems and limitations that simply aren't working any more but are too familiar to just jump over. it's like jumping over a gaping canyon of our fears. and it is, initially, frightening to survey that chasm and even consider a leap like that.

spiritual work, it seems to me, constant practice and sadhana and meditation and sacrifice and honesty about our limitations and service to others -- is preparing us, systematically, to make that leap into unconditional love.

by the time we've done so much work, over time, with faith and patience being tried to the extreme -- that leap isn't monumental at all, over a giant gaping chasm of self-doubt and yearning for love, but it's like making a peaceful, natural step up into the front door of god's home (where god has been waiting, just waiting, to welcome us, all along).

because that doorway into god's home? it's the doorway into our own home, our own divine heart.

a little cheerleading for the UCBK Temple

2009-09-30T14:23:00.001-07:00

Baba temple 6-09
Originally uploaded by alxindia

it seems like eons since I've blogged, so sorry, dear readers.

it's impossible to describe how much activity has been going on at the church, here in Bonny Doon, California, over the last few months. in addition to the full range of classes and workshops and healings and concerts and special events we offer, we've had crews of dedicated seva (service, ie, volunteer) folks doing amazing work on the land.

a whole group of giant (and I do mean giant) redwood trees came down out of the NE of the property -- a number of guys with chainsaws and guide wires and tensely held breath as 160-foot-plus trees came thundering down across the slopes.

crews have chopped firewood, dug up the flagstones around our huge patio area and replaced them much more securely, moved the fire pit from its temporary home in our NW to a more permanent location in the SE.... the deck got sanded and stained, which it sorely needed....

and just as all this activity was coming to a close, we began the Navarathri, the Nine Days Of Mother Divine celebration. this meant a fire ceremony every day to different aspects of Mother, as well as groups of people coming to the temple to attend those fires. quite a journey, in the high energy.

there are days when we're all so immersed in the flurry of divine work here that there is literally no time to scope back and really observe what it is, how it feels, what the experiences are, and so on.

there are other days, and moments in those days, like today, when I am purely awestruck at the work going on here in this temple in the mountains of Santa Cruz. there are many many moments where I'm literally stunned at what's happening, and can't fathom, with my natural mind, how it's all come together.

seeing crews of joyful people working hard to support a divine undertaking often causes my heart to well up with immense gratitude and humility. there's a real understanding growing in me that not any single person could ever succeed in creating something of spiritual value to others by themselves. it is impossible.

but together, with souls working toward a common purpose, with a common vision (however haphazard or scattered that vision seems in the beginning), the great Organizer manages to create whatever greatness It wants, to express god's truth and beauty in this world.

being a part of such an enterprise yields more wealth than I ever imagined. it's completely humbling, and at the same time, lends an incredible confidence to everything I'm engaged in -- because I know that I'm not doing any work, however large or small-seeming, alone.

thanks, everyone, who's helped so much at UCBK over the last several months! it's a beautiful odyssey we're all making together.

super-stars who stop shining.... unnecessarily

2009-07-16T08:00:00.000-07:00

I keep thinking about the death of Michael Jackson, and the painful circumstances leading up to it (drug abuse, health issues, etc.) -- and the thing that stands out the most for me is the avoidable tragedy of his suffering and death.

after 10 years of teaching effective de-charging techniques to people all over the world, I'm stunned that so few stage performers, in any discipline from drama to dance to music, at any level, amateur or international star, have access to this information or any understanding of it.

anyone who performs in front of audiences is picking up the collective energy of that audience -- I think most performers are somewhat, at least, aware of this phenomenon and the feeling of electricity, of a kind of a buzz, it creates in their systems.

what most performers miss, though, is how much of an intense overload to the human energy system this collective energy response is.

I've talked to musicians over and over again about how they feel after a show -- the 'high' feeling that accompanies post-performance time -- and they mostly say they enjoy the high feeling (even though they often can't sleep for hours afterwards, and/or run straight to the bars for a stiff drink or two in a vain attempt to balance that energy overload that is running amok in their system).

they don't seem to get the simple idea that this energy 'high' is an indicator that an energy overload is there.

that, over time, that energy overload -- composed of all the stresses people are releasing as they relax and enjoy the show, their thoughts and admiration but also their jealousy, projection, desire, and whatever else people are experiencing when being entertained by a live performer -- builds up and starts to cause problems, health, emotional, psychological, addiction, etc., in the human system.

there isn't a performer in the world who can withstand that kind of constant barrage of energy from large audiences without taking some kind of hit from it, over time. maybe their marriages dissolve, maybe some illness shows up, or a mental condition like anxiety or depression, or maybe, like in the case of Michael Jackson, they simply can't sleep.

having been a performer myself, and experienced the symptoms of that post-performance 'high', I can say with surety it's a problem over the long-term.

that post-performance hyper-ness is a clear indication that one needs to decharge that energy, to have an effective means to release that energy back into nature, and not to have to be burdened by it -- or, worse, metabolize it so that it becomes an integrated part of a person's on-going system.

(then it takes a lot more than mere decharging to again help that stuff dissolve.)

the real tragedy of Michael Jackson's troubled life and death, to me, is that those unfortunate circumstances were, over decades of build-up, completely avoidable.

philosophical Q & A today

2009-03-31T11:02:00.000-07:00

an online friend and I were having a discussion about spirituality and philosophy, and the beauty of love versus the mind... so I thought I'd post a part of it, my response to a question he asked, here.

Q: how can philosophical reasoning be a cornerstone to an open mind and spiritual understanding?

A: I'd much rather talk about dissolving.... but, okay, sigh, back to the mind stuff.

philosophical reasoning CAN be (isn't, necessarily) the cornerstone to an open mind because it subjects the mind to more than one point of view about how the world operates. like, building the muscle of the mind to flex in many directions, to be, as it were, flexible. also, philosophy asks questions, the critical questions, about the purpose of human life, etc., which are pretty much the identical questions spiritual characters also pose -- so the overlap is there for the taking.

the other point about philosophical reasoning is that it allows for questions without definitive answers -- ie, 'we don't know everything there is to know'. to my mind, that's a healthy basis for creating an open mind.

however -- I don't think that an open mind alone will lead to a deep spiritual understanding. that requires a leap of something beyond the mind, and definitely in a realm where thoughts are not the most prevalent characteristic. it takes heart, and intuition, and guts, and -- that ineffable quality of adventurous humility, ie, I really don't know but there are mysteries and I want to discover what lies behind them, even if the reality I discover totally blows my human mind.

I studied with one of the top British empiricist philosophers, an avowed atheist his whole life, great colleague of Bertrand Russell and friends with George Orwell and the like -- logical positivist. when he was in his 70s, he had a near-death experience that suddenly shattered his whole life's belief system that there was nothing after death, and seriously brought his atheism into doubt.

so -- the philosophical meanderings can also turn rigid, into posturing and a solidification of belief systems, like any religious dogma. at the same time, if one has a direct experience that completely challenges the belief system -- or overturns it, even for a brief instance.... having had a philosophical background can, I think, help one accept that something mystical just happened rather than some superstitious hocus-pocus of self-hypnotism.

the biggest challenge of all, I think, is not an open mind, but having an open heart -- and I doubt that philosophy can teach that quality.

just two rupees on the subject as a former philosophy student.

oh, and a last word on the subject from the immortal Bard, from Hamlet:

"There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio,
Than are dreamt of in your philosophy."

a facebook story

2009-03-14T13:33:00.001-07:00

Baba altar
Originally uploaded by alxindia

since traveling to India and back during this February and March, there have been many high divine experiences and healings I've been involved in, but this is a story I really want to share by way of an example of the universality of the divine energy, and how interlinked, interwoven, interrelated, all souls are -- whether people have ever met one another in person, or not.

I came on Facebook almost a year ago, because a number of folks I went to college with, in the '80s, were on and wanted me to join the party.

so I did, and was amazed at how many of my former colleagues from Bard College (in upstate New York) were on Facebook.

over the months, I've become friends with a lot of people I barely knew in those days, and renewed friendships with folks I did know.

but -- one lady wrote on her profile about a week and a half ago that she needed prayers.

and then sent a message asking for same.

well, my ears pricked up -- that's something of a department I recognize, more than debates about good beers, bbq sauce, or clubs in NYC.

she lives in Athens, Greece, and we knew one another in passing at Bard, probably exchanged about 5 sentences over the years.

so -- she's asking for prayers, and it turns out that the dearest person in the whole world to her, a first cousin, who's 26 years old, is dying from Hodgkin's disease, coupled with pneumonia

he'd been at stage IV for nearly 12 years.

unimaginable.

anyway, she was really upset and it looked bad. she sent me a photo of her cousin, and I started (from India) sending distance healing for him. to him.

and talking to her about, well, maybe she needs to prepare herself to let go.

it was pretty obvious he was on the way out. and had really suffered a long time.

we talked a bit about the soul, what happens at death, why it's important that people close to a person who's died don't hold on to them, or be overly sad -- it impacts on the soul, causes it some pain. it's off to a much happier place, is finally free.

the best thing we can do for someone who's died is to wish them well, and to send our love. and not to be sad, or attached, to them staying in their physical form.

anyway, she then mentioned that people from all over the world were sending their thoughts and blessings to her cousin, and that she would go to the hospital (she hadn't been able to, has fragile lungs herself and it's a danger to her own health) and read their messages to him.

so I sent something, can't even exactly remember what, but along the lines of 'you don't know me but I'm an American lady traveling to California from India, via Paris, and thinking of you, a Greek boy I've never met in person, and I'm grateful to have this chance to 'meet' you.'

I continued to send healings, from India, from Paris, and then from California, to him.

anyway, she called me two days ago. he'd died peacefully, and the funeral was over, and she wanted to reach out to someone.

she wept and told me that Taso had always wanted to travel the world, but had been unable, because of his health, to do so.

she talked about going to his bedside, and reading the messages from all over the world, all her friends sending him love and blessings.

and she said, "I'm really calling to thank you for sharing the message that you did.he was very frail, his eyes were closed and he was having a hard time breathing.

but when I read your message, Alx, he woke up, his eyes flew open, and he listened intently. he was stunned that an American woman he'd never heard of would send love to him in the midst of traveling."

and she said -- crying -- "because of you, he got to travel the world. your note took him with you!

and he died, peacefully, the very next day."

of course I was teary-eyed, too by the time the conversation came to that point.

it was so beautiful, to feel the peace of that soul, and to imagine a few stray words typed in an email message could cause a dying man to open his eyes wide and listen, really listen, to the shakti and the blessing that was imbedded in those words. and to receive it, that blessing to his soul, before dying a peaceful, serene death.

and that's my healing story for today.

I'm grateful to be able to share it.

poem today...

2009-01-29T00:32:00.001-08:00

altar of ensemble-ness

it’s in the wind tonight,
a voice about the stage
& how playing together

is a serious art form
looks so simple
when really done well

but simple is not easy
& good ensemble casts
have to figure out what family is

before trying to come onstage
together in a show:
a show of – comedy?

a show of unity?
first we need to show one another
how each of us knows our lines,

is well-prepared in our role
to play the character we’ve been assigned
& then we need to forget

ourselves completely.
the only job now is to interpret,
to enjoy, & to make the other actors

look better than they possibly can.
onstage during a performance,
everyone is a star.

how much we help others shine
while forgetting our own beaming glory –
that is the real act, the true role, of light.

(c) Alx Uttermann, 2009

change has finally come

2009-01-22T01:08:00.000-08:00

like a breath of fresh air.....

I spent all day yesterday, January 20th, watching the inauguration of President Barack Hussein Obama with speechless joy and stupefaction. I got up at 6:00 a.m., no fun being on the Left Coast of the US at these kinds of moments! (esp considering I went to bed at 3:00 a.m. the night, excuse me, the morning, before -- too excited to sleep, really.)

all day -- literally all day -- I was glued to the coverage, watching the whole thing from start to finish... thrilling every time a commentator said, "President Obama" -- like needing to pinch myself to see if I was really awake and experiencing this, or asleep and dreaming.

wow.

I think Wordsworth phrased these kinds of ecstatic moments best when he wrote to his good friend, Coleridge, in a huge long poem called "The Prelude" --

my dear friend
need I say
that to the brim
my heart was full...

I made no vows
but vows were then
made for me.

beyond that, it's late, again, I'm tired, and -- well, I have no more words except yes.... we........... did!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Gaza, Israel, and peace above all...

2009-01-13T15:52:00.000-08:00

my mood today is this:
http://www.blogger.com/img/blank.gif

I did a little bit of graphic work for this organization, Neve Shalom Wahat Al-Salam, in my early 20s, in Los Angeles.

meeting one of the amazing Israeli women who organized this experimental community in Israel where Jewish and Arab families raise their children together, speaking both Hebrew and Arabic, learning the history and cultures of both peoples, and standing for peace and understanding above all else -- well, it had a huge impact on me, in my formative youth. that woman's extreme courage, and dedication, and bravery in the face of a social order where chaos, fear, violence, paranoia and prejudice are more the norm was astonishing to me.

anyway, this excerpt from another woman, an American Jewish lady living at Neve Shalom and standing for peace and understanding, moved my heart today beyond words.

new Baba murthi!

2008-12-05T20:05:00.001-08:00

new Baba murthi!
Originally uploaded by alxindia

and of course, the next photo has to be of this guy. the beautiful, amazing Baba murthi (living statue) arrived just a few days before we had our first official retreat in the new temple facility -- it took 5 guys to wheel him on a dolly. he is 350 lbs of Baba.

we are unbelievably blessed and lucky to have this avatar of Dattatreya grace the SW corner of our new temple. it really is his home, not ours. we are just guests in his lila, players on his stage.

the next step -- getting him inside the main temple!

aha! photos back.....

2008-12-05T20:01:00.001-08:00

front door - an Om with a view!
Originally uploaded by alxindia

and of course the first photo would be of the new UCBK temple....

here's our front door - an Om with a view!

Rumi on suffering

2008-12-01T11:21:00.000-08:00

Whatever the blow that arrives from heaven
Wait to receive a robe of honor afterwards:
He is not a King who thrashes you and then
Does not give you a crown and a throne to rest on.
The world is worth less than the eye of a mosquito,
Yet for a single blow there is infinite reward:
Take from your neck now the world's golden collar,
Receive with no protection the blows God sends.
Didn't the Prophets receive blows on their necks?
That pain is what forced them to hold their heads high.
Never abandon your innermost core even a moment
so the Beloved will always find you at home.
Otherwise, He'll remove His robe of honor and say,
"I came to see him Myself, and found no one in."

-- Rumi

new temple in Santa Cruz

2008-11-17T15:10:00.000-08:00

yikes, it's been months since I've posted any blog entries here.

(so sorry!)

mostly it's due to two factors -- the first being that flickr, the photo-sharing service I use to post images to this blog from on the net, has joined up with yahoo and now I can't access my flickr account until I sort out what yahoo password I have... and it's a big mess. I like to post with photos, rather than just text, so I've avoided trying to untangle the yahoo/flikr labyrinth and the net result is that I haven't been blogging at all.

please forgive!

the second factor is the packing and moving and unpacking and setting up a new temple, a real teaching and healing and meditation center -- at long last! -- in the Santa Cruz mountains.

my mate Jonathan and I started an organization called The Universal Church of Baba's Kitchen more than a year ago, and have been looking for a facility to create a retreat center in since 2006. because of vaastu constraints (we can't occupy a place that has anything less than stellar vaastu, or Indian feng shui), we've looked at about a hundred different places in our local area... and all of them were rejected.

anyway, after years of looking, we've found a beautiful place and moved just a couple of weeks ago, from an 800-square foot cottage in the redwoods to a giant temple (well, it sure seems giant to us!) on 1.6 acres of a mountain-top (still with redwoods) in a beautiful town on a beautiful mountain called Bonny Doon.

photos of the move, the new place, and the first few classes can be found here on my friend Carmen's flickr site....

enjoy!

India in July

2008-07-26T10:50:00.000-07:00

I haven't been blogging lately, reliably, because so many astounding events have been occurring in my life and the spiritual lives of the people all around me, and leaving very little time to write about them.

having just returned from a July trip to India, however, I do recognize the need to say a few things about the intensity and spiritual beauty of this experience and am delighted to share it with my faithful readers here.

so, a whole group of us, about 100 altogether, from the SF Bay Area and Los Angeles, and other parts of the USA, all Maheshwari Process initiates (a spiritual process leading to the in-person meeting, or darshan, with the Mother Divine directly), traveled to South India, in July, to celebrate the Guru Purnima time in a powerful spot called Penukonda.

Guru Purnima is a highly auspicious time -- the full moon of the Guru -- when any guru can receive astounding blessings, full spiritual clearances and permissions to give energy and information, to the students. the energy channels to any guru's lineage, or guru parampara, are open at that time and the students of any master who asks for huge blessings are the lucky recipients of this time.

many of the students involved from America had already proved the divine energy channels and sadhana to receive the in-person meeting with the Mother Divine in a divine form. we joined a few hundred OTHER students of this lineage in Penukonda, from Europe, from Japan, and other parts of the US and Canada, who had also had the experience of seeing the Mother Divine in person.

it was a real gathering of modern spiritual masters in the making!

the whole time together in India was a week or so -- but it was really a situation where each day was an eternity.

I hope to write up different aspects of the Guru Purnima week in South India, as it progresses (and I find the time to account for it all!) -- but here is a taste of the high divine miracle day of Guru Purnima itself:

we did a MASSIVE amazing spiritual ceremony -- actually, a few! -- on the Guru Purnima day, including getting up at 4:00 a.m. to bathe the living statue of Shirdi Sai Baba here in the ashram, with sandal paste that all the students had been grinding from sandal wood into sandal paste for days and days and even around the clock on the last day, to get two buckets of it ready for the Guru Purnima day.

it was so beautiful!

we bathed him in milk and rosewater, and the sandal paste.... unbelievable, how high those vibrations are.... when you wash a divine statue, you're really washing your own karmas, your own soul.

on this day, though, it really felt like washing the whole world.

then we had a HUGE fire homa, a fire ceremony, a powerful Mother Divine ceremony called a Chandi yagyam (or fire homa) -- it went on for a few hours, burning and transforming all the negativity into high positive vibrations.

this fire homa was the first one ever hosted in a place on the ashram where Jesus Christ left a powerful object, and his energy is growing and spreading from that place -- so it had a special significance, not only accessing the Divine Mother but also Jesus' blessings and energy.

then that Alahala Lingam -- I think people have seen the video of it on www.kaleshwar.org -- if not, it's well worth witnessing!!! -- came out of the ground one last time.

a whole crew was digging all day (it was buried about 9 feet down in the ground) to bring it back out, carefully.

it is millions of years old, manifested by Shiva, God the Father, but given to the Mother (in the ocean) for safe-keeping. inside the lingam itself is a liquid, the alahala, the poison from the previous yugas of karmas performed by humanity.

many divine souls including Jesus Christ have carried that particular Shiva Lingam in their physical presence on the earth (the Buddha had it, too). it is a supreme power object on this planet, really helping accelerate the supernatural healing and the divine awareness and awakenings that are happening in the world and will be continuing to happen, with god's grace.

we all got initiated by that Shiva Lingam, literally touching it -- before it went back into the ground to remain in the earth for a few centuries, activating on the human consciousnesses from there.

it was so powerful everyone was reeling.

when I looked around the cafeteria (we had dinner directly after that initiation and while the lingam was being recovered into the ground again by the digging crew), I could literally -- I'm not exaggerating! -- look at all of the people who were assembled there -- there was so much light around them all it was hard to see straight. like, really, blinded by the light of the collective souls in that cafeteria -- everyone was shining so brightly.

so, I'm awestruck, speechless, grateful, to be in a front-row seat and participating in this divine drama that is spreading out high positive healing and vibrations to the whole world from this radiant power spot, Penukonda.

it has been a massive, world-wide transmission of energy and healing, and I'm looking forward to seeing what the next unfolding steps in this incredible divine journey will be, personally, for me in my life and also for the collective family of high souls who've received this energy and will be carrying it into the world at large and blessing all souls with this divine light.

namaste!

a conversation in miracles

2008-03-30T12:32:00.001-07:00

Jesus in Penukonda
Originally uploaded by alxindia

Q: I have heard the message that healing and special miracles bring hope and inspiration to people, although, as I would see it, not necessarily truth.

A: it's a good point.
of course miracles DO create hope and inspiration in people.

but I think those who hold this point of view only are missing the mechanism of the miracles. the creation of hope and inspiration is really secondary to the real impact/effect of seeing a miracle (on the scale we're discussing, like raising the dead, changing one thing to another, manifesting stuff, etc.) -- the real impact of witnessing a supernatural miracle is that the soul of the person seeing it starts to remember its own divine, miraculous capacity.

you can call it like a jump-start to the soul. a miracle of the scale we're talking about (like raising the dead, turning water to wine, etc.) breaks the mind, for even a few seconds.

the first time I saw something manifested out of nothing -- which I really didn't expect to see in this lifetime, I thought this stuff happened to 'other people' -- it was a handful of ash pouring out of the palm/fingers of an Indian healing saint. my mind was thunderstruck! for a split second, I thought it was a trick, you know, like the ash was up his sleeve or something.

in the next second, once that impulse faded and something deeper inside me grasped the fragrance of the creation energy that was unfolding like a microcosm of the whole creation process -- something was formed from thin air, and then dropped, a whole pile of ash, in the upturned palm of my hand..... my mind just dissolved on the spot and what remained was an inexplicable bliss.

that kind of miracle -- from one angle -- is a spark that re-ignites the (mostly forgotten) flame of the human soul.

so, from that perspective and experience -- which I've been blessed to have on many, many occasions over the last 10 years -- the miracle energy actually DOES point to the truth, or rather, it imparts a fragment of the soul's own truth (its inner divinity and creation capacity) back to the person who witnesses an outrageous miracle.

after that opening, it's up to the person who witnessed such a thing to develop that jump-start. to fan the flames, as it were. otherwise, it was a powerful invitation to see the inner truth, but the mind's doors will snap shut after a while and the remembrance of the soul will fade, again, into the fog of forgetfulness that is the human condition.

we forgot where we came from, what we really are.
the miracle allows -- for a split second or a few minutes -- a glimpse back into that truth. for a moment, it's abundantly clear where we came from, what we really are.

that is profound.

Q: You've suggested that there is a certain knowledge that makes understanding and performing miracles possible for everyone. That goes quite a large step beyond just admitting that "miracles" are possible.

A: yes, it's an outrageous claim, isn't it!?????????!!

but it's also true.

there are exact formulas, exact knowledge, divine knowledge, about how to perform miracles (which really means, understanding the creation energy, the divine energy and how it differentiates itself into souls, forms, beings).

the ancient saints -- from thousands of years ago -- wrote these formulas down. mostly they've been kept secret for millenniae, out of the hands of people who might mis-use the information, which came directly from the angels, the agents of the divine who shared such knowledge with certain human beings.

every great saint that we can name, from any tradition, knew these exact perfect formulas for how to access the god energy that is flowing in the Five Elements of creation (the earth, fire, sky, water and air), in nature, in the sun and the moon, in the human souls, and in the angels.

they knew, step by step, how to communicate in person (I mean, not in visions, but eyes open) with god the Father and god the Mother Divine.

these things aren't just a product of faith -- ie, if I have enough faith, a dead body will come back to life.

they're not just a product of love -- even though universal love is a key component in applying the miracle energy (without the love, how could one possibly bend the creation?) -- if someone comes to me dying of a heart attack, is my love alone really enough to heal them on the spot?

no.

I need a vehicle through which to IMPLEMENT the divine love that is always flowing, always accessible -- I need to know the mechanisms of how Love itself becomes a soul, becomes a healthy body rather than an ailing one, becomes water rather than dirt, breath rather than blood.

from my own side, this is what I spent so many years, researching on, in India -- witnessing many miracles (including the ones listed above, like the ones Jesus performed during his lifetime), and doing the hard work to learn the formulas that underlie the miracle energy and how it operates in this creation.

by hard work, btw, I meant, the totality of going through the process of learning these formulas -- because in learning them, the self gets pulverized, the belief systems (everything I thought I knew about myself, god, my life, personality, etc.) have to crash and shatter, the soul has to grow, the egoism has to take a back seat on the bus. and that is NOT easy.

it doesn't come naturally -- it's work.

it's also thrilling.

it's evidence how tricky and painful these times are, on the planet, that this information is becoming available now to humanity at large.

what I know is that every soul is eligible to receive that information, and implement those miracles in the world. (but they have to be willing to do that hard work.)

we really need this kind of healing, the information about the miracles, and what they really do in this world.

this is what Jesus represented, demonstrated, stood for, embodied -- humanity's chance to get the same information he learned and practiced, in order to uplift all humanity.

a few thoughts about enlightenment...

2008-02-16T12:08:00.001-08:00

messiah cat
Originally uploaded by alxindia

from another online exchange about spirituality:

"There are spiritual perspectives that claim that one should “do nothing.” This points to the question, is there really anything we can do to arrange or set the conditions toward “realization”? Could it be that the “work” that we do only obstructs from that which we desire? Therefore, if we no longer desire this “state of mind,” and thus abstain from the “work,” would that facilitate its happening more fortuitously? Chiefly because we no longer “desire” it?

Bhagavan Sri Ramana is reputed to have attained realization at age 16 (I think that was the age)." - M.S.

these are great questions. here's my response --

well, yes, and this is one of my major beefs with most spirituality movements in America – in the West, we want to have our enlightenment super-easily and if someone comes along promising us that there's 'no work to do' – wowee! jackpot! and we all get to be smug and go home from the workshops feeling warm fuzzies.

but. how long does that last? & what do we really mean by 'enlightenment'?

(and if I'm already enlightened, how come I don't ACT like it?)

spiritual work needs to be done for 99.9% of the people who are interested in real spirituality and enlightenment stages. there's really no way around that.

even Sri Ramana Maharshi, whom you mentioned, had to do some hard work internally – yes, he got an experience of his enlightenment at 16 years old BUT he had a guru who helped him re-open his energy channels he'd already gained by hard work in some other lifetime.

nor did his enlightenment stages STOP at 16 years old. he kept learning, growing, dwelling in his internal channels, as do all saints of that caliber, throughout his entire life.

for example, most people don't even realize that he worshipped the Divine Mother, the Shakti. he kept a Sri Chakra Yantra on top of his mountain (his guru) Arunachala, and did ritual to it every day.

people like to point to Ramana as an example of someone who 'just woke up' and then 'didn't do anything' but inhabit the silence – but that's a wishful thinking and naive understanding of the complexity of who and what he was, and what he really did.

and – if it's really in the cards for humanity at large to have those kinds of experiences, ie, to 'just wake up' out of the clear blue – why hasn't it happened in MASS numbers? there are oh-so-many spiritual seekers who'd love to have those experiences. if it's so easy – why hasn't it happened?

my response to my own questions – *grinning* – is that hard work IS part of spiritual enlightenment. surrender and ego-subduing is part of that hard work. understanding where we really came from, where the soul originated, is part of that hard work. standing still and open-hearted while our karmas are being burned off and transformed – not running away when the going gets tough – is some really hard work.

finding a spiritual master or guide who actually HAS that kind of understanding and enlightenment and who is willing to help someone else along (many masters aren't that willing because of the karmas involved) – is part of that hard work. even if that guru is a mountain, like in the case of Ramana Maharshi. of course, he didn't see the mountain Arunachala as a mountain, he saw that it was Lord Shiva.

simply put, the reason we don't act enlightened (even if we really are, underneath) is the mountain of karma each of us is carrying, and the negative qualities reinforced from that karmic mountain.

burning off that karma starts freeing our inner self to express itself more clearly and openly and purely. and that's a pretty hard work, at least, in my experience and the tradition that I've dedicated the last 9 years of my life to pursuing – because it goes way beyond normal 'emotional processing' and superficial psychological or behavioral changes.

and, no, I don't think the work itself obscures the enlightenment experience or 'attainment' (which is a funny word, but you know what I mean). in my experience, the work only crystalizes the focus, the divine desire to get enlightened – it hones that yearning for god, and for the inner realization that each of us is That.

also, doing the work keeps us really humble and connected – because at a certain point, you realize there's an endless amount of 'work' to do, and the development of the internal consciousness, of the soul, really never ends no matter how 'enlightened' we are or become.

turning a page

2008-02-07T12:00:00.001-08:00

mmy_red_garland
Originally uploaded by alxindia

my mate Jonathan and I recently sent this message to our friends and family in our spiritual community, about the mahasamadhi (conscious death/passing) of a great spiritual figure, Maharishi Mahesh Yogi. I thought it was worth posting here as well.

"Dear Divine Souls,

here is an amazing end to an era of spirituality spanning more than 50 years in the West -- and a powerful beginning of the next chapter of this planet's spiritual evolution. millions of people around the world, since 1959, have learned to meditate deeply and achieve samadhi through the technique of TM, Transcendental Meditation, that Maharishi Mahesh Yogi brought to the world when he left India.

the following (below) are a few thoughts from one of the members of his Purusha program, who was there in Vlodrop, Holland, and saw Maharishi in his mahasamadhi (conscious exit from the body). you can feel the bliss and the beauty of this amazing passing.

many of you called or emailed us to be sure that we had heard the news -- & we thank you for your immense thoughtfulness and kind regard for us in connection with Maharishi. we wanted to let you know our hearts, as well, on this auspicious day.

we are quite sure that Maharishi Mahesh Yogi, and his master, "Guru Dev" (Brahmananda Saraswati) have given a remarkable blessing to this world in terms of timing (new moon) and expansion of the divine energy they have represented in this world for so long, by this maha samadhi.

it is so inspiring to see how one dedicated divine soul was able to bring the balm of meditation to millions and millions of people all over the globe in 142 countries -- enabling them to touch the silence of eternity, and to drink every day from that ocean of unbounded love.

and now he has passed that torch on to all of us who follow on the path of dharma -- to bring the next steps, the next blessings in this expanding banquet of knowledge and love -- how to operate the miracle mechanisms to relieve the heart broken sufferings of the world, and to realize our true nature and birth right as the divine souls we all are. there is a lot of work for us all to do!

on New Year's Eve last year, Maharishi gave this beautiful talk before going into 3 days of silence at the beginning of 2007:

"Jai Guru Dev. Jai Guru Dev. Jai Guru Dev. With these humble, very humble, very humble feelings of world consciousness offering at the feet of Guru Dev, we are entering in the field of absolute, eternal admiration to the eternal silence that rules the universe.

We are entering into the domain of the eternal administrator of the universe, the Will of God -- so that we nourish our Being with that eternal silent administrative power of Veda, so that the ocean of silence guides and rules over every activity of the individual and every nation -- every incoming and outgoing breath of our single individual life and the life of every nation in our world family -- to display that master management, master administration of total Natural Law, the Constitution of the Universe, the Veda, for all coming time.

All Glory to Guru Dev. Jai Guru Dev. Jai Guru Dev. Jai Guru Dev."

Jai Guru Dev!
Jai Guru Datta!

"I really have to say, hats off to Maharshi -- he really got the whole world to meditate." - Sri Kaleshwar

"Allah Malik Eke." ("All gods are one.") - Shirdi Sai Baba

love,

Alx & Jonathan"

Subject: From a Purusha member in Vlodrop.

:
> Dear Friends,
>
> On January 11, 2008, Maharishi gave his farewell address to his worldwide family, saying that he had fulfilled his "designed duty to Guru Dev" and was handing over all responsibilities to his Rajas and Ministers and national leaders, and retiring from activity. It was an emotion-filled tribute that followed, with all the assembled dignitaries of the Movement giving their personal appreciations and cherished memories. He asked his Rajas if he deserved a gift of a memorial, to himself and Guru Dev, for what had been brought to the world: a Tower of Invincibility in each of the countries overseen by the Rajas.
>
> A couple weeks ago, it was resolved that the first tower would be built right next to Maharishi's house. The groundbreaking ceremony took place on Monday January 28. Offers of funding poured in from around the world.
>
> Today, February 5, 2008, having fulfilled his duty to Guru Dev, Maharishi took mahasamadhi. He has left his mortal body, but he remains with us eternally in spirit, in our hearts, in the very Silence that permeates every grain of creation.
>
> I remember the first time I saw Maharishi. It was in the auditorium at Humboldt University, California. He walked through the line of people on either side, gently taking the flowers people offered him. I didn't have any flowers, it was a new concept to me to give flowers to a man. But the feeling of gratitude was so overwhelming that it was so natural that I wished I had a flower--anything--to give. He glanced at me with a brilliant gleam in his eye, a smile, and a soft Jai Guru Dev as if to say, "It wasn't necessary, just enjoy." My heart melted in joy. It was a moment made indelible in my memory.
>
> Tonight, around 7:30 pm everyone here collected in the big meeting tent where Maharaja Raam announced the news (which you can hear on the Maharishi Channel, see link below). We listened to sahasranam, and then did puja to Guru Dev. The air was saturated with incense, purity, and a sanctified transcendental bliss colored with a soft silent sadness. The Rajas and Directors were invited by Maharaja Raam to Maharishi's house, then everyone was invited to go.
>
> The only time before when everyone was invited into Maharishi's house was just before he entered it the first time, about 10-11 years ago, no doubt with much celebration. This time it was quiet. Only a few whispers. A lady couldn't hold back and wept. Single file we slowly made our way upstairs to the brahmasthan room that Maharishi had spent so many hours in the past 10-11 years, pouring out an inexhaustible flow of knowledge and inspiration and guidance to Movement leaders, to Purusha and Mother Divine, and to the whole world, through every modern system of communication.
>
> One has time to let the reality of events sink in while waiting in line. My thoughts touched on wonderful memories of Maharishi and also the events of the day. A mixture of joy and sadness on the solid ground of bliss. And a bit of pondering. What would happen now that he isn't directing and prodding his Movement to move at every turn? I felt the thoughts of some others, similar. Others emanated solid confidence. Indeed, this Movement is in very good hands.
>
> Finally I reached the door of the brahmasthan. I could see the large room was full of Rajas and Ministers, meditating or just silently watching. It was also full of all sorts of gifts from years of celebrations, on tables, on shelves, and free standing. Devatas and elephants, Faberge eggs and flags, gold wish-fulfilling trees and building models, and innumerable other gifts with so much concentrated gratitude emanating from each. It was a beautiful gold and crystal wonderland. But the most striking decoration was the row of huge pictures of Guru Dev above--maybe 8--which Maharishi could see from his couch every day. They dominated everything. Maharishi's life always was 100% devotion to Guru Dev. As he said just a few weeks before, he offered his EVERYTHING to Guru Dev.
>
> His mortal remains sat upright on a bed, wrapped in white except for his face, garlanded in a few thin strands of flowers from head to foot. Maharaja Raam sat meditating next to the bed. I couldn't stand. My mentor, my teacher, my infallible guide through the perilous roads of life had gone silent. I bowed in prayer of gratitude and a request. Somehow I felt it already answered.
>
> Such a divine master is so unimaginably rare. It has been our extraordinary great fortune to have been touched by his infinite compassion and transformed by his perfect knowledge. He altered our personal destinies and the destiny of the whole world. I think it is quite fair and true to say he saved the world from annihilation, several times probably. I know he saved me, many times, in ways I can barely comprehend, too personal to describe. You must have your own story.
>
> Within our hearts Maharishi will always remain. We pray that his work, the work of Guru Dev, will be carried on ceaselessly through his Rajas, Ministers, Directors, Governors, sidhas, meditators, and all lovers of life, to bring permanent Invincibility to every nation and to unfold the full glory of life in enlightenment in every sincere seeker for all generations to come.
>
> Maharishi gave us everything we need. Now let us move forward, guided by Maharishi and Guru Dev in our hearts, to create the full glory of Heaven on Earth. Nothing else could be more worthwhile to do.
>
> Jai Guru Dev,
>
> S.
>
> Watch for announcements of ceremonies at:
> http://news.mou.org/
> http://globalgoodnews.com/watch-live.html
>
> Maharishi's farewell addresses of January 9, 11, and 12, 2008:
> http://press-conference.globalgoodnews.com/archive-menu.html
>
> A beautiful synopsis of Maharishi's achievements can be found here:
> >http://maharishi-programmes.globalgoodnews.com/achievements/Maharishi.html

selling enlightenment to the age of ignorance

2008-01-30T03:05:00.001-08:00

A&J2 gateways07
Originally uploaded by alxindia

which means, traveling and teaching.

it's been an interesting whirlwind of events -- I'm feeling lately as though we're living in a kind of revolving door, one of those really big ones, like you see in the entrances to airports -- and we keep going around and around and those flashes of color and movement are the souls, the people who attend our classes and workshops -- we can see them clearly, for a moment, and then whoosh..... out the door and back around the cycle we go.

to the next location and event series, and the next, and the next.

it seems that the G.O.D. energy -- the Generator, Operator, Destroyer -- really does make you do the things you least prefer, at times, in order to get Its message across to the people who need to receive the divine knowledge & energy the most.

I don't think either Jonathan or I really seriously thought we'd be lecturing much outside of Santa Cruz -- and now we're being pulled into the most interesting places to share the hard-won (and hard-fought, and hard-disciplined) knowledge and divine experience we received in South India.

actually, I should backtrack. initially, in fact, we DID think of traveling -- there was even some fantasy of an RV or something, just driving around like itinerant Western sadhus, sharing chautauqua in small towns across North America.

but then, of course, because it was a romantic/spiritual ideal -- that didn't happen and we wound up hunkering down in the Santa Cruz mountains and teaching teaching teaching -- two or four or even, sometimes, eight people at a time -- on a constant basis.

after a few years went by, we discovered we had quite a spiritual community growing up in these har hills -- another surprise.

then the idea of forming a spiritual center or ashram community here became stronger and stronger.... and...

since THAT's become a prominent, important idea.... sticking in this one place and really developing that center and finding land and going through all the important steps to create it....

has led to us spreading out and sharing these teachings in different areas, rather than sitting in the redwoods of Santa Cruz and making the spiritual center dream a concrete reality.

hah! that's the Datta energy, writ large. there's no getting around G. O. D., there's no escaping it, there's no weaseling out of whatever it wants you to do -- simply you have to grin and surrender and go in the direction It's pointing.

I console myself by knowing that god is a LOT smarter than I am, and has a brilliant plan about how to deploy each and every one of us. (not to mention a great sense of humor!)

it gets really easy to be flexible, inspired, light-hearted and deadly serious about the divine knowledge -- and our role in it -- once we just let the divine run the show and stop worrying about the details.

someone remarked recently that I 'sure know how to get attention, or to be in the spotlight,' and I had to howl, positively, HOWL, with laughter about this remark.

most of my life I've been thrust, uncomfortably, and awkwardly, and reluctantly at best, into the role of someone who's on stage. I hated it as a performer, and came to an uneasy truce with being the center of attention only when I felt the message I had come to convey (either through music or poetry) was really important and needed to be shared with others.

otherwise, I'm easier curled up in front of the statue of Shirdi Baba who presides over our home temple, reading a good book on a rainy day with a warm cat nearby and a week's supply of homemade chai. and no phones ringing.

but dharma seems to supersede what we think we want, or what we suspect our destiny is all about. it really pushes us, like baby birds, out of whatever comfortable nests we think we inhabit, and forces us to represent god's messages and miracles, energy channels and teachings, in the world. at every turn.

embracing that and growing into that role is a real experience. recognizing that it is the divine running the show, speaking through us, doing Its work through every human instrument it can use effectively, healing through us, loving through us, taking care of others through us -- it's a huge recognition. sometimes it's a leap of faith.

and mostly, it's an incredible relief.

then, there is no 'attention to get' or spotlights to vie for -- all of that, too, is in god's capable hands.

because all of the credit belongs to god, and all of the blame also belongs to god.

we just keep showing up, doing our maximum best, and letting god be god.

at the end of the day, I can't think of a more blissful way to spend one's life.

back to the kitties

2008-01-30T02:44:00.001-08:00

god...
Originally uploaded by alxindia

someone sent me this photo with the subject, in email, simply as 'god.'

I have to say, all Vedic knowledge and profound divine experiences aside, there really are days when I think it's entirely possible that a giant feline-like creature could be running this planet, thinking to Itself,

"OMG WTF???"

*snickering*

yeah, it's late, I've slipped off the chain of my mind once more...

altar of agnostic heresy

2007-12-20T23:36:00.001-08:00

Jesus in Penukonda
Originally uploaded by alxindia

at seven years old the world
was still its own mystery;
fresh & shiny like a new penny
yet to be in circulation
& largely undiscovered
in its mad grimy detail.

living in the woods, then,
just like living in the woods now
except: closer to the ground
& trees waving taller
in the breezes.

mundane to you
was magic to me –
sunlight exploding from the tops of trees,
the rustling possibility of a rabbit in dry leaves,
infinite shades & qualities of dirt.

silent in Nature
there & only there
could I hear myself.

summer days, I sneaked away into the woods
earnest as a lover rushing, blushing, to a tryst
& found sublime nothing, after hours
& hours of not looking.

humming some fragmented
off-key tune, sprawling in the cool duff
at the base of an old & trusted comrade, oak by name,

playing at private ritual
as though by rote, invoking a dangerous freedom:

miniature golden Mary on the left,
surrounded by glitter & sequins,
or were they sunbeams? & noble Jesus,
no bigger than my fingertip,
robes flowing in brass tones, to the right.

hour after hour, until the sunlight ceased to play
through the sparse leafy roof

& twilight rendered
all things grey regardless
of their proper daytime tints,

the messiah & his mother came to life in my hands,
speaking volumes half-inaudible,

celebrated, initiated, praised, vowed, blessed,
blended into the roots of the complicit oak,

housed in fallen leaves arching cathedral-style
over their little metallic bodies flashing light…

& together with the sky
Jesus & Mary & I built
a tiny temple
in the dirt.

holidaze & spiritual technology

2007-12-20T12:13:00.001-08:00

happy-christmas-face
Originally uploaded by alxindia

one of my Christmas items to be hugely grateful about this year is the website that keeps providing these hilarious kitty pictures to the world, every day. *snickering*

well, it's holiday time here in the Santa Cruz mountains. I really do love it -- all the homes along the otherwise depressingly darkened roads around here are lit up with lights and Christmas trees. it's mystical to come around a dark, rainy curve in the road and then see the happy, sparkling Christmas lights outlining a whole home, or its front porch, or front door, or whatever.

as we drive by, I keep hearing the phrase "there is a light in the darkness" in my mind, and it's incredibly uplifting -- keeps connecting me back to the Big Boss Jesus and why he came into this crazy planet.

we were talking with someone a few days ago about all of this ancient spiritual information that's coming, once again, to the planet after a 2000-year (or more) hiatus, through Sri Kaleshwar and what he's bringing. and what we're teaching.

I mentioned one system that's 7000-years-old, The Holy Womb Chakra, and that it's an ancient spiritual technology.

to me, it's no news that yoga is a science, and that the terms we use to describe spiritual information do sound mechanistic or technological -- we talk about the 'mechanisms' of creation, the 'soul science', and spiritual technology.

but I forget, sometimes, how unusual that sounds to folks who don't have a background in the Vedic knowledge, or in the spiritual lexicon, particularly, that I'm accustomed to.

so it was really cute when my listener giggled, and laughed at the idea of 'spiritual technology' -- in an appreciative way, as if the intelligence was dawning on her that there ARE spiritual mechanisms that can be learned, studied, parsed, and applied. just like, uh, material technology.

it was a great moment of seeing a perception shift in an interesting, and comical, and lively way. I really enjoyed it -- it's moments like that that sustain my inspiration and remind me how sacred and uplifting, how extraordinary and supernatural these tools and teachings really are. I'm delighted that it is my path in this life to represent them, and to share them.

**************
last piece of spiritual advice for today -- DON'T eat the f^%-ing tinsel, or you'll wind up looking like this Christmas kitteh!

spirit of christmas

2007-12-15T01:29:00.001-08:00

spirit of christmas
Originally uploaded by alxindia

*grinning*

no words for this photo. just, uh, there are cream-puff days and then there are Maha Kali days.

one of my colleagues here refers to some kinds of troublesome, super-intense days as "Penukonda Days." as in, "geez, this was really a Penukonda day!" *chuckle*

that must be the ultimate in-joke of the cosmos, or at least on this planet. everyone thinks spirituality is this nice-nice, love-n-light process of getting sweeter and sweeter and more and more blissful -- and I've actually had folks tell me, with stars in their eyes, "you're so LUCKY to be living in such a calm, spiritual, peaceful ashram...!"

what to say? swallow mah tongue, nod, and smile, and don't roll the eyes visibly.

for anyone who's actually lived in Penukonda, or spent serious time there, every day is a century passing, as if whole lifetimes have been ground out and heaps of karmas have been reduced to a pulp, during the whole day when nothing, really, seemed to be happening.

one day in Penukonda can be an ultimately blissful, beautiful experience -- and at the same time it can seem like a total torture chamber, as we come face-to-face with people who are also in the same karmic pressure-cooker, and they become instruments of our own unfortunate karmas coming back to us as tests, taunts, challenges, arbitrary snarls, and outright insults.

some days, I literally felt as though I'd been battered and bludgeoned by people until I was black and blue.... and I'd crawl back to my room, exhausted by my apparent efforts at surviving the slings and arrows of what seemed like truly outrageous fortune...

and I'd look back on the morning's events (which now seemed like an eon ago), and think that something that occurred in the morning had been several weeks before. (yes, the time factor gets highly stretched and distorted in Penukonda... a curious attribute of the life there.)

I'd say to Jonathan, 'oh, you know, that thing we did last week," and he would grin at me and reply, "Alx!? that was THIS MORNING!"

omigawd!

some days here in America are really just like that -- "Penukonda days."

and this has to do with Christmas, how, exactly?

*grinning*

RAWRRRRRRRRRRRR!

it's the most wonderful time of the year....

2007-12-11T01:59:00.001-08:00

Christmas Kitty 3
Originally uploaded by alxindia

well, between the 2-hour conference-call satsangs every Saturday morning, the 2-hour satsang (in person as well as on the phone) every Thursday night, the bhajans/kirtan performances, intensive teaching schedule (a workshop every weekend!), helping organize the travels of about 26 people to South India in early March -- including myself and Jonathan -- (!), doing personal healing sessions and online kibbitzing, uh, that was 'online satsang....' wasn't it?

*grinning*

and taking care of my own personal ninja twins, the ever-growing, ever-expanding black fluffy zen monks, Masters Pi and Li.......

yeah, I'm a little bit overdue for the Christmas vacation part!

(do we EVER get an actual break?

I used to joke, "I'll sleep when I'm dead".... but now, what with reincarnation and all looming on the horizon of reality, I realize even THAT sleep may turn out to be a myth.....)

anyway, tomorrow's my birthday -- am getting a Christmas tree!!!!!!!!!

wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

and will be spending a good deal of time trying to keep the Flying Ninja Brothers OUT of it, no doubt.....

since they, too, will think that they are superb and deserving ormanents....

Satsang Kitty

2007-12-06T23:17:00.001-08:00

Satsang Kitty
Originally uploaded by alxindia

but...

what kitteh doesn't know...

ONLY EXIT IN.....!

can't... get.... serious......

2007-12-04T22:19:00.001-08:00

Christmas Kitty 2
Originally uploaded by alxindia

I don't know what it is lately, but everything is so completely nutty (myself included) -- big huge dramas, up this way, down that way, wild energy running everywhere I look, relationships shattering or rearranging or imploding or exploding, our society going over a cliff of greed and blindness about totalitarian structures in place (but we have computer games, frozen pizza, netflix and hummers, so what is there to complain about?!?!) -- that I just can't take any of it seriously today.

ESPECIALLY all the Christmas hub-bub. and I'm a HYUGE fan of the Christmas season.

mostly I'm wanting to curl up in a ball in Frost Cottage, my little home in the redwoods, on the floor in front of the woodstove (fresh pot of chai brewing on the stove, all winter long), play with the Zen Masters Pi & Li, and do no other digital work AT ALL except occasionally surfing the internet at www.icanhascheezburger.com

in lieu of all that, of course, Jonathan and I are teaching and healing up to Christmas Eve. (thinking to attend Father Bob's midnight mass, at our local Catholic Church, if he's having one this year....... that's a fun thing to do, haven't been to a Catholic mass since Paris in 2001.)

and in raw defiance of human misery, heartbreak, suffering, depression, violence, abuse, pain of all kinds, war, and torture -- I'll be posting ridiculous photos of kitty Christmas shenanigans to inspire the Christmas spirit wherever they are viewed this season.

wait'll you see the one I've selected to send out as a major Christmas greeting card....................!

*evil cackle*

Yet Another Digital Exchange....

2007-11-26T13:27:00.000-08:00

I think I've mentioned before how much I enjoy discussing spiritual principles with people I barely know but have come into contact with, online.

here's an excerpt from an interesting conversation I thought would merit posting here.

the other correspondent, a beautiful American guy who I admire quite a bit, was saying that we're trying to talk about too many enormous spiritual subjects simultaneously, and it's too much. I keep telling him about the importance of the miracle energy, and he keeps trying to frame it that either a) I'm sounding like a dogmatic Christian or b) science should verify the miracles I claim to have witnessed.

overall, I'm just impressed that someone coming from a skeptical point of view wants to engage thoughtfully in this very deep and complicated subject.

so, here's the exchange. my correspondent's comments are in bold.

"well, yes, there are too many big things at once! it's an avalanche! you're right -- let's bite off small pieces and grind them. maybe we'll reach an understanding, maybe not. *grinning* but the fun is in the process.

I need to repeat myself, hoping that you got the point about what I was saying, below, that it's NOT at all about worshipping any figure or another -- that the miracle energy is operating through all kinds of people, in order to help others wake up to their OWN inner divinity.

that's a huge statement, not at all a light one.

I don't think talking about miracles or even demonstrating miracles is something for the masses to 'accept such claims' or 'make them credible'. at a certain point, and I'm not sure you'll accept this statement, but I can verify from my own experience that it is true, and I've seen it validated in many, many other people who were also skeptical, it comes down to what you know in your heart -- what you FEEL in your heart, your inner self -- not the mind.

the mind will never accept something greater than itself. it simply won't. esp in the West, where we've put such praise and store into accomplishments of the mind, of the intellect.

for the mind to surrender to love, to miracles, to something it can't immediately understand, the dynamism of what it's exposed to has to be enormous.

a Beethoven symphony played live, for example -- that's pretty mind-shattering! or a sunset so exquisite that the mind just stops and tears come to the eyes.

the miracles are a little like that. the mind has to stop.

which brings me to a point -- you can't, as they say in Maine, 'get theah from heah.' you can't reach the inner knowledge of the divine through the intellect. there's a gap between the mind and the heart/soul. that's a chasm requiring the proverbial leap of faith.

in my experience, the miracles demand that leap but also reinforce how possible it is."

You do seem quite religious to me. That I will admit. It's a jacket that comes with the climate of awe and mystery of the things you engage, the highly esoteric experience, the obvious amazement coupled with lots of emotionally charged exclamation marks and capitalization, words like "Jesus energy" "holy," "saint," "miracles," etc., along with all the Indian trappings, the offerings or whatever it is that you do. if all of this is because you believe in these things, that's quite appropriate. If it is because they are useful tools to draw people into your circle of supporters, that presents a different light.

"I really have to giggle about being called 'religious.' omigawd. I guess everything is relative, and religious is in the eye of the beholder.

I consider myself a kind of iconoclast -- with a healthy respect for all spiritual traditions but a general distaste bordering on revulsion for organized religions of all walks.

I think there's an enormous difference between spirituality and religion that needs to be distinguished at this point.

religion, to me, is a codified belief system that may or may not have some truth in it, where people who practice the religion have forgotten whatever the real dynamics behind the religion are but observe the dogmas as best they can (church on Sunday, mosque on Friday, Shabbat on Saturdays, etc.)

everywhere on the planet, religions have lost their way. I meet people constantly from all different faiths and beliefs, and most of the time they're going through the motions, and their priests and rabbis, leaders and teachers are ALSO going through the motions. they've forgotten the energy links BEHIND those motions.

most religions, too, are characterized by a kind of rigidity -- as people lost their connection to the truth, they rely more on structures. well, those structures may no longer apply to people's realities!!!! but they still cling to them.

spirituality -- the pursuit of the truth, the inner knowingness of god and connectedness and the desire to merge with and understand god directly.

I would call the Gnostics more spiritual people than religious. same with the Sufis, in Islam -- they're the mystics, not the dogmatists. same with certain types of Buddhism that delve into the mystical rather than sitting in the silence staring at the wall.

same with the great souls like Buddha, Jesus, Sri Ramakrishna, and others -- they weren't religious. they were shattering the confines of religions and remaking human divine experiences in the direction of spirituality.

so, for me -- I'd say I'm much more 'spiritual' than 'religious.'

in terms of the rituals and the "Indian trappings" -- we use them because they work to connect to certain aspects of the divine. it has nothing to do with attracting people -- ha! -- quite the opposite seems to be the case. people get turned off because it looks like an Indian cult. no problem.

what I've learned about spirituality is that the price of admission is often jumping into a practice DESPITE whatever seems to be happening on the surface. it's always counter-intuitive, if viewed from a surface perspective.

Jesus was terrifying to the people during his era -- you can see accounts of that in the Christian Bible, where he goes to a village, does the work to cast the demons out of the people and toss them into the pigs (another yogic technique, btw) and then the people of the village, while grateful for the relief to their village, ask Jesus to LEAVE immediately because they thought maybe he was a black magician, an evil sorcerer.

it's hilarious to me, today, to think that people were standing right next to JESUS, fer gossakes, and couldn't recognize that greatness -- but that is Ignorance. that is the colossal grip of the Illusion (as I would call it, from the Vedic perspective) on people's minds. it is confusing. they can't see clearly, underneath the surface. the surface reality has them mesmerized.

in terms of calling me religious because of my emotionally charged exclamation points and comments!??? no, seriously!??? I was writing that way long before I got swept up into the tide of Indian mysticism. *grinning* I guess you could say, for better or worse, that is just my nature. no reflection per se on how I experience spirituality or miracles, love, or whatever."

You have to admit that statements like "The historical Jesus coming to this planet" sounds like a subtle way of saying that he was on a mission from God in the traditionally accepted Christian manner because you suggest that he did not originate on this planet but somewhere else.

it's not a subtle way of saying he was on a mission from God. it's a direct way of saying it! everyone who is here, incarnated on this planet today, even the bad guys like Hitler.... well, you could say that each of us is playing a role in god's drama. we're each on a soul mission. the mystery -- the job of spiritual life --is to figure out WHAT, exactly, that soul mission is.

I wouldn't at ALL say being 'on a mission from god' (why oh why am I hearing John Belushi in my head right now!?????? *snickering* him and Ackroyd in the Blues Brothers, proclaiming they're 'on a mission from god!') is a particularly Christian message or piece of dogma. most Christians, as I understand it, think that Jesus is the ONLY soul who came into this planet on a mission from god.

uh, oh. BIG flaw in the ointment, to my perception.

you know, people often ask my teacher in India, who has miracle abilities and is an astonishingly beautiful divine character, 'are you an avatar?' (avatar literally means, 'descent of the divine into form' -- it usually signifies a very high level saint, someone who is in union with the god consciousness all the time.) his unfailing response is ALWAYS: "isn't everyone?"

meaning -- aren't we ALL emanations of the divine into different forms? of COURSE. of course we are.

this is why I'm not at all a Christian -- because they distorted what Jesus was saying (of course) and twisted it, somehow, into Jesus On A Pedestal being the ONLY 'Son of God' and the ONLY descent of the divine into this madhouse of a planet.

he was saying, I am A son of god, not THE son of god. and the invitation is for humanity at large to wake up and recognize itself as the divine in forms. "I tell ye, ye are GODS!" says Jesus, at one point, quoting the Psalms. he wasn't kidding.

but how to bridge that gap, between being a confused human being and an awake human being? it's not that easy. it takes a lot of hard work, dedication, faith, patience, and surrender to the divine.

that's the part that the human mind has a lot of trouble with.

*grinning*

and it's also why we suffer so much.

I feel compelled to share a story from my childhood, to illustrate what I mean about spirituality versus religion. this was a moment of blinding insight when I was about 10 years old.

my older sister (I'm the youngest of 6 children), 12 years my senior, married the scion of a prominent local Catholic family in my small town in Missouri, over all objections from both families. (it was all very Shakespearean -- my family was totally agnostic, my dad, a surgeon, was a politically radical left-wing champion of education, economic equality, eradicating racism and prejudice, his views on women's right to a safe and legal abortion (pre Roe v. Wade) and his vehement opposition to the Vietnam War and all things Nixon got us thrown out of town BY the local Catholics!!!! and his new son-in-law's father was one of those who'd led the charge to get us thrown out....! )

well, the son didn't care that much at all about Catholicism, being an acid-dropping, conscientious objector to the war (much to the horror of his Korean War-decorated militarist father!), a hippy, and a closet intellectual who read Mark Twain and Bertrand Russell when he wasn't farming his land by horse and plow, literally.

that boy's mother, a devout Catholic and -- I have to say -- one of the most true-to-the-message-of-Jesus' love and kindness Catholics I've ever met, was beside herself that her son wouldn't go to church. she was really convinced that his soul was going to fry in hell because he didn't attend Catholic services on Sundays.

it really upset her, and she cried and cried about it. she let my sister -- about as skeptical a mind as you'll ever meet about all things religious or spiritual -- know how upset she was about this. the mother was always calling my sister and sobbing about her son's heresy and that she was worried for his soul since he didn't have any connection to god.

my sister, recounting the story to me, at 10 years old, in a kind of disdain for her mother-in-law's dramas, said, "the weird thing is that she doesn't realize that when he's plowing his fields, when he's out in nature, with his horses, he IS in church! it's just HIS way of being with god."

when my sister said this, every bell in my inner system went off in a thrill of recognition. oh my god, I got it -- ! really got it ! that god was something we find inside, each in our own way, and my brother-in-law was communing with god his way and it was equally valid to his mother's Catholic way -- in fact, even more direct, maybe.

this exchange shattered my young idea that maybe god could only be found in churches. that he was exclusively the domain of these religions and their practices.

what I learned in India, after years of meditating and spending time poring over Vedic knowledge, is pretty much the same lesson that I learned through my sister that day.

that's why I laugh to hear myself referred to as 'religious.' anyone who knows me personally would, I think, be amused to hear that appellation.

I'm glad to hear that you've read the Nag Hammadi texts. the ones that move me the most (and, to me, reveal the most about what Jesus was really doing and saying) are the Gospels of St. Thomas and of Magdalene. clearly, in the beginning (what's left of it!) of the Gospel of Mary Magdalene, Jesus came and was explaining to her about how the soul leaves the body. he was teaching her that mechanism -- presumably in reference to what he, himself, ha just done while on the cross.

because this and many other references in these gospels is consistent with what mystics from every other mystical tradition (Sufism, mystical Buddhism, Vedic knowledge, Native American shamanic and nagual traditions, Kabbalah, etc) have said -- I have absolutely no reason to regard these as 'just stories.' these kinds of mechanisms exist, have been practiced and demonstrated over human history enough to get the drift that every tradition has some access points to these same energy mechanisms.

have you ever read the Sufi poets, like Rumi or Hafiz or Kabir?

(or even the Q'ran, which says in no uncertain terms that Jesus didn't actually die on the cross?)

have you read accounts of the life of St. Francis of Assisi, and some of the astonishing characters who were his students back in the 1200s? John of the Cross? Theresa of Avila? Hildegard von Bingen?

have you ever read "Autobiography of a Yogi" by Paramahansa Yogananda? or his later book, published more than 50 years after his death, in 2004, called "The Second Coming of Christ: The Resurrection of the Christ Consciousness Within You" -- ?

it's difficult to have a discussion like this without the context and backdrop of a few points:

1. there have been mystics throughout human history who have had and demonstrated supernatural powers, given from their connection to god, in order to help uplift and inspire and heal humanity to recognize its own divine birthright.

2. these mystics have appeared at different times in history, and different geographical regions on the earth, to help particular groups of people (the Jews in the Middle East, the Gulf Arabs, the European Christians of the Middle Ages, Buddhists in Tibet, Andes mountain people, etc., etc.) at particular times.

3. the Vedic tradition of India -- as distinct from the 'Hindu' religions and beliefs -- again, "Veda" simply means "Knowledge" -- has expressed the blueprint for how this creation operates, including the miraculous abilities. yogis for thousands of years have followed the formulas of the Vedic principles, tested and refined those processes, and demonstrated them -- with the sole purpose of helping humanity know itself, and see through the temporary illusion of the material world, to recognize the god consciousness living within each person."

but I'm inclined to think that religious tendencies being what they are in average people, let alone people of some knowledge like some of the folks in our discussion group, is that you have a greater challenge than you think in dragging people out of their slumber.

"fortunately, it's not my job to drag people out of their slumber -- I'm just an instrument of the divine, as we all are for one another. my job is just to make some knowledge and energy available, and leave the results in god's hands.

as a great soul once said, "let those who have the ears to hear, hear."

I think you'd be surprised, though, at the quantity of people who ARE ready to jump into this kind of knowledge and wild, unorthodox spirituality -- many many people are starving for a taste of the truth that underlies this uncertain and painful creation. when they feel drawn to something that is carrying a flavor of the truth -- either certain teachings, or certain people who embody that truth -- their souls automatically pull them to be around that truth, like a remote control or a tractor beam.

the problem is that the truth isn't easy. getting at it requires a huge determination and dedication, and surrender -- and some really hard work. in the process, everything that isn't true in us (who we think we are, for example, or where we really came from), including most especially our belief systems and our mind's investment IN those belief systems, has to dis-integrate.

that is NOT fun, not by a long shot. not in the beginning.

like the poet T. S. Eliot said -- it's

'a condition of complete simplicity
costing not less
than everything.'

I hope this is more instructive about my beliefs and experience in spirituality.

Alx"

walking around, taking Her smoke...

2007-10-29T16:45:00.001-07:00

IMG_6420
Originally uploaded by cdevida

nine times' pradakshina, around Her holy fire with the offerings.

taking in that holy smoke!

whew!

offerings IN!

2007-10-29T16:44:00.001-07:00

IMG_6386
Originally uploaded by cdevida

finally, when the offerings are all poured into the fire -- all the fruits, seeds, oils, flowers and the individual flowers, incense and dried coconut that the people have been holding throughout the homa -- it is a beautiful moment when it all goes into the fire!

everyone applauds, and the smoke gets intense -- so sweet and highly scented! -- rapidly. then the whole group breaks into smaller groups to make pradakshina -- rounds around the fire.

on this day, the last day of the Navarathri, the Victory Day, when Mother Divine slew the horrendous demon Mahisasura (aka Raktabija), we did 9 pradakshinas around the fire.

Mother in the flames!

2007-10-29T16:40:00.001-07:00

IMG_6351
Originally uploaded by cdevida

with 50 people chanting powerful mantras, it's not surprising that within a very few minutes, the Mother's energy was perceptible in the fire. this is the power and brilliance of the fire element in action -- doing homas, or yagyams, is a high divine expression of the god's energy and blessings in this world.

I've heard it said that attending one high-powered fire homa is the equivalent, to the soul, of a person meditating about 10 hours a day for more than a month.

it bring that much purification and high divine shakti, energy, to a person's soul.

beginning of Vijaya Dashami fire...

2007-10-29T16:37:00.001-07:00

IMG_6323
Originally uploaded by cdevida

and then the fire began..... during the Ganesh mantra...............

beautiful altar

2007-10-29T16:35:00.001-07:00

IMG_6306
Originally uploaded by cdevida

all the divine characters, from Shirdi Baba to Maha Kali, Laxmi, and Saraswati, after they got their baths.

waiting patiently for the fire homa to start....... & gleaming their blessings to all who were assembled!

after the deities were bathed...

2007-10-29T16:33:00.001-07:00

IMG_6209
Originally uploaded by cdevida

we started the fire homa.

this is the offering plate that got poured into the homa fire at the end of the whole process, many mantras later.

there are nine fruits, nine types of seeds, nine types of flowers, and nine different oils in this offering.

nine is the number of the Mother Divine -- this is a specific offering to Her, to bring Her wisdom, Her abundance, Her prosperity, and Her power to all of our souls.

more Navarathri

2007-10-29T16:31:00.001-07:00

IMG_6272
Originally uploaded by cdevida

we also bathed the Mother Divine in various forms.....

yesterday

2007-10-22T16:19:00.001-07:00

IMG_6244
Originally uploaded by cdevida

yesterday, October 21st, was a hugely auspicious day -- called Dassara, or Vijaya Dashami, in the Sanskrit traditions -- the "Victory Day" when Mother Divine, formed out of all of the collective consciousnesses of the divine beings (rishis, angels, gods, goddesses, avatars, everyone) to defeat the great upsurge of negativity embodied by a particular demon, Mahisasura, finally slew that rakshasa or demon.

additionally, in my spiritual tradition it is a HUGELY powerful day for another reason; it is the day on which Shirdi Sai Baba, the great miracle saint of the 1800s and early 20th century, took his mahasamadhi (conscious exit from his body).

he said, "Mother is calling, I have to go...." and handed 9 coins (the 9 different paths to the divine, including seva -- service -- and meditation, singing of bhajans and other ways) to a woman, Lakshmi Bai, who had taken care of him for most of her life.

in this photograph, our group is doing what's called an 'abishek', a ritual bath, for our community's statue of Shirdi Sai Baba. we poured water over him, then milk, then slathered him with sandal powder and rinsed it off with rosewater.

when you see a statue of a divine figure get bathed like this, the washing of the statue is linked to a washing of your own karmas.

it is a high divine, powerful, amazing energy that is generated from such a rinsing -- abisheks happen daily in Penukonda, every morning at 5:30 a.m., to our massive statue of Shirdi Baba there.

in this case, we were about 50 people gathered for the fire homa that followed the abishek. it was quite powerful -- as you can see if you take a few moments to enjoy the energy of this photograph.

I'll post other photos from the actual group gathering and fire homa that ensued after the abishek -- it was a real barn-burner, energetically, where all major forms of the Mother Divine were worshipped and invoked in the fire, and then we did a mantra connecting to Shirdi Baba, as well, in a beautiful, direct way.

the blessings were flowing as tangibly as the water cascading off of this statue....

miracle in the Andes

2007-10-14T15:33:00.000-07:00

this is such a beautiful, heartful, simple, deep, intense account that I thought it would be good to share with everyone. totally inspirational!

you can find the original link to this article at
http://www.truthout.org/docs_2006/101407A.shtml

Thoughts About the True Miracle in the Andes
By Cynthia Boaz

Sunday 14 October 2007

Exactly 35 years ago today, a horrific and extraordinary chain of events was set in motion high in the Andes above Chile. A small commuter plane carrying 45 people crashed on Friday, October 13, 1972. For the next two months, a group of survivors of the crash, most of whom were the young members of a Uruguayan rugby team called the "Old Christians," kept themselves alive against all laws of nature, physics and reason. Like many, you are probably familiar with this story because of its more gruesome details, some of which - namely that the survivors ate the flesh of the dead in order to stay alive - were obsessed over and sensationalized in media for months after the rescue, and then again in the early 1990s when Frank Marshall directed a film called "Alive" (based on Piers Paul Read's book). If you saw the film or read the book, you will recall that one of the primary characters on the mountain was a man named Nando Parrado. Nando says in his own book, "Miracle in the Andes" (published in 2006), that he was not a man of any particular leadership skill or quality at the time of the crash, but nonetheless, over the course of the two months following the accident, he emerged as the key figure in the salvation of the other 15 survivors.

Nando was the driving force behind an expedition out of the mountains (which he undertook along with medical student Roberto Canessa) to get the group rescued after 60 days of surviving freezing temperatures, altitude sickness, a crushing avalanche (which killed eight of their companions in a matter of minutes), starvation, thirst, grief, despair and the horror of being witness to their own slow deaths. Nando and Roberto walked for 11 days over a 17,000-ft peak and across more than 60 miles of ice, snow, and rock with nothing but the street clothes they had packed for a weekend vacation and the will to live.

When Nando came to SUNY Brockport last month to speak to students, he had an audience of more than 1,500 (the largest I've seen there by a scale of three times). Before he left the stage, he had been given three standing ovations, each of which lasted well over a minute. I was very fortunate to get to spend some time with Nando after his talk, and he graciously allowed me to ask him anything I wanted to know about his experience in the Andes. After some discussion of things like his relationships with the other survivors, how he has been able to not let the disaster be the most important thing in his life, and what he learned on that mountain about himself and human beings, I came to realize that what was most fascinating to me about Nando was not the tragedy or even that he had had the amazing luck to survive such an ordeal. What is most extraordinary about Nando is that he has taken an experience that might destroy most of us, and instead of defining himself as a victim, he has chosen to use his survival as an opportunity to embrace life fully and to show others how to do that as well. He spends many months traveling each year to talk to audiences all over the world about his experiences. But he doesn't lecture them on "leadership" or "teamwork" or "courage." He talks to them simply and candidly about how he learned that love is the only sane reaction to horror and death. He credits his will to survive - indeed, his survival itself - to his love for his father. It's interesting, because although he always packs the room, I get the feeling that Nando doesn't fully understand why people respond to him the way they do. He perceives that he is made into a hero for his actions (which is probably true in the case of some people), and more powerfully (and correctly) that his story resonates with people because it demonstrates to them that anything can be endured and overcome. But I think the most significant reason that people respond so strongly to Nando is not just because of what he endured, but because he reminds us that even in the most hopeless of situations, we still have a choice. At its core, Nando's story demonstrates that we always have a degree of control over our lives, even if that choice is simply defining the terms under which we die. This phenomenon is much more than hopefulness or optimism; it is the manifestation of human agency. It is the essence of empowerment.

There is a quote from Nando's book where, after being on the mountain for more than two months, enduring the deaths of 29 friends and family members (including his mother and sister), and upon reaching the summit of a 17,000-foot peak in 30-below-zero temperatures in jeans and sneakers, expecting to see green valleys below, he only sees more peaks and snow-filled valleys as far as the eye can see.

Nando writes:

I don't know how long I stood there, staring. A minute. Maybe two. I stood motionless until I felt a burning pressure in my lungs, and realized I had forgotten to breathe. I cursed God and raged at the mountains. The truth was before me: For all my striving, all my hopes, all my whispered promises to myself and my father, it would end like this. We would all die in these mountains. We would sink beneath the snow, and ancient silence would fall over us, and our loved ones would never know how hard we had struggled to return to them. In that moment, all my dreams, assumptions and expectations of life evaporated into the thin Andean air. My love for my father swelled in my heart and I realized that, despite the hopelessness of my situation, the memory of him filled me with joy. It staggered me. The mountains, for all their power, were not stronger than my attachment to my father. They could not crush my ability to love. I felt a moment of calmness and clarity, and in that clarity of mind I discovered a simple, astounding secret: Death has an opposite, but the opposite is not mere living. It is not courage or faith or human will. The opposite of death is love. How had I missed that? How does anyone miss that? Only love can turn mere life into a miracle and draw precious meaning from suffering and fear. For a brief, magical moment, all my fears lifted and I knew that I would not let death control me. I would walk through the godforsaken country that separated me from my home with love and hope in my heart. I would walk until I had walked all the life out of me, and when I fell, I would die that much closer to my father.

In that moment, when he accepted his own death as inevitable and impending, Nando made what must have seemed to him a tiny choice, but which had enormous consequences. Although he was sure that he would never see home again, he chose to refuse the path of least resistance. Instead of lying down in the snow and waiting for death to come to him (as he had pondered doing on many occasions during those two months), Nando elected to continue walking. He understood in that moment that the fear of death was the real horror. In making that split-second choice to take one more step, to breathe in and out one more time, Nando conquered that fear and discovered a reserve of spiritual resilience that he believes (as I also do) is accessible to everyone. Nando's transformational experience on that summit is not unlike what Buddha or Gandhi or other great spiritual leaders have described. Although he didn't know it at the time, in choosing to continue walking, Nando not only saved his own life and those of 15 other men, but he pulled all of us one step further down the road of human evolution.

Cynthia Boaz is assistant professor of political science and international studies at the State University of New York at Brockport. She is currently working on a book project about leadership in the age of global citizenship.

the ninja twins move into a Baba Temple...

2007-10-03T19:47:00.001-07:00

Masters Pi & Li
Originally uploaded by alxindia

yes, truly.

the dancing Wu Li brothers, Master Pi and Master Li, newly adopted and brought to their home in the redwoods, a Shirdi Sai Baba temple in Frost Cottage.

could anything be better?

this photo was taken of these Zen monk karate jujitsu Aikido kung-fu ninja fighters (&, we're quite sure, Samurai gentlemen who excel at calligraphy, flower-arranging and creating haiku) in their first patch of sunlight, on their first day in their new home.

Master Li is the one with the eyes open. Pi is the sleepy fluff-ball behind him.

of course their names produced gales of laughter at the veterinary office where the Dancing Wu Li Fighting Masters made their first appearance, earlier this week.

"so," asked the vet, a charming young woman with no fewer than 5 earrings (and the piercings to go with them) in her left ear, "are they called Masters because they're Kung-Fu fighters or rappers?!"

good question.

of course I opted for the former, but must say that since Master Pi has found his voice over the last week or so, there's every chance to suppose that they may in fact be putting out their first single soon.

look for it in Zen pet shops everywhere....!

this just in...

2007-09-20T16:20:00.000-07:00

well, he didn't come -- but they did. and She REALLY did!

whatever am I ranting about this time?

*grinning*

at the last moment, Sri Kaleshwar was unable to come to America. there was some violence going on in his home state, in India, and the government was concerned for his physical safety if he traveled.

this was a beautiful spiritual gauntlet thrown down for America: I can't come physically, but I can send my energy through my students. are you ready for the miraculous promise that Jesus made to his students, "all these works I've done, you will do and greater," to come true?

most of the people who signed up for blessing experiences and an all-day intensive with Kaleshwar were ready to stand in the divine energy, and its truth, no matter WHO brought it.

and he sent it -- oh, wow, did he send it, especially the energy of the Mother Divine -- through his two beautiful students, to share with the people here in America.

but then I got a letter like this in my email inbox today (names changed to protect the innocent!):

"After listening to your husband and you at a local bookstore and reading one of Kaleshwar's books, I was excited about hearing him on Tuesday night and I paid a pretty penny for the ticket. Upon hearing the Kaleshwar was still in India and not coming, I was very surprised.

When I walked in the Rio Theatre and handed over my ticket, there was no indication that there was a change of plans for the evening. I must tell you I was sorely disappointed. No one offered a refund to any of us or apologized. I am uncomfortable with not being informed and, for me, a sense of dishonesy has emerged regarding Kashewar and his followers. I will no longer participate in any programs at my local bookstore and will toss out the book. To consider that a spiritual leader did not suggest that his followers openly and honestly inform people of a change in plans and let people make their choices abut attending or not is unacceptable. Also unacceptable is that the followers did not take the initiative to be honest and inform the Santa Cruz community of the change of plans.

With disappointment and distrust,

M.M."

well, uh, okay. I can understand this reaction, on a certain level.

but my response was this:

dear M.M.,

yes, I understand that this was a serious blow to the image of Kaleshwar in your experience.

to be honest, we found out on Thursday afternoon, before the scheduled visit to Santa Cruz that he was not, in fact, able to come to the US on this trip because of world turbulence, violence in his home state in India, and the concern of Indian government officials for his personal safety.

it was a huge shock and we did our maximum best -- at subsequent presentations at that spiritual bookstore, including the Friday night Hanuman Chalisa program there, but also at our two Saturday/Sunday workshops, and the Monday night kirtan on the 16th, and just generally did our best to let people know that he was unable to attend physically but that he was utterly dedicated to blessing the area no matter what.

he went to the extreme lengths of taking a yoga samadhi, of leaving his own physical body as though it were dead, and sending his soul into his two students, Clint and Monika, in order that they could still bring his divine energy blessing and presence to the people here.

we explained this in our regular Thursday night satsang, we explained it in a conference call with a process group here on Saturday morning, we explained it over the weekend at our workshops, we explained it at the bookstore on Friday night and again on Monday night, there was a HUGE sign up at the Rio Theatre, prominently displayed as people walked in the door, announcing the change of plans, it went out in an email to every pre-registered (through the sponsoring group's website) attendee of the talk.

I don't know that Jonathan and I personally could have done any better than we did, to let the community know on the spur of the moment that a major change had happened -- and that this was an incredible opportunity for the people here to experience a profound miracle; the yoga samadhi energy of a major saint is about 5 times more powerful than their physical presence could ever be.

the blessing energy that happened earlier on Tuesday, in Boulder Creek, as well as at the public talk, were a testimony to that power, as was the intensive into the Mother Divine channels the next day.

however, this explanation being what it is -- rooted in the depth of experience and not on the surface level of whether or not Sri Kaleshwar showed up in Santa Cruz on the proper date and time, physically -- of course a refund of the ticket price is available through the organization sponsoring his appearance in our community. this refund was also available on the spot, had you asked for it that night at the Rio Theatre.

the sponsoring group completely understands people's upset and they are happy to refund your money -- just contact them directly, even if you bought the ticket at a bookstore, and they will take care of it.

in terms of your personal disappointment and distrust -- we do understand, but also feel that you're making a more extreme case (baby out with the bathwater) than is warranted.

having been around Kaleshwar for years and seen how he operates, we can say with surety that his larger motives are to lift people out of their everyday illusion of what is real and deliver the shakti, the energy, of the Reality underlying this world -- to that degree, giving people the chance to rise to a new level of understanding that the energy is the energy no matter what, the divine is the divine no matter who is bringing it (ie, his students), is to our thinking a brilliant teaching and an incredible challenge to the belief systems of many, many people starving to receive the divine truth.

we have seen him leave a crowd of 350 people waiting in big American cities -- and not once or twice -- and go back to India rather than give a public talk. why? they need to learn patience. he was happy to receive people's misunderstanding, upset, anger, and frustration at his not showing up, in the past, in order to sift and filter and find the ones who would stand for the divine truth, and the transmission of the divine truth, no matter what.

it was important for him to pose that question in the hearts and minds of the people who were so disappointed and angry at being left 'high and dry', as the saying goes, by his absence. it was important for all the angry people to inquire deep in their own hearts, "why is he doing this? if so many people are verifying that he is indeed a high divine saint, demonstrating miracles and healings, why would he act like this? why would any genuine 'master' behave like this?"

in our view, this puts you face-to-face with the reflection of your own beliefs and expectations about what's real and what's not real. that's a high divine gift, whether you recognize it now or not.

what any sincere seeker of the spiritual truth is looking for, in approaching a real sadguru or a master, consciously or unconsciously, is the shattering of their belief systems (which separate them from being able to recognize and embrace the divine energy on the deep level of creation). this shattering allows seekers to receive an experience of the truth, rather than playing on the surface level alone.

the intensity of the energy that we feel from you, regarding your plans for tossing out Sri Kaleshwar's book, and associating this one program with all of that spiritual bookstore's fine presentations, speaks volumes to us about the beautiful intensity of your desire to know god, and to know the truth.

if petulance, however, distorts your hunger for the divine, and you show a pouting child's face as your response to a divine challenge, all it elicits from god is an exact reflection of your own inner disappointment and distrust.

we are happy to do our best to help.

the ball is in your court.

in the divine love and blessings of the Mother,

Alx & Jonathan

coming soon to Santa Cruz & LA!

2007-09-08T18:19:00.001-07:00

SKSC07web
Originally uploaded by alxindia

Sri Kaleshwar, one of India's most respected saints (and my own dear divine master since 1999) is coming on a book tour to Santa Cruz, CA, and to Los Angeles.... mid-September!

the content of his public events will be focused around an ancient 3000-year-old sacred manuscript containing the exact information about the energy channels needed to connect to the Mother Divine & Shiva.

you can click on the photo to see an enlarged version of this flyer, or go to http://www.devagroupenterprises.com (under 'author tours') to pre-register for the different events.

Sri Kaleshwar will be giving a public talk at the Agape Church in Culver City, on September 14th, and another public talk at the RIo Theatre in Santa Cruz on September 18th.

it's an unbelievable opportunity to experience the divine energy and blessing coming from a purna avatara.

altar for a dear friend

2007-09-07T02:59:00.000-07:00

7 september ‘07

it was paws above her head
into the ground.

little lion, little lamb,
you died as all cats dream of death’s dream –

with dignity & candlelight,
with holy doorways chanted near your head

&

an angel in the redwood tree
marking your tomb
in the dirt.

a few thoughts on suffering

2007-09-04T12:08:00.000-07:00

I hear a lot of people wondering about how come there is suffering in this world, is it possible that god MAKES us suffer in order to learn certain spiritual lessons, why does it seem like spiritual people are MORE subject to suffering?

at a simple level, my experience is that suffering is a natural part of life, and it's true that when people jump into a strong spiritual practice, they often experience a kind of amplification of their own suffering.

why?

because whatever is in them that isn't acting in a divine way, that's blocking them from seeing the truth of their own inner light, is coming up to be confronted and washed out.

god doesn't make us suffer -- we make ourselves suffer when we are holding ANYTHING back from god (both inside and out). where we suffer most is in our negative emotions, like pride, egoism, jealousy, unworthiness, fear, anger, etc.

as the brilliant American writer Henry Miller said,

"I never understood the need for suffering... suffering, to me, is the algebraic demonstration of spiritual inflexibility."

if I let it go, whatever it is, I don't suffer. if I hold on, I may very well suffer.

it's really pretty simple.

ohhhhhh.... but it's not necessarily easy.

Oscar the amazing healing cat

2007-08-23T16:14:00.001-07:00

oscarthecat
Originally uploaded by alxindia

I am SO loving this story and this cat -- I think I sent the links and stories to just about anyone I could think of who's a cat-lover. all the spiritual experiences in the world couldn't, apparently, wash out my eternal and appreciative attachment to felines.

this guy, though, talk about a Shiva character. I'm so interested in his loving capacity to be with dying people and help them cross over as they exit this world. no doubt he is some high soul doing a little time in a cat body, and sharing his service with the lucky souls at a dementia unit in Rhode Island.

what I learned in India is that animals have pure open hearts and thus their third eyes are ALSO open. this explains why my cat seems to be looking up at (esp late at night) presences in the room that I may sense, but she can clearly see them!

*pouting with a little jealousy, here*

anyway, here's the story from the New England Journal of Medicine:

A Day in the Life of Oscar the Cat
David M. Dosa, M.D., M.P.H.

Oscar the Cat awakens from his nap, opening a single eye to survey his kingdom. From atop the desk in the doctor's charting area, the cat peers down the two wings of the nursing home's advanced dementia unit. All quiet on the western and eastern fronts. Slowly, he rises and extravagantly stretches his 2-year-old frame, first backward and then forward. He sits up and considers his next move.

In the distance, a resident approaches. It is Mrs. P., who has been living on the dementia unit's third floor for 3 years now. She has long forgotten her family, even though they visit her almost daily. Moderately disheveled after eating her lunch, half of which she now wears on her shirt, Mrs. P. is taking one of her many aimless strolls to nowhere. She glides toward Oscar, pushing her walker and muttering to herself with complete disregard for her surroundings. Perturbed, Oscar watches her carefully and, as she walks by, lets out a gentle hiss, a rattlesnake-like warning that says “leave me alone.” She passes him without a glance and continues down the hallway. Oscar is relieved. It is not yet Mrs. P.'s time, and he wants nothing to do with her.

Oscar jumps down off the desk, relieved to be once more alone and in control of his domain. He takes a few moments to drink from his water bowl and grab a quick bite. Satisfied, he enjoys another stretch and sets out on his rounds. Oscar decides to head down the west wing first, along the way sidestepping Mr. S., who is slumped over on a couch in the hallway. With lips slightly pursed, he snores peacefully — perhaps blissfully unaware of where he is now living. Oscar continues down the hallway until he reaches its end and Room 310. The door is closed, so Oscar sits and waits. He has important business here.

Twenty-five minutes later, the door finally opens, and out walks a nurse's aide carrying dirty linens. “Hello, Oscar,” she says. “Are you going inside?” Oscar lets her pass, then makes his way into the room, where there are two people. Lying in a corner bed and facing the wall, Mrs. T. is asleep in a fetal position. Her body is thin and wasted from the breast cancer that has been eating away at her organs. She is mildly jaundiced and has not spoken in several days. Sitting next to her is her daughter, who glances up from her novel to warmly greet the visitor. “Hello, Oscar. How are you today?”

Oscar takes no notice of the woman and leaps up onto the bed. He surveys Mrs. T. She is clearly in the terminal phase of illness, and her breathing is labored. Oscar's examination is interrupted by a nurse, who walks in to ask the daughter whether Mrs. T. is uncomfortable and needs more morphine. The daughter shakes her head, and the nurse retreats. Oscar returns to his work. He sniffs the air, gives Mrs. T. one final look, then jumps off the bed and quickly leaves the room. Not today.

Making his way back up the hallway, Oscar arrives at Room 313. The door is open, and he proceeds inside. Mrs. K. is resting peacefully in her bed, her breathing steady but shallow. She is surrounded by photographs of her grandchildren and one from her wedding day. Despite these keepsakes, she is alone. Oscar jumps onto her bed and again sniffs the air. He pauses to consider the situation, and then turns around twice before curling up beside Mrs. K.

One hour passes. Oscar waits. A nurse walks into the room to check on her patient. She pauses to note Oscar's presence. Concerned, she hurriedly leaves the room and returns to her desk. She grabs Mrs. K.'s chart off the medical-records rack and begins to make phone calls.

Within a half hour the family starts to arrive. Chairs are brought into the room, where the relatives begin their vigil. The priest is called to deliver last rites. And still, Oscar has not budged, instead purring and gently nuzzling Mrs. K. A young grandson asks his mother, “What is the cat doing here?” The mother, fighting back tears, tells him, “He is here to help Grandma get to heaven.” Thirty minutes later, Mrs. K. takes her last earthly breath. With this, Oscar sits up, looks around, then departs the room so quietly that the grieving family barely notices.

On his way back to the charting area, Oscar passes a plaque mounted on the wall. On it is engraved a commendation from a local hospice agency: “For his compassionate hospice care, this plaque is awarded to Oscar the Cat.” Oscar takes a quick drink of water and returns to his desk to curl up for a long rest. His day's work is done. There will be no more deaths today, not in Room 310 or in any other room for that matter. After all, no one dies on the third floor unless Oscar pays a visit and stays awhile.

Note: Since he was adopted by staff members as a kitten, Oscar the Cat has had an uncanny ability to predict when residents are about to die. Thus far, he has presided over the deaths of more than 25 residents on the third floor of Steere House Nursing and Rehabilitation Center in Providence, Rhode Island. His mere presence at the bedside is viewed by physicians and nursing home staff as an almost absolute indicator of impending death, allowing staff members to adequately notify families. Oscar has also provided companionship to those who would otherwise have died alone. For his work, he is highly regarded by the physicians and staff at Steere House and by the families of the residents whom he serves.

Source Information

Dr. Dosa is a geriatrician at Rhode Island Hospital and an assistant professor of medicine at the Warren Alpert Medical School of Brown University — both in Providence.

here's the link to the original story:
http://content.nejm.org/cgi/content/full/357/4/328

& here's the next one, about Buckwheat the Cat, in Seattle, who has similar abilities!

http://www.wstm.com/Global/story.asp?S=6850145

something tells me this could be a beautiful wake-up call for the medical/scientific communities that there is WAYYY more than meets the eye in this creation.

and that maybe, just maybe, there really is a soul and animals have less trouble perceiving it (and other subtle energies) than human beings do.

enlightenment now!

2007-08-22T14:44:00.001-07:00

Sari Palace Shiva
Originally uploaded by alxindia

the following is from an exchange with someone, online, about the enlightened masters having already shared with humanity so many inside truths about who we are, really, and how this whole illusion layer started, and how we can really get back to the Reality that underlies this temporary world.

Alx: "many enlightened masters have indeed shared how we got into this situation."

Alx's friend online: "Not well enough!
Liberation should be easy.
There should be more liberated people.
How far away is reality? How long should it take to get there?
Reality should only be one step away."

"Reality should only be one step away," wrote my friend online.

& my response is:

according to whom?

I'm a little flip here, but I'm also serious.

just because I think I'm a fine person and merit a total understanding of the underlying reality, mechanisms, origins of this creation, say, by tomorrow -- *grinning* -- doesn't necessarily mean my premises are accurate. I'm saying, just because *I* think I deserve it (and I'm sure that I do, and that we all do, that's not even a question in my mind) doesn't necessarily mean that I'm ready or equipped to handle it, exactly, right this minute.

and therein the rub, as a great master once said.

it comes step by step, systematically, in stages.

like the very beautiful, sincere man who stood in front of Baba Muktananda in the early '70s and asked, heartfully, if Muktananda would please enlighten him on the spot.

Muktananda (a super-top great siddha), looked at the guy rather penetratingly for a moment, and then said, apologetically, "look, it's not that I wouldn't do it -- I'd be happy to enlighten you right now. but you couldn't take it, you would explode."

it's like running WAY too much voltage through a 40-watt light bulb. the structure of the bulb can't handle too much power. it will just pop as its circuits fry.

the good news is that time passes, the consciousness does expand and speed up its purification and clarity in this world, and the stage is set for massive liberation of many many many many souls on this planet.

we're actually exquisitely lucky to be alive right now, as chaotic and painful as the surface world is. it means at the same time, the divine is even more accessible than at other, more peaceful times in this planet's evolution.

what I learned, though, through direct experience in many years of study in India, is that liberation, or enlightenment, doesn't come overnight, or serendipitously, or for just wishing it would be spontaneous and easy.

we have WAY too much, individually and collectively, in the way -- I'd call it karmas, other traditions call it other stuff but however we call the inner obstacles to our liberation, they exist and need to be purified out.

once a soul gets purified, it can hold greater and greater understanding and energy about who it really is, where it really came from, and how to operate from that origin point rather than this relative, temporary, changing world of illusion.

but that's a process. and it means we also have to do our hard work to engage in the process.

and yes, the enlightened masters have really done their maximum best to explain this to humanity, and liberate many souls.

but the explanations are like trying to explain calculus to a five-year-old -- not for our lack of CAPACITY to understand, mind you, but we're five-year-olds in the sense of being a little ignorant in the ways of higher mathematics and maybe need to master some basics like addition, subtraction, multiplication, division, fractions and algebra, before heading into the calculus waters.

learning anything, including soul mechanisms, means we have to go step by step, systematically, in order to really learn and retain what we've learned.

do you see what I mean?

I graduated!

2007-08-08T10:57:00.001-07:00

I graduated!
Originally uploaded by alxindia

well, oh my god.

this is some kinda landmark in my spiritual life.

although it really doesn't seem POSSIBLE, it happened in July '07 -- an official graduate of Sri Kaleshwar's Soul University program....

Jonathan and I were on the "come and go" students track -- full access to all the teachings and transcripts of the Soul University even though we weren't in residence at the ashram in Penukonda for the totality of the program, but were teaching full-time in America and Singapore.

what is beautiful -- really beautiful -- is that we got to watch a number of our American students who have really worked their asses off during this last year in Penukonda graduate.

they really ground unbelievably difficult knowledge, digested unfathomable spiritual energy, and emerged as powerful, open-hearted divine characters -- and this was incredible to observe.

I felt like a proud mama, or aunt, or something, watching my 'kids' graduate at the master's hand.

and yes, we ALL got a handshake! (and a LOT of shakti transferred with that handshake -- gives new meaning to the 'shake' part of the word. I was literally shaking for about an hour after this grip.)

so, yikes, I'm an official graduate & my head is still spinning.

got the signed paper to prove it and everything!

the best part, of course, is that his signature and 'diploma' is written on my soul.

the document itself -- superfluous.

now if I could only read that fine print, etched on my soul!!!!!!!!!!

suffering, service, g-o-d...

2007-08-07T22:43:00.001-07:00

I want to tell a little bit of my own story vis-a-vis suffering, and spirituality, and service to others, how the one seems naturally to lead to the other, and the other....

as a young person, I grew up in what I laughingly refer to, these days, as the House Of Death (though it wasn't all that funny at the time it was all happening).

both of my parents were quite ill from the time I was really small, and my mother died of leukemia when I was 9 years old. my father had already suffered a heart attack by then, and was working on a couple more, when he remarried a lady who made sure to make my already bruised life a kind of living hell until I left home at 15. I was utterly incapable of staying in a house where someone was trying, if not to kill me (which was partly the case), at the very least to mangle my heart and destroy my spirit.

for many many years, I puzzled and chewed over how tormented my early life was – alternating between depression, rage, confusion, sadness, self-hatred, the gamut of negative emotions surrounding all of the trauma and turbulence I'd been subjected to. I couldn't figure it out, how I'd been so unlucky as to have two parents in frail health, to have survived my mother's death only to be nearly chewed up and spit out by a truly hateful, toxic stepmother.

cruelty on that scale didn't figure into my world view, as a small child and an adolescent, so it was all as baffling as it was degrading, abusing, torturing.

talk about heartbroken! to borrow a phrase from a character in The West Wing, I was "in nine kinds of pain and didn't even know it."

it wasn't until I was well into my 20s that I could even begin to unwind some of the awful twisted knots that passed for my heart, and began to develop some kind of spiritual awareness.

during the early, fledgling days of my first overtly spiritual process, I began to realize, with some kind of dim clarity but a real inner surety, that everything I'd lived through in my youth was necessary, from one angle, to bring me to the kind of clarity, compassion, humility, strength, and insights into the human heart and the nature of suffering that were definitely in the forefront of my personality.

it was a real turning point, to understand that:

1) whatever suffering I'd gone through was not at all random or even, from a karmic perspective, “unfair”, but rather a kind of honing of my being and a profound teaching to my soul

and 2) I hadn't suffered in vain – because I knew what it was like to confront life and death and loss and abuse and a kind of shattering of any illusion of security in this world, I was strangely equipped to be of help to others in a similar position.

as I grew older and more accustomed to the uncomfortableness of 'spiritual' life (in my 20s and into my 30s, I wouldn't even use the word 'god', ever, in conversation or even to myself – I was so angry with the divine for the crappy hand it had dealt me!), I began to recognize that the people in my first spiritual community all had this same attribute in common – they had all been, in one way or another, where I had been and not only had they lived to tell about it, and to lead happy lives, but they were constantly volunteering to help other people, new to recovery and spirituality and so on, out of the same kinds of pits they themselves had once inhabited.

it dawned on me, somewhere along the way, that the spiritual path of self-healing depends on being of service to others.

it's when we're most helpful to others, and most concerned with the well-being of other people, that we completely forget about our own hurts and traumas, depressions and egoisms.

I saw it demonstrated for years, all around me, and towards me, before I even had words to articulate this kind of nobility of spirit, the serviceful way of being in the world that moved my heart (and me to tears) many times in my early, awkward days of spiritual flailing. people who had themselves suffered unspeakable horrors were so incredibly kind to me, a frightened, depressed, timid, awkward young woman! it never ceased to amaze me how generous they were – especially when I heard some of their stories and the traumas they had suffered in earlier times.

I'm really grateful for having been exposed to the divine working through people who have suffered hugely in their lives. it really taught me a lot about the power of service, and surrender, and a kind of humility in the face of incredible suffering – that suffering is also part of the nature of this planet and, as such, part of god's nature as well – and only made me stronger in my conviction to pursue spirituality through my life.

I didn't want to 'get enlightened' or have supernatural experiences, or whatever – I wanted to be able to help other people the way that so many people, ahead of me on a spiritual path, had given me hope, support, inspiration, and unconditional love no matter what I did or said, or didn't do, or didn't say.

since spirituality took me a little deeper into life than the surface layers, and I've had the good fortune to witness supernatural miracles and be exposed to different powerful spiritual experiences, my commitment to being of service to others has only grown.

these days it may take many more forms than I would have imagined, from being a conduit for miraculous healing energy for others, or sharing some divine knowledge that's of real help to another person, or feeding the homeless people on the streets of my home town, or taking care of whoever's in front of me in need…. but the underlying principle is the same.

I think spirituality is a gradual process of awareness needs, kind of like the Hierarchy of Need – first you want it for yourself, to heal yourself or answer some deep inner gnawing questions. then you want to help other people. then you really want to understand the deeper truth of what's happening in this world (and at the unseen levels). once you have that understanding, life HAS to become service - there just is no other way, at the ultimate stages, like with Jesus, or the Buddha.

for Scooter & all

2007-07-03T13:02:00.001-07:00

Alx at fire
Originally uploaded by alxindia

from the Maha Bharata, when a character is asked by a sage, "so what's the news?"

"The material world is like a frying pan.

The Sun is the fire, the day and nights are the fuel.

The passing seasons are the stirring ladle and Time is the cook.

All living entities are being thus fried in this pan.

This is the real news of what is happening in the material world, which is a miserable place full of ignorance."

I have to keep remembering -- in every good drama, there have to be really successful and compelling villains as well as the noble heroes. otherwise, there's no conflict. and without conflict, there's no story..............................

wild Q & A

2007-06-30T00:35:00.000-07:00

okay, yes, I admit it, I do hang out on digital spiritual discussion groups -- sharpens my satsang wits and teaches me a lot about how to frame different spiritual issues and challenging matters. keeps my finger on the pulse of how erstwhile 'spiritual' people, who aren't necessarily sold on the yogic truths of ancient India, view these kinds of paths.

here's an excerpt from an exchange -- the questions belong to a sweet, slightly aggressive guy I met in some group online (in an undisclosed location). *grinning*

hope it's enjoyable....!

So I ask why is India so backward?

I think the saints would ask the same question – from a different angle – about the West. like Mother Theresa said, “in the West you have financial wealth but spiritual poverty.”

India — from that view – is the reverse. sprititually, it's unbelievably wealthy – they've kept the secrets in a beautiful, deep way that a younger, less spiritually mature West would have trashed long ago. now they're releasing many of those secrets and the yogis who carry them, to reinstitute the divine principles, abilities, and love – the real love – back in the world again. it's our birthright, you might say. I would definitely say this.

but I understand that you're referring to the rampant poverty and over-population, environmental gutting and so on that faces modern India.

I can say that I've heard Paramahansa Yogananda, one of the greatest yogis of modern times, mention that India made the mistake, several hundreds of years ago, of ONLY focusing on the spiritual and completely neglecting the material as a result.

nothing lofty at all, he was quite clear that this was, collectively, an error on the part of the people and spiritual culture of India. his comment was that India has had to undergo some extreme poverty to balance the karma of that mistake – but that India would again rise to being one of the wealthiest (materially) countries in the world.

it seems improbable to us today, but it was only 500 years ago that South India was THE wealthiest empire on the entire planet.

so, make of that what you will. I tend to look at long cycles and try to figure out what the karmas involved are, for communities, states, nations….. but that's just my personal quirky habit. other people zero in on the immediate and draw their own conclusions.

Why is there a formal stratification of the population into classes that include a class that is untouchable?

the caste system is 'supposed' to be illegal in modern India but is still perpetuated. personally, I think it's part of that unfortunate karma facing India – and of course it has, ultimately, to fade out altogether.

but gosh, how superior are we, now that we've abolished slavery in our nation – a mere 150 years back……….!? (and have instituted perfectly fair economic and racial treatment of every individual in our enlightened American society? oy vey!)

Why when these Yogi's, these saints, have been in and have originated from India for thousands and thousands of years does a country like the United States which was started from scratch just several hundred years ago with no Yogi's totally dominate India in every meaningful expression of physical world power?

vaastu.

also, time cycles.

also, karma.

also – balance in the creation. (India has the spiritual wealth, America has created material wealth. now it's time to intermingle, each getting the best the other has to offer.)

although I'm confused – what makes you think that America has never had yogis?

Is it perhaps that the Yogi's say well it is maya anyway it is all illusion so why bother?

I think some of them do have this attitude, and I'm not sold that it's a helpful attitude. perhaps that's why I don't advocate the Vedantist point of view (ie, it's all maya, so what difference does the suffering make).

anyone with half a brain can see that spiritual depth has to include healing the suffering in the world, on ALL levels, not only lofty spiritual aims, otherwise what's the point? love is love; it HAS to act to relieve suffering, whether that's giving a spiritual healing to someone's soul or feeding a homeless person on the street.

Or is it that perhaps they have invented some other limiting decision thought form that justifies their inaction to alter the above fact situation or are they in fact powerless to alter the above situation?

or maybe they're so generous that they're trying to let humanity wake the f*&k up and figure it out for themselves – what good is the lesson if someone wiser than you steps in and fixes it all, magically and instantly??????????????????

from the yogic perspective, all the suffering is happening as a kind of soul lesson to each individual soul. from the yogic perspective, the divine is always fair, and each of us is living in and subject to the laws of the divine's court whether we know it or not.

for instance, how many rapists, dictators, thugs, murderers, etc., have there been in human history (even just the famous ones, we can name, let alone the nameless hordes like Gengis Khan's or Caesar's troops)? TONS.

you think they don't reincarnate and pay back the heinous karmic debt they've accrued in a lifetime spent torturing other people and causing suffering, agony, death, starvation, heartbreak and so on? what fate would be good enough for Hitler to come back and experience?

the yogic saints, the real ones, not the charlatans, look at a person or group of people (like a nation) and IMMEDIATELY see their entire soul graph – whatever incarnations that person had, lifetime to lifetime, form to form.

to them, the suffering today makes sense on the level that all the suffering people are, in fact, unwittingly paying their karmic bills.

what is beautiful about the saints is that even though they see the mountains of debt a person owes, they will do their maximum, even take that debt on, themselves, personally, as an act of love to help people get through their karmas faster and not have to suffer so much.

unlike normal people, the saints see both sides of the reality – and are able to alter the course of events in lives all over the world through their selfless sacrifice, their willingness to eat the pain of the world to help the world out of its insanity.

It seems like the Yogi's have already responded to the question “what if we are dead” with more or less indifference to the situation and that they are content to do their magic and miracles on a personal entertainment type basis and have otherwise refused to play.

I think, judging from this statement, that you've never come into contact with a real yogi of this caliber.

'indifferent' is the last word in the dictionary I would use to describe a yogi. next to 'content.'

the saints I have met in my life, and I've been blessed to know 4 unbelievable supernatural souls well enough to say this, are anything but indifferent – they are COMPLETELY passionate about this world and the souls who inhabit it to the point that they have sacrificed any semblance of a 'normal' life to work 24-7 (and I'm not exaggerating) to help people on a massive scale.

my own teacher in India – I have never seen a time, ever, when he is not completely on duty, working to the maximum of his capacity to help people wake up rapidly. not only on the spiritual level, but he does unbelievable service to the poor, the starving, the homeless, the infirm in our local area in India – he takes care of people the corrupt Indian government wouldn't even look twice at, or wouldn't miss if they died of starvation.

I have seen saints behave in a Christ-like manner – only living, breathing, exuding, sharing love, no matter what crap or garbage people throw at them (and people ALWAYS throw their own crap at the saints, it's natural) – even to the point of sacrificing their lives to do nothing but help humanity.

as they say in India, unless you're a saint it's hard to understand the saints.

this isn't a coy statement, it's just that it's nearly inconceivable for most people (especially, I'm sorry to say, Western industrialized nation denizens) to fathom the depth of commitment and selflessness the saints have. we literally can't understand someone who only lives to help others – we're always looking for the catch, the lie, the trick, the 'aha! see! they couldn't REALLY live up to that!' gossip.

in terms of magic and miracles on an 'entertainment basis' – it's really important, I think, to understand WHY the saints demonstrate miracles. you think it's a kind of fun? an entertainment? a self-indulgent something or other?

no WAY.

why did Jesus Christ show so many miracles during his time in the Middle East? was he a grand-stander?

no way.

the miracle energy – the manipulation of the five elements of creation (earth, fire, sky, water, air) – is what the soul came from. the human soul recognizes itself when it's shown a real miracle. it's a short-cut to stimulate the soul's awareness of its own divine light, and to create the purification in a person necessary for them to take serious steps to do the hard work of spiritual sadhana to wash out their karmas. and be, once again, a clear mirror of the divine's light, not a partially visible mirror covered with layers of dust.

there's a depth to the miracles that is itself a kind of miracle. and there's a super-important reason the saints need to show them, especially in this time, especially to people alive today.

Jesus was definitely NOT frivolous – and his miracles, his energy, his divine blessing, his enlightenment, in all of us, is coming again after 2000 years. you could say, more accurately, that the miracles are a kind of open invitation to rejoin the Christ energy.

What does Sai Baba say?

I don't know what Sai Baba says, he's isn't my guru.

Shirdi Sai Baba (who died in 1918) is, however, my guru, and he was quite eloquent on these subjects. and he showed TONS of miracles during his lifetime, always to help heal the people around him or those generations that came after (similar to Jesus).

I am sure it will sound magnificient and genuinely wise and higher beingly and I bet it will also be inert in some way i.e. nothing will be changed by the speaking of it. What is that?

if nothing changes by speaking of the miracles and the human condition, of helping end the suffering and the religious fighting, the broken hearts and the poverty of the human spirit around the world, then someone's not doing a proper job of explaining the links between all of these things, yet.

I hope, of course I hope, that something changes in peoples' understanding and awareness when I talk about these challenging subjects with an open heart and some of the knowledge I feel I gained during my years in India – and I've staked my life on the understanding that, at least in time, EVERYTHING will change as a result of this knowledge! – but if it doesn't happen now, then I must not be saying it well.

there is a saying in Sanskrit – 'satya jaya te!' – the truth always wins in the end! – and I'm betting that it's true. but it may be a long haul until The End....!

this kind of day...

2007-06-25T12:17:00.001-07:00

Ganesha
Originally uploaded by alxindia

when there's nothing much in particular to say, except my deep wish that all obstacles to enlightenment be removed for as many people who need that dissolution of all things blocking the way.

I love this picture of Ganesha, the representative of the energy that removes obstacles (especially to the Mother Divine). he's the great siddhic master, as well.

his prayer is something I say many times a day:

om suklam bharadaram
vishnum sashivarnam
chattoor bhujam
prasanna vadanam
dhyi yayt sarva vignopa shantayay

om agajannana padmarkam gajanana
mahar nisham
anay kadantanam
bhaktanam
yay kadantam mupass mahay.....

balance

2007-06-14T13:58:00.000-07:00

this beautiful statement from a Native American woman practicing the traditional ways came up in a spiritual discussion group and I wanted to share it. the context was a Hare Krishna, an Indian man from India, was asking this Native lady about her beliefs and practices, and is there a governing belief in one god in her tradition.... she wrote:

Nowadays, you will hear some native Iroquois speak of a "Great Spirit" but they are by and large Christianized. One almighty god does not work in traditional Iroquois mindset as we work in a balance between twos: sky/earth, man/woman, youth/elder. If you have only one of something, there is no balance.

what a great, simple exposition of dualism and how the opposite forces operate in this world! Vedantists, beware....!

angels on the streets

2007-06-04T15:47:00.001-07:00

muffins into baskets
Originally uploaded by alxindia

one of the most beautiful divine characters I ever encountered was while feeding home-baked muffins to the homeless people on the streets of Santa Cruz, CA.

our meditation group just walks around and hands food out to the guys and women who're living on the streets -- many are strung out on drugs or mentally ill and can't make it to the homeless shelters for a decent meal.

many of these folks just slip through the cracks, and it breaks my heart.

the photo with this entry is what our rag-tag Church of Baba's Kitchen looks like -- loading muffins out of the back of a car! -- into baskets and boxes, and carrying them around looking for hungry people. (you don't have to look far, either, on the streets of Santa Cruz.) the muffins go over big with the people who often don't have teeth enough, or in good enough shape, to handle crunchy foods like apples.

this is me and Marselino, one of our church members (-- despite his gorgeous shades, he's NOT the guy in the story, below) ....

one day as we were feeding people and carting our basket of muffins around, my husband Jonathan and I came across an elegant, humbly but cleanly dressed, VERY hungry-looking man on the street, he was red-headed, slightly grizzled, seemingly part-black, part-white, slim and leaning on a cane. he wore dark shades.

we gave him a couple muffins, & he seemed pretty blown away by the gesture.

he thanked us for the muffins, for this kindness, in a tender, melodious voice and asked us what HE could do for US! it was very sacred-feeling.

we replied, 'nothing, we just want your love, your blessing.'

he said, 'oh, you definitely have my blessing!' and went on to say, "my daddy always taught me to respect everyone you meet as yourself, because they ARE your self."

Jonathan: "that's deep."

the man: "that's DEEPER than deep."

(at this point my hair is standing up and I know this is no ordinary character.)

he told us a bit about his life, he had traveled the world, was a Vietnam war vet who'd lost 2 brothers in the war and his mother had died of a heart attack from the shock of her 2 sons' deaths.... it was very moving.

as we were about to leave him (so he could eat his muffins), I asked him his name.

he replied: "my friends call me Red....."

and then he ripped off the sunglasses, revealing, and I'm not exaggerating, the MOST piercing, intense blue eyes I've ever seen on another human being -- completely off this world, like sapphires with sunlight behind them --

and continued in an other-worldly, deep, resonant voice that still rings in my head when I think about him:

"... but my name is GABRIEL!!!!!!!!!!!!"

well, okay then!
we stumbled away, shaken to the core, message received.

I didn't look back to see if he was still standing there or had disappeared into thin air (wouldn't have surprised me a bit)!

what an unexpected grace, to receive a darshan like that!

today's research...

2007-05-31T22:54:00.001-07:00

johnedwards07
Originally uploaded by alxindia

found me 'over the hill' as we say in Santa Cruz, CA, meaning, 'in Silicon Valley'. there are VERY few things that would bring me out of my home temple in the redwood forest of home, but John Edwards coming to San Jose State today for a speech was worth crawling out of the woods for.

Jonathan and I are doing a kind of political-spiritual research on the candidates for the American presidential election in '08, trying to check them out closely and in person when possible. despite what impressions you can get from tv or youtube, or over the airwaves via radio -- there is no substitute for being in the room with a person to grok what's really going on with them.

we went being peripherally Edwards supporters -- we also seriously appreciate Barack Obama and are head-over-heels in love with Gravel.

& we went by way of research:
is this man sincere and heartful?
does he have real vision or is he mouthing whatever platitudes and promises seem expedient?
is he taking a real stand for issues we care about?
does he care about poor people in this country? what about around the world?
how does he view America, in the big picture? as a deserving empire? as an embarrassment around the world? as a bully? a leader of peace and freedom? an exporter of genuine democracy?

most importantly -- is this a real leader?

I was really impressed with his voice, first off -- Edwards sounds clear, sharp, focused, serious but not overbearing, perfectly aware of the atrocious blunders this country has made in the last several years but not angry-sounding. he's positive, has conviction, isn't afraid to make a strong stand, and is obviously very funny as well.

what struck me watching and listening to him was his unswerving commitment to help eradicate poverty in the USA and abroad. I felt that this was someone who could stand strongly on a particular issue and will go to the mats for it.

what also struck me was his confidence and inner strength -- while other candidates are still positioning themselves and evolving into the kinds of candidates they want to be -- a necessary and beautiful part of the process, I think, I'm not at all against transformation! -- Edwards seems to know who he is and what he represents.

in this day of the relentless soundbites and spin, of pandering and posturing and smart men suddenly going mealy-mouthed out of fear of "offending" (whom, exactly? special interest groups? the 28%ers? Christian fundamentalists? "the People"????) -- it's a HUGE relief to see someone real.

clear, simple, to the point, heartful and confident.

seems like leadership material to me.

the clincher was one line he gave about the Democratic party and its complete fearfulness -- "if the Democrats cease to be the party that speaks up for the poor, the underprivileged, and those who don't usually GET a voice in this country, then we have lost our soul."

maybe I'm just a sucker for a strong guy with good hair who talks openly & earnestly about the soul -- but I'm impressed enough to keep listening to what Edwards has to offer this country.

Ode to Duty

2007-05-24T12:14:00.001-07:00

Hanuman & swing
Originally uploaded by alxindia.

STERN Daughter of the Voice of God!
O Duty! if that name thou love
Who art a light to guide, a rod
To check the erring, and reprove;
Thou, who art victory and law
When empty terrors overawe;
From vain temptations dost set free;
And clam'st the weary strife of frail humanity!

There are who ask not if thine eye
Be on them; who, in love and truth,
Where no misgiving is, rely
Upon the genial sense of youth:
Glad Hearts! without reproach or blot;
Who do thy work, and know it not:
Oh! if through confidence misplaced
They fail, thy saving arms, dread Power! around them cast.

Serene will be our days and bright,
And happy will our nature be,
When love is an unerring light,
And joy its own security.
And they a blissful course may hold
Even now, who, not unwisely bold,
Live in the spirit of this creed;
Yet seek thy firm support, according to their need.

I, loving freedom, and untried:
No sport of every random gust,
Yet being to myself a guide,
Too blindly have reposed my trust:
And oft, when in my heart was heard
Thy timely mandate, I deferred
The task, in smoother walks to stray;
But thee I now would serve more strictly, if I may.

Through no disturbance of my soul,
Or strong compunction in me wrought,
I supplicate for thy control;
But in the quietness of thought:
Me this unchartered freedom tires;
I feel the weight of chance desires:
My hopes no more must change their name,
I long for a repose that ever is the same.

Stern Lawgiver! yet thou dost wear
The Godhead's most benignant grace;
Nor know we anything so fair
As is the smile upon thy face:
Flowers laugh before thee on their beds
And fragrance in thy footing treads
Thou dost preserve the stars from wrong;
And the most ancient heavens, through Thee, are fresh and strong.

To humbler functions, awful Power!
I call thee: I myself command
Unto thy guidance from this hour;
Oh! let my weakness have an end!
Give unto me, made lowly wise,
The spirit of self-sacrifice;
The confidence of reason give;
And, in the light of truth, thy Bondman let me live!

- William Wordsworth

negativity in creation

2007-05-23T12:54:00.000-07:00

I think it's a delicate subject, and one that people have very strong opinions about on all sides of the spiritual spectrum -- what I've seen in the New Age and other spiritual systems (including some Eastern meditation teachings) is that there's a studied avoidance of the question of negativity, or evil per se.

the prevailing thinking is 'well, if I think about it, then I'll create it. so I refuse to think about it.'

every spiritual master I've known, worth their salt, mentions that trying to deny that negativity exists actually saps more energy from us than simply dealing with it.

my experience is this:

if we want to understand what's really happening in this world, and on this planet, our comprehension has to include a real assessment of the negativity and evil actions in this world.

why? so we can learn how to transform it into high divine, high positivity.

every example of Jesus (in the conventional gospels that form the New Testament)in terms of negative spirits and people performing evil actions involves a transformation, a healing, of those characters. he didn't just turn a blind eye, or react with denial ('it doesn't exist so I won't give it any attention') or fear -- he just handled it, and turned it into a healing example.

this is true with the Indian yogi-saints, as well. when faced with high negativity, or people performing evil acts, they knew how to change that negativity into beauty.

surely this is a challenge that lies before each of us, today, regardless of what tradition or belief system we're coming from.

action or reaction?

2007-05-06T15:41:00.000-07:00

someone posted this on a spiritual discussion site, and I thought it was super-brilliant, and worth repeating here.....

I walked with my friend, a Quaker, to the news stand the other night, and he bought a paper, thanking the newsie politely. The newsie didn't even acknowledge it.

"A sullen fellow, isn't he?", I asked.

"Oh, he's that way every night", shrugged my friend.

"Then why do you continue to be so polite to him?", I asked.

"Why not?", inquired my friend. "Why should I let him decide how I'm going to act?"

As I thought about this incident later, it occurred to me that the important word was "act". My friend acts towards people; most of us react toward them.

He has a sense of inner balance which is lacking in most of us - he knows who he is, what he stands for, how he should behave. He refuses to return incivility, because then he would no longer be in command of his own conduct.

When we are enjoined in the Bible to return good for evil, we look upon this as a moral injunction -- which it is. But it is also a psychological prescription for our emotional health.

Nobody is unhappier than the perpetual reactor. His center of emotional gravity is not rooted within himself, where it belongs, but in the world outside him. His spiritual temperature is always being raised or lowered by the social climate around him, and he is a mere creature at the mercy of these elements.

Praises give him a feeling of euphoria, which is fasle, because it does not last and it does not come from self-approval. Criticism depresses him more than it should, because it confirms his own secretly shaky opinion of himself. Snubs hurt him, and the merest suspicion of unpopularity in any quarter rouses him to bitterness.

A serenity of spirit cannot be achieved until we become the masters of our own action and attitudes. To let another determine whether we shall be rude or gracious, elated or depressed, is to relinquish control over our own personalities, which is ultimately all we possess. The only true possession is self-possession.

Author Unknown

another tribute

2007-04-12T12:52:00.000-07:00

I'm sorry to write that Kurt Vonnegut, one of my all-time heroes -- especially as a young teenager -- who shaped the values of a generation (starting with the publication of Slaughterhouse Five during the Vietnam War)-- died at 84 years old. and so it goes.

there are many, many, MANY excerpts worth quoting from this man who survived the Allied bombing of Dresden during WWII, battled suicidal depression his entire life, and helped change the face of modern literature by insisting that people be nice to one another, but this one, from "God Bless You, Mr. Rosewater" is my favorite, today:

"Hello, babies. Welcome to Earth. It's hot in the summer and cold in the winter. It's round and wet and crowded. At the outside, babies, you've got about a hundred years here. There's only one rule that I know of, babies - 'God damn it, you've got to be kind.'"

God Bless You, Mr. Vonnegut.
godspeed.
come back soon, the world needs you.

Easter muffin brigade!

2007-04-09T17:35:00.001-07:00

Easter07-everybody WAVE!
Originally uploaded by alxindia.

well, it was a beautiful way to spend Easter Sunday. The Church of Baba's Kitchen was in full force, with groups of us running around downtown Santa Cruz feeding the homeless people on the streets.

"whatever you do for the least of my brothers, you do for Me." -- Big
Boss #1

there were 12 of us from our satsang & meditation group who showed up
in Santa Cruz this morning -- many with dozens of home-made muffins.
two women made home-made tuna sandwiches, packed in lunch sacks
with a can of soda and some chips. (the Easter bunny didn't forget to
show up, either -- there were festive little candy sacks, as well!)
there were bags of apples -- it was a lot to shlep, at the outset, we
were staggering around the streets, carrying all this stuff......

we went around the downtown Santa Cruz area on foot, combing the
streets and targeting hungry-looking people, and there were plenty of
them. we had 30 meal bags; they were gone by the end of the Pacific
Garden mall. finally we wound up at a park where the homeless
congregate, and gave the rest away.

it's amazing how you learn as you go -- someone had the inspiration
to give out apples, and only the younger generation of homeless
people really wanted them. the older gen has failing teeth -- many
missing or in such disrepair that they can't EAT apples at
all!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (good to know for the future....)

after it was all over, and we were completely out of food, a young
woman -- shaky, beautiful, tentative, came over and asked us if we
had anything to eat, she'd missed dinner (at the shelter) and was
starving, as well as diabetic and having sugar problems from lack of
food.

we all pawed around in our bags, looking hopeless, and one guy,
with extreme presence of mind, pulled out a $20 bill and gave it to
her, saying, "well, this is a simple enough problem to fix!" & that
young woman burst -- burst -- into tears and at first was too freaked
out, in a kind of shock, to even accept the money. she did take it
and walked off, weeping and dazed.

it was really moving, esp for people who've never done this kind of
seva before.

Jonathan made a big vat of tapioca pudding (like the sweet milk
pudding Baba is so fond of?) and took it, in advance, to the homeless
shelter. they were so happy -- had put it on the lunch menu for the
people, already, because he'd called to see if they'd accept it. it
was enough, I think, for about 50 people.

the day was glorious -- one of those coastal spring days where the
sun is warm and shining, spring is bursting into bloom wherever you
look, and the breezes are a little cool, just a little sharp.

and the people were SO happy to receive the food. it was so
beautiful. it is really an honor to serve Baba & the other Bosses in
this way.

especially on Jesus' big day.

we're looking into how we can be more regular contributors to the
homeless shelter here: a fine organization that feeds about 200
people a day, twice a day, off the streets and also has multiple
small dwellings (with independent kitchens) that house and feed up to
28 people per building. it's homey, and family-oriented, and a
terribly sweet place staffed mostly by former homeless volunteers.
they work so HARD! cooking and cleaning up, washing all the
industrial dishes and food-prep materials, and sweeping, etc. -- and
they're so incredibly cheerful.

you look in their eyes, and you see people who have been so down in
their lives that they're pretty much beyond fear, judgment, and self-
absorption.

I really think a great medicine to the unbelievable amounts of
depression, eating disorders and mental anguish that many Americans
suffer today -- esp in the 'upper classes', so-called -- could be
instantly cured by taking a few turns doing this kind of work on a
regular basis.

it is a kind of bliss -- you can see it on the faces and in the
hearts of the volunteers.

(& a whole lot cheaper than anti-anxiety medications, anti-
depressants, illegal drugs, etc.)

anyway, that's our story, we're stickin' to it.

thanks for letting me share it with you, today!

the cross in the park

2007-04-09T17:33:00.001-07:00

the cross in the park 07
Originally uploaded by alxindia.

or, happy Easter!

this is the park in Santa Cruz where a lot of homeless people congregate. we went out to feed them there (muffins, meals, apples, etc.) and discovered a Christian group barbequeing for the folks, there, too. not only that, but they'd erected this rather splendid cross.

masters: how to know if you've got a good one...

2007-04-07T12:28:00.001-07:00

Jesus Yogi bigger
Originally uploaded by alxindia.

there's a great Kabir poem about how to tell if you've got a real spiritual master or not, and the criteria involves holding your master off a cliff by the ankle (the master's, that is) upside-down, threatening to drop 'em down to a certain death.

if the master in question just laughs, says Kabir, you've probably got a real one........!

*grinning out loud*

on the serious side, though, this is a question that comes up, a lot, in people's lives, especially spiritual 'seekers' and -- I've noticed -- particularly in California. (after all, California has been the hot center for most of the Indian yogis who've come to America, not to mention Shamanic teachers, Buddhists of all traditions, Sufi mystics, Reiki healers, and the whole gamut of healing and esoteric teachings.)

it's all available here in California; and, increasingly, world-wide. you can try them all on for size, read about each teacher, experience their energy, go to a lecture or satsang, buy the book or the CD or the DVD....

& all of this available spiritual knowledge and energy, in my experience, can cause massive and permanent confusion in the very real hearts of highly sincere people looking for god.

so, how can you tell if you've got a real master?

it's true that there are a lot of healers & teachers of differing layers, levels, and angles of spiritual understanding in the world today. it's a great blessing for the planet, since many people are waking up at various levels.

it's difficult to understand any differences between the teachers, their messages and the reality of their teachings, I think, when there are so many choices in the world, and on the surface they all sound good.

my experience, as a spiritual student since the 1980s, is that there are MANY teachers and there are very few true masters.

even with the masters, there are differing levels of capacity and mastery.

some masters, to paraphrase Orwell, are more equal than others.

there are many enlightened souls running around -- but how far does their enlightenment go?

but here is some criteria that might help grok a real master:

* they can soul travel -- ie, leave their physical body for dead, no heartbeat, breath, etc., for a few hours or up to 3 days -- at will. someone who says "oh, I soul travel and visit other realms" -- if the body isn't dead when they're doing this, it's not the maximum level of enlightenment

* they know what is life and what is death and how to traverse the distance between these states effortlessly. (another way of saying 'soul travel'.)

* they are fully enlightened -- they have seen the Mother Divine IN PERSON and talk with Her daily.

* they are willing to share the totality of their enlightenment -- they can introduce OTHER people to the Mother Divine in person.

* they are willing and able to 'eat' the karma of all their students, both present and distant, on a continual basis. they know how to manage the transformation of this karmic energy, turning high negativity into high positive divine soul energy in each soul. (plus, they have to know how to decharge the residue remaining from those transactions.)

* they are willing to share what they themselves know, about the mechanisms of this creation and how the energy really operates, with their students -- ie, they will actively create other masters.

* they are a master of the Five Elements -- can manipulate, physically, the elements of earth, fire, sky, water and air to demonstrate changing one thing to another, or showing high-level manifestations in order to heal people. through the miracle energies, the saints can really change the world. the love itself, in this era, is not enough.

if these criteria aren't demonstrable -- the person may be a great teacher, even a great saint -- but they're not the top top top level of saint available in the world today.

and if they're not at the top top top top level, ie, a purna avatara, why waste your time?

what I've also learned is that certain levels of siddhi, miracle abilities, don't necessarily equate to an enlightened soul.

being involved with the angels, for example, is beautiful -- they represent a major part of this creation and of creating healing/miracles -- but it's also a level of enlightenment where it's easy for holy people to get stuck. really stuck.

many saints get the angels, start showing miracles and sacred beauty in their lives, and their egoism increases (with or without their notice), "oh, I'm talking to angels, oh, I'm involved with the energy of the angels, oh, I must be so great!" -- and they just spin around there instead of moving forward in their spiritual progress. (ie, there are MANY levels of spiritual development beyond the stage of the angels.)

a real master knows how to give someone the angel communications/experiences AND simultaneously keep the student from getting stuck there as they're moving on to the more ambitious goal of dealing with divine souls (like Jesus, Shirdi Baba, Buddha, etc.) on the way to the Mother Divine.

& that's not so easy. it is a MASSIVE undertaking.

or course, if all else fails -- ie, you have met a master but aren't sure, based on what you've heard or observed, if that person meets these criteria, you can always apply the Kabir test.

(if you dare!!!!!)

remember: if they laugh, you've probably found a real one.

morning program

2007-04-05T00:23:00.000-07:00

here's a lovely morning program -- it's served as the way I experience those first waking moments of consciousness, every morning, for the last several years:

upon realizing that you're awake, start chanting any prayer you really love, asking the divine to use you as its instrument for the day.

the Guru Mantra is the prayer I use in the mornings, reminding myself that I am completely NOT in control of my own day and whatever happens is really in god's hands. the best I can do is surrender to god's will for my day, and be a willing instrument of healing, love, truth, and hard work, no matter what's happening. and to take care of whoever comes in front of me, or whatever situations materialize throughout the day, to the best of my ability.

starting the day off this way, acknowledging the creator/creatrix, and putting myself completely in their hands, makes each day a sacred adventure.

there are literally days when I can recognize, actively, that every person with whom I come into contact is speaking to me as a representative of the divine..... and that every situation that occurs is either a reflection of my own karma, or some divine testing, or both, or some opportunity to wash out whatever illusions (like fear, egoism, jealousy, blaming, anger, etc.) I'm carrying.

then there are those other days, when despite the best intentions in the world, I can't see much beyond my own emotions and ideas about how things are...and it seems that the divine is quite far away, or at least, elusive, on those kinds of days of forgetting.

in a nutshell, there's the human condition. we are divine characters who are so fogged over, at any given time, that we completely abrogate our divine natures and forget what incredible light creatures we are. (and often act like idiots out of that forgetfulness! *grinning* )

for human beings to wake up, acknowledge their soulful connection to god, and set an inner intention to function as a being in the flow of the divine will -- it's a powerful step toward recognizing the inner divine that is always present within us, whether we are consciously aware of this, at any given moment, or not.

one final thought, a joke I've loved for years and STILL laugh at:

Do you know how to make god laugh?

Tell him/her your plans for the day!!!!!!!

the last refuge

2007-03-25T15:28:00.001-07:00

Shirdi Baba statue
Originally uploaded by alxindia.

here's the living Shirdi Baba statue, in the temple building in Penukonda.

not much to say except that on this last trip, I was mostly too sick (massive head cold and chest cold and mucus production) to visit the Big Boss very much. I stayed in my room and tried to breathe, rest, sleep, heal.

but he's always in my mind, always in my thoughts and my heart.

it was a huge relief, after about 4 weeks of being in the room, and then still too weak and wobbly to make the trek to his temple, to start visiting the temple again and making my deeply grateful pranams to his silver padukas.

bolo Sainath maharaja ki jai!

Penukonda farewell

2007-03-25T15:25:00.001-07:00

Baba Temple sunset
Originally uploaded by alxindia.

this is the last stop before leaving the ashram, a final farewell to the main temple.

after spending so many years on these grounds, every time I step into this temple I am flooded with tons of spontaneous memories -- how many nights we used to sleep on the floor here, until 5 a.m. when the guards would come in and flip on the fluorescent tube lights -- a big shock when you're deep asleep!; how many students used to cram in here and do japa meditations pretty much all night, for months on end; how many ground-breaking talks from Sri Kaleshwar have happened in this humble, simple temple.

my life is a kind of compendium of experiences pre-Penukonda, during Penukonda days, and post-Penukonda. ('during Penukonda' meaning, the years I spent most intensively there, from 2000-2005.)

most of the pre-Penukonda days have faded into a dim fog of memory, a surreal dusk of 'did that ever really happen in my life?' moments.

the 'during Penukonda' category is fraught with miracles and mystical fragments that live in my heart like precious jewels I take out and polish frequently, holding up to the light and catching my breath in awe and thanks.

the post-Penukonda category -- well, it's a huge adventure.

many times in my mind, however, -- though I'm living in the world of things and people, helping out by teaching and healing, -- I'm really connecting back again to this temple, this ground, the mountain you see rising behind the temple building, the spiritual power that permeates this ashram and radiates from it.

it is my soul home, my spiritual home.

om sweet home in penukonda

2007-03-02T03:33:00.000-08:00

om sweet home in penukonda
Originally uploaded by alxindia.

someone snapped this photo of Jonathan and me in our room here in Penukonda the other day... I wanted to post it to give the flavor of -- as one student here called it -- "Ma & Pa Kettle In Their Home In India!"

it's astounding to me, sometimes, when I think about it (which isn't often, these days, since the divine energy in Penukonda is so thick right now that it's hard to think, at all, about anything), that Jonathan and I have lived in this same little room, off and on, since the winter of 2000.

when we first came here, the floors were raw cement and construction crews were pounding brick and mortar and concrete and god knows what all else, day and night, on the floors going up in our building, right over our heads!

I used to chuckle when people in America would tell us, "oh, I so envy you, being able to live in a peaceful, quiet ashram in India..." and I would especially remember those misguided statements, with a particularly acidic & twisted sense of the absurd, in the middle of intense meditation programs, going 10 hours a day or more, while the construction crews were banging hammers (and what sounded like dropping BAGS of hammers) directly over our heads, in the room just above ours, until just past midnight, some nights. boom! boom! BOOOOOOM!!!!!

'peaceful, quiet ashram.....' yeah, right. in someone else's dreams, maybe!

if I've learned anything in all the years I've spent immersed in Indian spirituality, it is that paradox reigns supreme.

meditating in the midst of a construction zone has its merits -- if you can meditate here, you can meditate anywhere comfortably, no matter what is going on.

people who finick and fuss about having to have a perfectly peaceful, quiet meditation space in order to achieve their profound spiritual states have no idea what they're really missing, in my opinion! I mean, yes of course, we all enjoy the pure silence in meditation, and it's a real luxury when you can find that -- but knowing, internally, that your point of focus is so unshakeable that an earthquake could happen and you'd still be doing your meditation no matter what, is an important part of spiritual development.

anyway, having survived all of that, at least the side of the ashram we're currently staying in is more peaceful, the construction having been completed some time ago. now the new folks living in newer buildings on the other side of the grounds are getting to have the "boom! boom! BOOM!" meditation training.

I hope you'll think of us here, in our little room with our little kitchen (5' x 5') and bathroom, sipping our morning coffee, staring out over the incredible greenery of the sprawling palm and neem trees that are running amok outside our front door's balcony, enjoying the divine energy of this Shiva Rathri time and talking about the finer points of divine knowledge (when we're not in silence, meditating).

om shanti!

musing Penukonda

2007-03-02T03:21:00.000-08:00

group smaller
Originally uploaded by alxindia.

(this photo is of Jonathan and some dear American friends/family...)

being back here after a year, and seeing how the Soul University is progressing, is an eye-opening experience. about 100 beautiful spiritual students have come to study with Sri Kaleshwar, some of whom were never exposed to formal spiritual training before deciding to join this university.

hearing the level of their studies -- which are sometimes quite grueling -- and listening to the discussions the students here are having is really impressive. they have done their homework (and then some!) and are rapidly chewing on and digesting huge amounts of divine knowledge and understanding.

for me personally, living now mostly in the USA and only visiting Penukonda (on the surface, anyway) once a year or so, it's been a little heart-tugging to see how the advance of time and experience in Penukonda has equipped the students here, while I've been out teaching and not necessarily developing these same areas of knowledge.

at the same time, I recognize that Jonathan and I have -- at the moment -- a particular dharma, which involves teaching Sri Kaleshwar's systems to Western people who otherwise really wouldn't have the chance to be exposed to this knowledge and these energy channels.

chacun a son gout, as the French say.

creating a strong group in the Santa Cruz area is in itself a kind of soul university experience, just from a different angle. and intensity.

a few days ago, I was watching a whole group of students here in Penukonda dropping flowers on the feet of Shirdi Baba (the living statue of him that is the central focus of the main temple). I realized that among the 30 or so in that particular group, about 10 of the people had come from the USA with Jonathan and me, on this trip, or as a result of our work in California. another 5 people are here from Singapore -- each one of them studied with us seriously during our teaching trips there over the last several years.

and now they were all in Penukonda, Californians from all ethnic and racial backgrounds, mingling with Singaporeans of Chinese and Indian descent, at the feet of Shirdi Sai Baba. talk about a glorious melting pot! rishis, every one...!

I noticed the statue was beaming at them all like a grandfather receiving a visit from favorite grandchildren he hasn't seen in a while.

and in my heart -- I felt like a proud mother, so amazed at the depth and the open-hearted capacity of these divine souls, coming as they are, maybe confused about what they're really doing here in India, or being uncertain about protocols or customs, or not feeling well (a lot of purification illnesses have been running), or some combination of all of the above... and yet, they're here, putting flowers at the feet of Shirdi Baba, earnestly, with love writ large on their faces and a kind of luminous peacefulness starting to shine through their eyes.

and I realized, once again, and certainly not for the last time, how great god really is.

how the divine works through each and every person in a unique and unfathomable (yet palpable) way, to bring love and joy, peace and beauty to everyone it touches.

that is the real miracle; I mean, we, each of us, divine flowers that we are, is the real miracle.

once more? Bangalore!

2007-02-08T04:33:00.000-08:00

Sari Palace Shiva
Originally uploaded by alxindia.

well, okay, then -- as Fate would have it, I'm back in India for another round of high divine spiritual study. it's been just a year since Jonathan and I made the trek last year; bringing a few of our dear students/friends from America with us to Sri Kaleshwar's ashram in Penukonda, India.

the festival happening at this time of the year, Maha Shivarathri, is one of the most sublime and spiritually uplifting times of the entire year. it is a time of thinning veils and miraculous endeavors. in India the tradition is to stay up all night, without sleeping, hoping against hope to receive the darshan of Lord Shiva (that is, to see Him in person).

in India it is said that on Shiva Rathri night, every person, every soul on the planet receives a visit from Shiva. if you fell asleep for even a moment on that auspicious night -- well, that was probably the exact time He came to visit you!

in preparation for taking new students to the ashram,we trekked out to Sari Palace yesterday. Sari Palace is a kind of Costco-sized department store that is the Mecca of Indian women's clothing in Bangalore. there are racks and racks and shelves and shelves of exquisite clothing, colors all blending and splashing into one another as you walk around the place trying to orient your eye-sight and focus on whatever you're shopping for.

it's a beautiful place, and one of those endless opportunities to observe the contrast between East and West.

the saleswomen are incredibly serviceful -- they just help people find whatever they're in search of. you sit down, and they bring item after item, draping them all out on a table in front of the customer -- so you can sit, comfortably, and ooh and ahh and examine the cloth, the cut, the style, the color, of each article of clothing before going the next step: trying them on.

I was sitting in the midst of a swirl of feminine activity -- many of our students had come there to shop in order to have the proper Indian clothing required by Kaleshwar's ashram -- it was so much fun, seeing my friends turn into instant Indian princesses!

but the deeper theme was the servicefulness of the saleswomen -- how they would attune to whatever styles and sizes each customer preferred, and then find more and more outfits in a similar vein, smoothly, without any fuss or lapse. it became a kind of symbiotic dance, there in the ladies' wear department of Sari Palace, with each woman finding outfits that suited her individual taste, and each saleswoman taking one or two of the Western ladies under her wing, so to speak, and helping them find what they really wanted.

I, of course, having been through this mill a hundred times before, just sat comfortably on the couch the whole time, offering feedback and suggestions to my radiant Indian Princess friends.

and drinking the chai they kept bringing to me.

ahhhhhhhhhh, another amenity of Indian shopping -- you settle in, get comfortable -- you KNOW it's going to be hours!

and they bring you warm beverages.

when's the last time an American salesperson offered you a cup of hot tea while you're shopping???

it was a graceful, effortless, relaxed adventure. at the end of it, everyone was content (if not down-right thrilled!) with the clothing they'd purchased.

then we went off to the back -- where the real heart and soul of Sari Palace lives.

the most beautiful thing (and the most surreal!) about Sari Palace, of course, is the 65-foot tall statue of Lord Shiva that is the centrepiece of an outdoor Shiva temple, just behind (& adjoined to) Sari Palace.

of course he's EXACTLY in the Southwest. perfect vaastu.

(the story goes that the man who built Sari Palace is a life-long devotee of Shiva, so naturally he built a temple to his favorite deity BEFORE building his store. the entrepreneur knew that Shiva would ensure success of the business -- and it must be true, since other branches of Sari Palace have sprung up in other parts of Bangalore since the original one took off.

that's the brilliance of India: build a temple, first, and then go about your financial business, knowing that the divine will take care of your business needs.)

it was a joy to see all of our students/friends taking the tour of this rather surreal outdoor temple, and getting the darshan of the enormous statue there. he's superbly beautiful, a Shiva all in white, his eyes half-open as he sits cross-legged on his tiger skin, blessing the world.

they've been painting the statue, giving him a fresh coat and beautiful details so that when the Maha Shivarathri festivities start, he's really clean and precise and perfect.

that taste of the Shiva energy really knocked everyone out.

one young woman reported that all of her jewelry was burning and buzzing after coming out of that Shiva temple, even hours later.....

even though we're still in the city of Bangalore, the Shiva energy is calling.

I'm looking forward -- longingly -- to be once again in my soul home, in Penukonda.

even though the Shiva is in everything, all the time, for me, it is in Penukonda during this time of year -- around the New Moon in February -- when the most beautiful and intensely palpable quality of this divine character can be experienced, inhaled, tasted.

Hari Om Namah Shivaya!

hectic December

2007-01-05T18:57:00.000-08:00

skthumpsup
Originally uploaded by alxindia.

is it 2007 yet?

(grinning)

my head is still spinning from December. Sri Kaleshwar came to California, both southern and northern, leading beautiful retreats and giving incredible talks, full of inspiration and knowledge, divine energy and healing.

the Santa Cruz group -- the satsang community that's been growing steadily in strength and dedication over the last few years, here in our local area -- managed to travel together to Joshua Tree and attend the superb and mind-shattering retreat that Sri Kaleshwar conducted there.

it was a hoot -- all of us on the flight together -- we wanted to turn it into a kirtan flight but assumed most of the other passengers wouldn't appreciate it, especially the unhappier-looking ones!

and then piling into rental vans, about 3 times smaller than anticipated, esp in view of us all hauling our huge baggage (chocked full of sweaters and long underwear, since the word was that nights at Joshua Tree this time of year are really cold).... we were practically sitting in one another's laps in a fashion that was strangely reminiscent of traveling in India.

I kept joking we were going to send a clown car to Joshua Tree, you know, one of those tiny little Nova-like vehicles, and out of it pour an endless stream of clowns.......... that joke kinda came true as we packed 6 people into a tiny van loaded with baggage.

plus we had 4 of the 5 Mystic Jamms Band members in our van, and we hauled some instruments along for the ride, too!

think 'Ma & Pa Kettle Make A Spiritual Pilgrimage' coupled with a clown car and a LOT of instruments and lotus-seed malas...........

and you've got a fairly accurate vision of this wild troupe on its way to Joshua Tree.

just after Joshua Tree (plenty of spiritual energy, short on sleep), we all spun around, flew BACK to the Santa Cruz area, and set up to welcome Swami Kaleshwar for his first official public visit to Santa Cruz the next day.

wah!

my mind is still reeling with the incredible blessing and experience of helping to organize the two days with Sri Kaleshwar in our own backyard.

our group -- amazing, stalwart souls, every one! -- did the most amazing hard work to get him here to Santa Cruz and I can say heartfully that the groupism here paid off.

he gave an incredible download of spiritual energy and knowledge to Santa Cruz -- there are a lot of lucky people in this area who've hit the spiritual jackpot, whether they realize it consciously or not.

in the blink of an eye, his visit ended, Christmas came and went, the New Year rolled in.... and we're all still recovering from the whirlwind that is Kaleshwar.

and now, January.

(rubbing my eyes in disbelief.)

Happy New Year, everyone!!

a detour into a tribute

2006-11-11T03:38:00.000-08:00

I don't know -- maybe it's because the Democrats won the American House of Representatives and the Senate over the last few days, and we have a chance to re-establish the principles outlined in the Constitution (not to mention Habeas Corpus), or... well, whatever it is, I'm in a good mood despite the on-going wacky factors in my life lately -- establishing a spiritual community in the midst of America is not, emphatically NOT, all it's cracked up to be! enough to try the patience of a sai.... well, never mind.

my point: I'm feeling good, a little nostalgic, and someone on a digital discussion group happened to ask me about one of my favorite subjects, Robert Heinlein. and another of my favorite subjects -- his 1964 novel called "Stranger In A Strange Land."

I'm a huge Heinlein fan from way back. I think someone first handed me his 'future history' -- an incredible anthology -- when I was 14 years old. I read one short story, was completely and thoroughly and utterly hooked.

I didn't stumble into Stranger in a Strange Land until I was almost 20. that book was one of those epic, life-changing 'aha!' books for me. so much so that I still re-read it, like maybe once a year or so. just to visit the characters, who've become like family over the years, and also to revisit Heinlein's prescient look at human society and the politics of power, and for the unbelievable depth of humor and divine tragedy (and awesome Missouri one-liners) in the story.

that book is quite a classic -- I can't tell you how many people I've encountered in my life who were stunned and then transformed by reading it.

the beginning, I think, is kinda kludgy and dense to read -- but once the story starts rolling, yow. I still have trouble putting it down, am happy to read until the dawn is breaking! -- even though I know the tale all too well and how it all turns out in the end.

I've even read it -- in entirety! -- out loud to a couple people in my life. (mostly boyfriends who didn't like to read much!) cover to cover.

I think it's one of those books that every human being should come into contact with -- or at least, every American should, or maybe the entire populations of Western industrialized nations should.

I grew up in Missouri, as did Heinlein, and one of his heroes, Mark Twain, and I recognize the wry humor and shrewd, laser-sharp observation of people and their habits/behaviors/motivations that one of the characters, Jubal Harshaw (in many ways, Heinlein's alter ego) exhibits. it's super-familiar, and comforting, to me.

I certainly don't wanna spoil it for anyone who hasn't read it -- but I have to say if any one cultural reference has kept coming to mind in all the years I spent around a miraculous spiritual master in India, it is the miracles and the spiritual universality and the unconditional love that the characters in Stranger in a Strange Land finally demonstrate.

when I read the book the first time, I was appalled that people 'just don't live like that!'

it made perfect sense to me, the whole thing, and was exactly how I wanted to live my own life. (which led to a lot of problems in my twenties! since very few people, as I discovered, have similar ideals about humanity and its capabilities...)

I especially longed to be surrounded by people with developed spiritual abilities and the capacity to demonstrate miracles by transforming or creating matter from, apparently, nothing.

having lived in an environment in India where full-scale miracles happen often -- suffice it to say the fictitious experiences described in Stranger were exceeded a thousand-fold, for me, in my own life.

Heinlein himself was a crusty, grumpy guy who just loved to write. he was an invalid a lot of the time (tubercular) and mostly an isolated character. his friends and colleagues were the folks of sci-fi legend; Ray Bradbury, Asimov, Ted Sturgeon, etc. he adored his wife and spent most of his life with her, traveling around the world when his health permitted.

his own spiritual inclinations are something of a mystery -- although he was a voracious reader and the span of his knowledge does show up in various commentaries on world religions in Stranger; commonplace enough now, one can only imagine how radical this book was, on many fronts, in 1964.

I do know a great Heinlein anecdote (he spent the final years of his life about 5 miles from my home, in the same mountains here in Santa Cruz, so one hears things now and then about him) -- of all his books (and MANY are unbelievably genius works on par with Stranger), Stranger in a Strange Land prompted tons of fan mail, especially in the '60s when people were having their minds blown by the concepts in it.

one local woman wrote him a letter, gushing (as one would be prone to do) about the depth of the book, asking if he had some 'special channel' or way of getting his information about the universe and how things work, spiritually -- and Heinlein wrote her back saying that if she paid money for the book, he was happy because he got a royalty, and if it entertained her on top of his getting a percentage of the sale, then he was doubly happy. period.

he wrote to entertain, and didn't have any illusions about his role as a writer.

(nonetheless, in my opinion, he was a kind of amazing soul -- a little extraordinary character who was very much in touch with 'the universe', whether he knew it consciously or not. and none of his works underscores this more than Stranger in a Strange Land. Time Enough For Love is another in that league, as is The Moon Is A Harsh Mistress.)

okay, it's late and I'm just ridiculously long-winded.

I'll end with a quote from Stranger:

"he's as sweet as a stolen kiss and as weird as suspenders on a snake."

and the band played on...........

2006-10-24T14:01:00.000-07:00

JammsGP06
Originally uploaded by alxindia.

well, so here we all were, at Guru Purnima, this year -- one of the greatest days in my life over the last year and a half.

it was an incredibly high and holy day -- we opened up our home temple to the public, for people to come and receive free healings, enjoy a kirtan/bhajans concert with The Mystic Jamms, and attend a homa (fire ceremony) together.

we started off the morning by doing an abishek of our little Shirdi Baba statue -- it was an INCREDIBLE experience, huge high energy and a whole group of Americans, who'd never witnessed an abishek before, receiving the blessing and the energy as though they'd done it all their lives.

ah, the USA -- Mahamaya Loka -- it causes great huge blessings to the whole area, and it also triggers the Maya to respond and react in Its own way.

the next thing was teaching some beautiful spiritual knowledge to a group of about 30 people here in the garden near our house -- and that was when the neighbors started getting restless.......

we did a free healing day, again, on the following weekend and, well, yikes.

in the middle of the kirtan, one of our neighbors starting playing heavy metal music as loud as she could, with all her windows thrown open -- just in case we missed the point!

so we stopped the kirtan and went on with the healings and a group meditation later in the day.

the incident prompted a visit from our landlord, which was completely comical in its tragically funny script: he was astounded at how NICE all the people were (hey! it was a bunch of white-clad, mala-wearing, pie-munching siddhas! of COURSE we're nice people!) and, well, the neighbors didn't appreciate all the people coming in......

and, well, "at least you're not running a meth lab!" he said, helpfully.

(geez, at LEAST, not that.)

but the upshot was: no more teaching in and around our home, Frost Cottage. period.

(despite plunging us into severe financial disorder, given this stricture.)

it was another interesting twist in the experience of bringing the high divine energy into a place that can barely stand it -- any time there is high positivity, immediately the negativity is interested and wants to play, to divert or pervert or destroy the divinity.

so we got to see this principle playing out, in a graphic display.

(but, hey, at least we're not running a METH lab!!!!!!!!)

and not only that, but we were reduced to scrambling to change our schedule of classes and offerings (already published on flyers and the internet by then), to find peoples' homes where we could still offer the workshops and classes......

so the last few months have been rocky in the extreme.

we're pretty philosophical about it, all the shakiness and feeling that we're standing on slippery sands -- it's clear to me that this is the price one pays, à la Big Boss Jesus, for bringing the powerful light into this world of entrenched illusion and tamas.

at the same time, it was clearly another kind of wake-up call from the OTHER Big Boss (giggling), Shirdi Sai Baba, in whose service my life and my husband's, Jonathan, is dedicated:

it's time to expand.

our cottage -- a tiny 800 square feet, counting 2 sleeping lofts! -- has been full to the gills with the people coming on these public days and for the larger classes... almost full to bursting.

it's been a little like the clown car -- you know, the teeny-tiny car and seemingly DOZENS of clowns pouring out in a never-ending stream! -- there's no WAY, in terms of what we know about modern physics and spatial relationships, that we could fit more than 25 people in this house without everyone being in each other's laps....

and yet somehow, magically, the cottage would seem to sort of stretch and expand to accomodate yet a Few More Bodies.....

(people who've witnessed this phenomenon frequently joke about it, with wonder in their eyes!)

but the point is -- it's time to expand our teachings and the scope of our healings and it's clearly time to find a large, beautiful space that can accomodate our steadily-growing spiritual community here in the Santa Cruz mountains.

in the last year, our satsang group has grown from 4 people, on average, to a regular crew of about 20.

our student body has expanded exponentially -- at this point I'm not even actually sure how many people we've taught this ancient divine knowledge to, but it's in the hundreds.

dozens of students are actively practicing The Five Elements Process (you can see more details about this at www.karmatalk.com) and many have started doing healings through the elements' energies. the results are stunning.

the groups of people attending the healing kirtan/bhajans concerts we offer monthly with The Mystic Jamms Band have increased to anywhere from 30 or more, per night.

finally -- the icing on the cake -- Sri Kaleshwar's magnificent book, called The Divine Mystery Fort, has become one of the most popular sales titles at our local spiritual bookstore, Gateways, in Santa Cruz.

Kaleshwar often says that the negative energy tends to build up fast, accrue power rapidly (like Hitler's 3rd Reich), but it crashes and burns -- but the divine energy builds up step by step, slowly, slowly, and NEVER fades away.

this is why connecting with the divine takes faith and patience.

Shirdi Baba's famous begging career, during his lifetime, was reduced to his asking people, constantly, for merely two rupees, symbolizing his two favorite virtues: Faith & Patience.

two rupees, anyone?

a Snickers for Ganesh

2006-08-25T05:03:00.000-07:00

ganeshlite
Originally uploaded by alxindia.

so, a few nights ago, a group of us did a fire homa (healing Vedic ceremony) at a friend's home. he's hoping to sell the house, and soon, and wanted to get an extra push to remove the obstacles that seem to be preventing the sale of the home.

so, we were on the deck at dusk doing a Laxmi mantra for 1/2 of the homa. the sky was beautiful, getting darker blue as it went along, and the tinges of sunlight around the west horizon (mountains) were fading completely... it was a beautiful night.

after Laxmi, we did 108 times of the Ganesh mantra. as we were about to start, all of a sudden, Ganesh came strongly into my mind -- Jonathan and I were telling stories about him and his nature, and how much he LOVES the sweet things, like his laddus.... -- and I realized we needed to offer something really sweet into the fire for him if this homa was going to be a true Ganesh puja.

I asked if anyone had cookies, or candy -- no one had anything like that. omigawd, it's Santa Cruz and everyone's healthy vegan eaters, non-refined sugar and all. no sugary snacks!

and then -- mercifully! -- one lady remembered she had a Snickers bar in her car. peanuts! caramel! chocolate! oh, perfect!

so she went to get it and we went on with the homa... and after the 108 Ganesh mantras, the passed coconut with all the offerings, we put that Snickers bar on the tray of offerings... and into the fire it went!!!!!!!

(now I wish I had a photo of that Snickers bar, perfectly landed as it did in the fire pit, label up -- oops! we should have unwrapped it?! -- surrounded by roses and incense pieces and quickly engulfed in hungry flames...)

just one of the more surreal moments in the life of an American pujarini.

& it was clear from the fire's response that Ganesha got the offering and was quite merry about accepting it!

street JAMMing

2006-08-21T15:42:00.000-07:00

JammsPGMallaug06
Originally uploaded by alxindia.

"a funny thing happened to me on the street in Santa Cruz on Sunday....."

yeah, I guess! The Mystic JAMMS Band took their first leap into Street JAMMin' -- spending a couple of hours singing sacred songs, kirtan, bhajans and mantras, on the street in Santa Cruz.

what a great way to spend a Sunday afternoon! the vibrations were beautiful, and people walked by, smiled, donated cash, sang along, made 'namaste' with their hands, stared at the photos of Sri Kaleshwara and Shirdi Baba, and enjoyed the music.

thought I'd share the photo as evidence of what can happen when sacred song takes to the streets.

of course we were all completely blissed out and wanted to spend the rest of the night out there...!

some advice on living...

2006-08-16T16:01:00.000-07:00

someone asked about what advice, if any, one could give to young people asking for support and guidance in this life.

my response runs along the lines of...

what would I say to young people? pretty much the same message I’d share with adults:

a couple things – first, never ever do soul prostitution; that is, don’t ever go against your deep inner voice, your deep inner knowing. if you know, internally, intuitively, ‘this is a bad idea’ or you’re faced with taking an action that betrays your deep self – don’t do it.

secondly, learn to meditate and research on yourself and your role in this planet from the inside, to balance all the input and investigation you’re doing on the outside, in the external world. try to find out what’s real, inside yourself, and who you really are (and what you came to do here). try to discover something of the divine fragrance of this life – it is precious.

thirdly, laugh as much and as often as you can – take life as a sport, not so seriously. not taking things personally is one secret to a happy, healthy life no matter what obstacles and trials may come.

finally, be grateful to your parents, daily, for bringing you into this life, this world. they’re the vehicle through which you entered this creation (regardless of whatever happened with them AFTER your birth!) and they deserve respect and gratitude, for that. they represent the Cosmic Mother and Father.

there are prob'ly a few other points I could make; these are just a few pieces of hard-won experience off the top of my head.

today's quote

2006-08-11T13:35:00.000-07:00

"The Master observes the world,
but trusts his inner vision."

-Lao Tzu

war story

2006-08-11T13:00:00.000-07:00

From Webster's New World Dictionary of the American Language:

FASCISM: A system of government characterized by rigid one party dictatorship, forcible suppression of opposition, private economic enterprise under centralized governmental control, belligerent nationalism, racism and militarism, etc.

I have to take a moment and relive a moment of my dad's personal history. I am super-grateful that I was given the parents to whom I was born, and from whom I learned many powerful lessons about life, death, and service on this planet.

my father in particular was an extraordinary man; there really aren't enough words and there isn't enough room on this blog to describe him adequately. I'll settle for sharing a small sketch with you, a few charcoal lines, a la Matisse, to convey at least some flavor of what he was like.

first and foremost, he was the most intelligent human being I've ever met, hands down. his mind was really a steel-trap, and his near-photographic memory served him well throughout his life. his chosen profession was that of a surgeon, and he worked tirelessly as a small-town physician, often unpaid for 2 a.m. repair work on insuranceless victims of head-on car crashes and other delightful accidents.

he was a voracious reader, loved music so much it made him weep, and was similarly bonded with nature. (just talking about old-growth forests made him cry.)

politically, he was an incredible activist who supported many noble and just (and therefore doomed! (giggling)) causes. we got thrown out of one small Missouri town because of his opposition to the Vietnam War, his hatred of then President Nixon, and his belief that women had, among other things, the right to a safe and legal abortion.

above all, though, my dad was a pacifist who thought that war was unacceptable, period. forever and amen.

his heroes were men like Mahatma Gandhi, Albert Schweitzer, and Martin Luther King, Jr.

not as fortunate as his brother, who was actually a conscientious objector to World War II, my dad was compelled to enter military service in 1944 (he had just finished medical school and was a trained surgeon) as a captain in the medical corps. he was sent to the European theatre, in what would now be called a MASH unit, a mobile army surgical hospital, a few miles behind the front of Patton's army in the last throes of WWII.

(he used to howl with laughter, in the '70s, watching the television show M*A*S*H -- he thought it was deadly accurate in its portrayal of medical life in a war zone -- and I often thought he must've been something of a Hawkeye Pierce kind of character, in real life, irreverent, unwilling to be in the war, cynical, iconoclastic and mischievous.)

in later years, when my schoolfriends' dads would tell war stories and boast about how they'd gotten shot by Japs on naval boats in the Pacific Theatre of WW II and nearly died -- I was confused by my own father's absolute refusal to speak of ANYTHING he experienced during World War II.

his only comment about war, when pressed, was this: "war is hell, and I hope that none of my children will ever have to experience it."

one day when medals fell out of his wallet, into a parking lot where he accidentally dropped it, he scooped them up and hurriedly put them back in their hiding place, with a fiery glance that commanded, "don't even ASK."

we never asked.

but one story he did share, years later, in the 1980s, was so brilliant on so many levels -- and so utterly relevant today -- that I feel compelled to put it here, now.

I hope you'll pardon my indulgence, talking about my dad and sharing a piece of his flame with you today.

during the Reagan years, my dad was so appalled and disgusted at the way American society was heading -- dumbed-down schools, underpaid schoolteachers, the arms race (and the so-called Cold War), cutbacks for university students' aid, unbelievably stupid militarism like CIA escapades in Central America, the invasion of Grenada and the Iran-Contra scandal -- that he used to yell back at the TV, especially when Reagan was on giving a speech, with words that I won't type here but I'm sure you get the point.

he was furious about what he perceived as an upsurge in American Fascism, and worried that it was largely unchecked because it was a subtle decline -- the average person's lifestyle was getting tougher and economically more challenging, but it wasn't SO bad, so fast, that anyone really protested.

then one day he told me this story from WW II --

"it was the end of the European war, and Roosevelt made a speech, which was broadcast on the radio, a stirring, inspired speech about how Hitler was vanquished, the German army had surrendered, and peace was once again going to dominate the world we knew. Roosevelt talked at great lengths about the repair of Europe, the outline of what would become the Marshall Plan, and the ideals of the world community, now that balance and peace was restored.

like all the GIs and servicemen, of course I heard the speech and what the ideals were.

a young soldier, someone I'd talked a lot with, over the preceding few months, came running up after the speech was finished, his face lit up and enthusiastic, all full of the idealism and the stirring vision that Roosevelt had laid out.

'Doc!' he cried to me, 'didja hear that! Mr. Roosevelt said the war is over and Hitler's defeated! we can all go home and gee, the world is going to repair itself and Europe will be even greater than it ever was, with American help and support! we're finally going to live in peace! isn't it great????!!!' "

and my dad said to me, about this moment, "I looked at his face and saw all the enthusiasm and naivete of youth, and hope, playing out on his features.....

and I replied, 'yes, son, that's wonderful, and I'm very glad indeed that Hitler has been defeated, and this war is over. but let me ask you -- do you really think we've seen the end of Fascism in this world?' "

my dad said, that kid looked kinda confused, his face fell, and he stared at my dad with a bemused expression and mumbled, "well, gee, Doc, I dunno."

in the 1980s, during the height of Reagan's teflon presidency, and the beginning of the end of American democratic process, relying so heavily on an informed and educated (and participatory!) public, and government beginning to invite more and more influence and allegiance with corporate entitities and their insatiable greed for money and power -- my father would tell this story, and then finish it by adding, thoughtfully --

"I often wonder where that guy is, today, and if he remembers that conversation during the war, and what he thinks as he looks around America now."

Mahavatar Babaji and the Middle East

2006-08-06T13:53:00.000-07:00

Palestine: villages destroyed in 1948
Originally uploaded by alxindia.

the photo for this entry is a map of Palestinian villages that were destroyed in the first Israeli-Arab war, in 1948.

after my many years working as a peace activist on both sides of this conflict (with Arab-Americans and American Jews), and seeing first-hand the mutual devastation these two fine peoples have wrought on one another over decades, I've also observed the incredible similarities between the cultures and values and come to feel that the Arab-Israeli conflict is truly a fratricidal war. a huge (and costly) misunderstanding between two beautiful brothers.

anyway, back to the photo -- this came from a brilliant website, www.ifamericansknew.org, created by an American woman journalist who's spent a lot of time working in Gaza and the West Bank. her position (which I whole-heartedly agree with) is that Americans don't have a clue about the region (except what our heavily biased and wrong-headed mass media tells us) and that if Americans DID know -- we'd stop supporting the modern state of Israel's predilection for warfare and torture with billions of dollars a year in foreign aid.

we need to be properly educated about the region -- and now. with ten thousand Israeli troops pouring into Lebanon -- AGAIN (like a bad deja vu of 1982, a sort of DVD Home Version with extra special added features like new bombs loaded with DU!) -- we need to understand the Middle East more than ever.

make of that what you will -- of course it is politics on the surface level, one part.

on another part -- as universal souls, we do know that whatever injustices are committed in one part of the world, they DO affect all of us, internally.

and now, for spiritual commentary on the region -- Mahavatar Babaji.

this story is excerpted with love and gratitude from a fine little book called "Babaji, Meeting with Truth" by an Israeli woman named Dr. Shdema Goodman. Dr. Goodman has been kind enough to share her extraordinary experiences in the Himalayas, and her extremely painful spiritual development experiences honestly and openly.

the years she spent with Babaji in the Himalayas yielded incredible spiritual gifts and insights, such as this story:

"We went over to the tea shop and he offered me tea.

He then asked someone to give me a cigarette and he asked, "You like?" I told him yes, feeling a little puzzled because I had given up smoking. At the same time, I felt delighted because I realized that it was allowed for me to smoke. I can handle it, I thought, I can use it in moderation and enjoy it. As we were walking back to the Ashram, Babaji picked up his arm and pointed his finger in what looked as though he was shooting with his arm like one would shoot a gun, and asked me, "You like?"

"NO!" I said emphatically, feeling a little flustered that he would insinuate that I liked shooting. Then I became aware of my thoughts immediately prior to his pointing his arm and I realized I had looked on some people there [at the ashram] as being inferior to me.

He later asked me, "The Israelis and the Arabs are fighting?"

"Yes," I responded.

"Who is big, Israel or the Arabs?"

"Israel is a small country, the Arabs large," I said.

"No," he said, "Israel is big."

"Good," I replied.

"Who wins the war?" asked Babaji.

I put up my right fist in a victory gesture and was ready to say, we, Israel, when he turned to his right and started talking with some people. He ignored me totally as I waited and waited to respond. I looked at my raised arm and became painfully aware that my brother and my sister were killed in the Israeli-Arab wars. I had lost.

I put my arm down and waited to respond and Babaji turned his head towards me for my answer.

"We both lose," I said.

He just stared at me without responding. As I walked back to my seat, I felt as though I had shot down those people that I viewed as inferior to me. I saw that I was creating a subtle war.

Even though I had little contact with these people, I was later put down by them at various occasions for no apparent reason. I felt hurt, and I came to realize that even thoughts can create war. There are never any winners when that happens, only losers. We all lose. It took me a long time to realize that there are no inferior or superior people on this planet, only different."

Baba means 'father,' -- not a real name...

2006-07-28T16:32:00.000-07:00

Baba sitting
Originally uploaded by alxindia.

(from Chapter 3, "The Happy Excursion," of Chuang-Tzu)

among men who have achieved happiness,
there was one named Lieh-Tze, who could even ride on the wind.

but although his happiness was great,
it was dependent on the wind
and therefore incomplete.

but now
suppose there were one who could chariot on the normality of the universe,
ride on the transformation of the five elements
& thus make excursion into the infinite.

what has such a one to depend on?

therefore it is said

that the wise man has no accomplishment
the spiritual man has no achievement

& the true sage

has no name.

where Jesus walked...

2006-07-15T14:23:00.000-07:00

Jesus Yogi bigger
Originally uploaded by alxindia.

so the shit in the Middle East is hitting the fan once again.

as a student of humanity, I’m always looking to read ‘between the lines’ and trying to peep behind the scenes in matters like this, I mean, contrasting the surface world realities with some spiritual mechanisms running behind.

trying to dig to the essential bedrock and find out what’s going on, energetically. to inhabit that place where the answers should be easy and somehow aren’t.

(and noticing that they usually contradict the 'official Western media versions' in any case.)

(maybe this partly explains my youth as an activist in the Arab-American community?)

I’ve studied the Middle East from all angles (politically, culturally, religiously, linguistically, etc.) for decades and my conclusion is that something really interesting is happening in relationship to Israel/Palestine having been the place where mystic Judaism expressed itself and then Jesus lived, walked, and was tortured there by way of ushering in a new phase in human enlightenment – an initiation, if you will. Mohammed, later, made a soul journey to Jerusalem and was greeted there by angelic characters.

my feeling about the Middle East in general, and more specifically Israel/Palestine, is that the last 2000 years of conflict in that region (Crusades and all) has been a kind of fallout in response to whatever Christ did there, 2000 years ago. he set love in motion, instead of 'an eye for an eye.'

so – how to see through the veils of illusion and conflict, negativity and suffering that region’s been through for milleniae?

the standard spiritual solution – praying for peace and love – and sending that love, from each of our hearts to the people in the region – is a powerful one.

I would add, though, that human beings can be inspired, ignited, and SHOULD be moved by situations like this to keep digging for the underlying understandings of how this world operates – tragedy on such an epic scale can be a cause for more research of a deeper kind, not hopelessness or resignation or cynicism.

it’s so desperate and knotted, so painful and on-going, we have to ultimately ask ourselves, “how can this happen, in this world?” (ie, "if there's a god who's all-merciful and all-loving.... how can human beings all be doing this crazy torture to one another, in his or her name?")

the inquiry that follows this first question is a spiritual adventure………………!

for each of us, praying STRONGLY to see the truth behind the illusion of conflict and suffering is a complementary approach to sending the love to the people trapped in the conflict and suffering.

if we can see the truth, we can change the illusion.

real moksha

2006-07-05T01:53:00.000-07:00

doglixkitten
Originally uploaded by alxindia.

“While we are here on this planet we have to do something noble with our lives. Our actions must leave a sweet fragrance and be a great message that lives long after we are gone. This is the dharma of each person. Real moksha (enlightenment) is when someone looks in your eyes with gratitude because you have done something to remove their suffering."

-- Sri Kaleshwar

the importance of 'groupism'

2006-07-04T00:55:00.000-07:00

class in session!
Originally uploaded by alxindia.

it's a little-articulated but perfectly obvious mechanism in spirituality, how spiritual communities and groups form and what the benefits of being in a group dynamic, on the spiritual path, are.

I mean, most spiritual paths (and their devolution into religions, I mean the organized and otherwise) revolve around some sense of community, of people coming together, working together toward common goals or vision, sharing their mutual joys and pains as a kind of extended family. human beings seem to understand this importance, intuitively.

the question is why, and what's the underlying reason for forming spiritual groups? it's about soul protection... there's a story about a group of monks meditating at the time the US dropped the atomic bomb on the Japanese city of Hiroshima -- IN Hiroshima. the whole city was reduced to fire and ash but their monastery kept standing and the whole group of monks was unharmed by the explosion and subsequent radiation.

why? the strength of the group.

another part of the answer lies in the necessity, in serious spiritual disciplines, to burn off karma. being in a group helps people SEE directly the creation of karma through action and reaction, in their own lives.

finally, after enough purification and spiritual work and friction and egoism flare-ups between group members, the personalities settle down and the souls start asserting themselves as the dominant arbiters of acceptable or unacceptable behavior. mostly, the personalities get tired of flinging themselves against one another (mostly out of egoism, jealousy, unworthiness or fear, or some combination thereof) and seeing an immediate and unpleasant reaction.

over time, people start behaving in a respectful, communal way with one another out of a kind of soul self-defense (it's easier to be kind and loving and elicit a loving response from one's family members), rather than acting out over and over again, causing more karmic reaction and staying stuck in the drama of anger, misunderstanding, taking everything personally and holding onto blame, resentment, rage and petty jealousy against others.

all of this kind of stuff, these illusion blocks, cause quite a commotion, a disturbance, at the soul level. a person holding onto anger and resentment quite literally can curb their own soul's development.

eventually a smart soul starts to catch on to the game: if I'm rude or cruel to another person, I'm shooting myself in the foot because that person IS me.

people in spiritual groups behaving in unpleasant ways to one another and holding their personal grudges and resentments really disturbs the group harmony and unity -- and their overall chances of succeeding in spiritual life.

we finally get it through trial and error, crashing and burning, mistake after mistake, until we really grok how out of control our egos really are, and that everything we're blaming on another person is really a beautiful (and painful) reflection of our own karma, our own actions, our own reactions.

nothing more, nothing less.

yikes. more surrender, please. I'll have mine with a helping of humble pie and a side dish of patience. and a cup of faith to wash it all down with.

my point: what counts is an understanding that the shakti that runs through us all is the SAME, regardless of what illusion of separation (I am me, you are you) we're operating under. surrendering to a group means surrendering the illusion of our individual egoism -- and acting only to support or promote the group's interest.

as a spiritual person fumbling toward the light... these days... my motto is: "surrender now. avoid the rush."

(think I should have t-shirts made up.)

extreme Jesus

2006-06-26T19:24:00.000-07:00

so why do people in this world have such an extreme reaction when Jesus is mentioned?

some people completely love him, without having a reason -- they just love Jesus, and no matter what religion they were raised with, or not, that's how it is. other people hear his name and -- for whatever reason, maybe they dislike modern Christianity and its apparent disconnect from Christ's actual teachings, or it's a heartbreak having been raised in a perverted Christian tradition, or they come from some other religion (or none) that doesn't have much to do with Jesus, or or or -- they want to run away from that name, that meaning, that energy, Jesus.

attraction. revulsion. sometimes the two co-exist simultaneously.

but even in his own life and times, during the Passion, mostly people were running away from him, not towards him. how is that possible, that the Prince of Peace, the greatest healer in this world, could elicit such a reaction from the people who were around him?

people attuned to the high divine adore him and what he did, and continues to do, in this world. people out of alignment with the high divine want to run the other way from him. or destroy his character, or his good name, from their ignorance. it's natural -- that is the Illusion of this world operating in and through them.

behind it all, though, Jesus is laughing.

like a mother with her children, he knows it's just a matter of time before they figure out what idiots they're being and wake up -- and his energy is utterly committed to waking the souls on this planet up.

he knew exactly what he was doing.

now it's our turn to catch up and understand it, too.

quote for the day

2006-06-24T12:48:00.000-07:00

Durga
Originally uploaded by alxindia.

"god is not a hobby."

-Alx Uttermann

my three Jesuses

2006-06-24T12:19:00.000-07:00

jcearlylight
Originally uploaded by alxindia.

someone was asking recently about the effect of a Christian childhood on my current spiritual life. (since I didn't have a Christian childhood, that's a really interesting question, to me.)

it seems that there's a revitalized interest in the essential Jesus, rather than the Jesus of Christian Religion, lately, what with all the fuss about The DaVinci Code, and tons of books about Jesus & Magdalene emerging, etc.

to my way of understanding, all of this 'repositioning' Jesus and his life and times is not at all accidental -- it seems that the runway is being foamed in our culture, in Western culture in general, to start accepting that the grip of Christianity isn't strong enough to contain the truth of Christ, his messages, and his real teachings and life story (which is RADICALLY different from the pop cultural stuff that seems to be flowing in all directions, these days).

that being said, I was raised agnostic in a family that prized science and reason above all things religious -- and yet we had a deep humanitarian, quasi-spiritual thread running through the house... despite his fierce agnosticism, my dad's heroes were, ironically, all spiritual people -- Martin Luther King, Jr., Mahatma Gandhi, and Albert Schweitzer.

so I KNEW about Christianity but we didn't practice it. except we were all Christmas-mad, completely insane Christmas geeks, and I especially really got hooked on the Nativity scenes, the entry of Jesus into the world, and the underlying meaning of Christmas, not the commercial reindeer thing it had morphed into.

the kicker was Catholic school -- they made me go because our local school was progressive, in terms of education.

I was the only non-Catholic there.

I went to Catholic mass three days a week, and would sit there in wonderment, trying to figure out WHY, HOW, Jesus really let himself be crucifed like that. it just blew my mind, and kind of drove me crazy.

so -- the relationship I had with Christianity was to really dislike the structure of the Catholic Church, and its beliefs and way of imposing itself on people's lives... and other forms of Christianity, the bible-thumpers, really pissed me off.

at the same time, I had a deep, inexplicable connection with Jesus -- staring at the crucifix in the church, endlessly trying to get my mind around the sacrifice this semi-mythical figure had made, of his own body, 2000 years ago.

it just didn' t make sense.

& honestly, I was dismissive of the Jesus of the midwestern religious nuts, since the televangelists were running rampant and everybody who had half a brain could tell these guys were scammers. I felt they really gave him a bad name.

Jesus the towering spiritual figure, in my mind, belonged in one compartment, and Jeee-zus the icon of white southern men shouting "HEAL!" in his name was a parody of itself.

decades later, I found myself in India, researching through meditation and intense spiritual practice, about this creation and how it operates. what the miracle energy is, what the healing energies are, where they come from, who is god, what is enlightenment, etc.

and -- in India, through the yogic traditions, you could say I finally found Jesus Christ.

talk about a cosmic joke!

only this third impression of Jesus, as that of an extraordinary soul who came to this world in order to help it heal, and trained as an Indian yogi (as referenced, in addition to others, by Paramhansa Yogananda) in miracle energies that were well-known, codified, and communicated since time immemorial in India, has really, finally, utterly, made sense to me.

so -- I guess I went from an entirely non-Christian background into a deep relationship with the Jesus energy, in India.

my brain is still reeling.

& my heart is singing....!

Divine Chocolate: The Guru Parampara

2006-05-20T14:42:00.000-07:00

skpranam
Originally uploaded by alxindia.

A miracle is not always an obvious miracle.

People have a tendency, I believe, to think of miracles only in terms of experiencing a physical, tangible, visible result.

Sometimes a miracle, though experienced first through the physical eyes and the human mind, is an internal, private experience of the heart, or the soul. Often it's an event you don't even understand in the moment, but only later, after a period of reflection.

(The rest of this post has been temporarily removed for technical repairs ...)

dancing on the volcano

2006-05-05T10:30:00.000-07:00

mostly I feel that no matter what we're all doing these days, it's dancing on the volcano.

the whole illusion world seems more and more to be just that -- pure illusion. and temporary. what happened to New Orleans taught me a lot about the temporariness, the fragile temporariness, of all the simple things that people hold dear.

I look around my home, I look around downtown Santa Cruz (I'm often out in the cafes!), I look around these incredible redwood forests near Boulder Creek, and all I can think about is 'how long will this last?'

and inside, my inner conviction is -- not very long. (despite humanity's endless capacity for denial and rationalization.)

that upheaval is coming, and soon, and it will be huge and fierce.

many spiritual masters are talking like this, these days, and I'm quite certain it's coming.

so -- precarious -- making hay while the sun shines, and enjoying the calm before the storm.

quote of the day

2006-05-01T21:34:00.000-07:00

vivekananda
Originally uploaded by alxindia.

"God comes down to earth to found religion, and the Devil comes right after him and organizes it."
-- Vivekananda

what the...?

2006-04-29T23:17:00.000-07:00

A & angels Om Sai studio06
Originally uploaded by alxindia.

angels?

what do I mean by angels?

see the brightly-lit, glowing orbs over my head? to the left of Jesus?

yes, angels.

Om Sai in studio...

2006-04-29T23:15:00.000-07:00

Om Sai group4-26-06
Originally uploaded by alxindia.

but we couldn't record a lively bhajan/kirtan CD alone, now could we?

no, certainly not.

so we invited a few friends... (we get by with a little help from our... hey, who let those ANGELS in???!!!!)

check out the angel forms (digital cameras pick 'em up where the naked eye can't see them) in the photo, especially above the head of James, smiling in the back row, third from the left.

you think there's something TO all this sacred singing?

Om Sai in studio!

2006-04-29T23:13:00.000-07:00

IMG_2352
Originally uploaded by alxindia.

more music news:

Alx & Jonathan jump into recording a CD as Om Sai, a Music As Medicine duo....

new Mystic Jamms Band!

2006-04-29T23:12:00.000-07:00

IMG_2339
Originally uploaded by alxindia.

so some folks know but some don't -- the old Mystic Jamms Band (and acronym for Jonathan Alx Martin Maya & Sage) is swaha, offered into the fires of temporality as it rearranges and morphs into a new lineup.

our dear friends Maya & Sage, with whom we began The Mystic JAMMS Band, and brought many incredible songs and bhajans, kirtan and mantras to music life, are going off to India to live in Penukonda (how strange! why would anyone want to do a thing like that??) ( ;-) )

and so...

a new chapter of The JAMMS has begun.

here's the new band with its new members -- Martin, Alx & Jonathan are the old-timers, and Carmen & James are the newbies...

oh, they have NO idea what's in store for them as we ramp up into performing our first Music As Medicine concert (May 12th in Santa Cruz) together.

having a tiger of love by the tail!

so, we've had many many adventures with Maya & Sage, and are sad to 'lose' them (as if anyone or anything is ever lost in this creation) for now... (of course they can always jump into the existing or differently existing JAMMS and we can start up a whole new groove... I'm thinking, "expanded Talking Heads," you know, the one with all the extra chorus singers and two bass guitars and....... and.....)

and we're delighted to welcome in James & Carmen.....

hmmmm....

new acronym?

Martin
Alx
Jonathan
James
Carmen..

the MAJJC... ?

Alx

om gam...

2006-04-25T15:20:00.000-07:00

Ganeshpurples
Originally uploaded by alxindia.

Gam -- pronounced 'gum' -- is the bija mantra of Ganesha; that is, the syllable that expresses his particular soul structure.

it means, chanting gam is connecting directly to Ganesha, to his soul, his energy structure. it's a brilliant practice.

the traditional Ganesh mantra is

om gam ganapathayay namaha

it's just been a Ganesha kind of day.

romping in the cosmos

2006-04-25T15:16:00.000-07:00

Ganeshvivid
Originally uploaded by alxindia.

on the Ganesh celebration day, some years ago, Jonathan and I were in Singapore...

(this post temporarily under repairs and construction...)

Ganapathi

2006-04-25T15:14:00.000-07:00

ganeshgreyed
Originally uploaded by alxindia.

in my own life and spirituality, I'm constantly invoking Ganesha -- before every meditation, every healing, every process, concert, whatever. this is part of the Indian tradition, and part of the meditation/spiritual life that I learned in India...

so I'm constantly thinking about, saying a mantra to, or singing about Ganesha. it's common, in the Indian tradition, to be doing that.

I also keep Ganesh statues or images of some kind at every doorway in my home and also down one walkway, before people reach the entry door -- he automatically washes out negativity from people coming into the house and gives them a beautiful blessing.

it's a smart mechanism, to have Ganesha greet people before they enter your home -- in India, if you visit a temple complex, you'll see a Ganesh temple in front of the main temple buildings. people ALWAYS go first to Ganesha, then into the other deities.

a few things about Ganesh...

2006-04-25T15:07:00.000-07:00

Ganesh
Originally uploaded by alxindia.

people have been asking about Ganesha, the Indian deity who embodies the removal of all obstacles, so I thought I'd write a bit about his nature and his stories, as I understand them...

here's some flavor:

his head actually came from an elephant-demon named Gajasura (whose friend was a rat-demon named Mushika) who got, as demons usually do, a boon from Shiva that he couldn't handle and he wound up dying because of it.

at the same time, Parvati (Mrs. Shiva), the Mother Divine, was upset with Shiva (he's meditating all the time and has no time to spend with her!) because he didn't want children. in her bath, she thought, "well, I can make my own baby, I don't need him....." and she started making, with her own sweat and sandlepaste (from the bath) and some kum-kum (red powder), a little boy, a baby.

that baby was Ganesha.

unfortunately, the lila goes that She set him outside the door to guard her bath while She was meditating.... and Shiva came home from his hard yogi work and didn't recognize the boy in front of the door.... of his own wife....

anyway, Ganesha didn't know Shiva, either, and so wouldn't let him in to see Parvati. at this point, Shiva got enraged and started fighting a duel with Ganesha... and the long and the short of it is that he lopped off the boy's head.

oops.

Parvati came screaming, hysterical... and Shiva couldn't fix the boy again. neither could Mother.

so they sent some Brahmarshis (top Rishis) out to find the head of the first creature they could find, sleeping with the top of its head to the North (the direction of death, when you're sleeping -- not too smart to sleep that way!) and they found the dying Gajasura, an elephant demon... and stuck his head back on the body of the boy Parvati had created.....

and so was created Ganesha.

he's the ultimate siddha, the great great great siddhic master -- Mother's gatekeeper, meaning, gatekeeper to the supernatural abilities....... (which ARE Her.)

relaxation....

2006-04-25T15:00:00.000-07:00

kittystyle
Originally uploaded by alxindia.

"relaxation is 90% of success in spirituality."

-Sri Sai Kaleshwara Swami

soon to come...

2006-04-14T14:27:00.000-07:00

since today is "Good Friday" in the Christian tradition, and this-coming Sunday is the celebration of Easter.... it seems right to be talking about the deeper meaning of Christ, his life and times. it's been on my mind a lot.

in the meantime, however -- Dr. Seuss has the last word:

"Be who you are and say what you feel because those who matter don't mind and those who mind don't matter."
- Dr. Seuss

home sweet om

2006-03-30T03:15:00.000-08:00

FrostCottagefront
Originally uploaded by alxindia.

finally home again in California!

India was the usual melting pot -- uh, crucible, that is.

I always walk into the ashram life in Penukonda thinking it's going to be smooth sailing and within 45 minutes of having that thought, endless opportunities for conflict and pettiness walk in the doorway ad infinitum.

great chances to practice what I preach! (ouch!) it's like being in a hall of mirrors that are completely distorted and unflattering, and seeing the worst of yourself, constantly, every which way you turn around. (reflected back to you from the people around you.)

so, big internal adventure, as it always is, as well as all the external travelling, heat, food shock and other cultural surprises.

and, yes, India is my soul home.

physically, though, it's nice to be re-inhabiting Frost Cottage.

Mother Kali (poem)

2006-03-28T18:22:00.000-08:00

Vajra Kali
Originally uploaded by alxindia.

Amma

I have walked the ground where they made you, Mother
whirling with dust & wind
my mouth dry & pacing
the sound of your eternal hum in my ears
whipping my mind into you
whipping all minds into you
melting all Mind.

I see all the whims you dropped onto the earth,
forgotten like unimportant toys
when you picked up your weapons, Amma,
to go & fight the worst demons
that live in all of us now
in towering battle
& pure cosmic rage –

your tongue blood-red
dripping rich with the element of soul’s passage,
of life & death & creation & more creation

& endless, infinite thirst to lick up
all the greed & selfishness of ignorant, shameful
egoism
that you can swallow
in your great gaping gulps
of ferocious love….

I used to wonder, “when are you coming for me?”
dreaming
in meditative states of suspended excitement
at reunion and half-fear,
dread that you wouldn’t love me
as much as I haven’t loved me
all these years in this body,
making these mistakes,
hurting innocence,
creating such chaos in the hearts & minds
of those I professed to love the most….

could I even see you, through the pile
the insurmountable pile of skulls & bones,
regrets & heartbreaks, looming between us?

but then one night
I met you face-on & knew you,
knew your high wild divine nature
as well as I know my own,

your eyes glittering black diamonds
the light bouncing in all directions but once,
just once,
purely focused in mine
emblazoning your way into my soul
for an eternity…

sure, I could hardly stand up,
a child, a real child in the hurricane,
all the internal winds
of your impossible love swirling in my heart
until
it was drunk with the Om,
drunk with the primordial sound of creation,
drunk with the swoop & shudder of you,
drunk & threatening to pass on or pass out
limp at your feet
prone & mute before the very majesty
of your silent thundering self…

I came from You!

did You ever begin?
there certainly could be no end!

long-tongued & regal, plump & dark
like the most sacred night of my own life,
the blackness of birth,
the anguish of soul yearning,
the endless sky against which
every star is just so much careless jewelry
scattered & sparkling like gems in a crown

oh, Mother, you are the crown of heaven,
the halo of stars, the galaxy in my heart

the fusion the knowing the depth the endless growing

in my soul you are in me now, Ma, & I am in you
& it has always been thus but for the fog,
the incredibly cloying velvet fog of forgetfulness
in whose cloth you wrapped me at birth
& nursed me in loss
& fed me, alive, to the deaths of those I loved most,

& through which shimmering veil, now,
grace of a pure tiger,

I can stand naked, wobbly on two feet

& see you

clearly

through all of my eyes

& know

finally

in the wind of your breath
in the storm of your eyes
in the lightning of your touch
in the bones of my form
in the blood in my heart

in all directions

what it really means
to come home.

singing bliss

2006-03-03T22:16:00.000-08:00

A&J bhajans 1
Originally uploaded by alxindia.

it's the Bliss that pinches
Grief in the ass & won't let go
without a fight --

one divine fool can stumble merrily into a crowd,
swaying & listing unsteadily
while singing the names of god
at the top of his lungs,

all the while
pouring that goofy bliss
into the hearts of those
who like to listen
&
be healed by the sound of the sun

but there're always a few grouches
in the joint, broken-hearted
& threatened by joy
who try to silence the fool's song --
oh! slam & lock the door! --
or drown it out with their own
fierce yowls
of pain.

these guys are the same ones who shush
happy children at play
& would sooner steal their toys
than endure
the agony of another's innocent fun.
sometimes they even board up their own windows
to prevent the sun from shining its light
into their rooms.

but what are all these petty strategems
to a staggering old fool who's been drinking with god again,
singing heartily the divine's own light?

the arrows & insults, the locked doors & barricaded ears
only deliver the true grief cries,

those silent invitations
to sing ever louder, ever louder,

& to kiss each angry heart
with the crazy lips of love.